lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

[MardyQuickFollowThatStar]

QOD this thread might help

[PacificDogwood]

When I first moved to the UK I repeatedly used the phrase 'I am so pissed' meaning 'pissed off' in American English - a kind colleague eventually set me straight .

I am raising my kids bilingually (German/English) but am sticking to the word 'digger' even when speaking German for a certain large building site machine, as the German word is not one I would like to shout across the playground: Bagger... .

Loving this thread!

[TeenageWildlife]

Famous gay English friend of mine in terribly fancy restaurant in Italy. He asked the waitress if he could have "a cunt" - instead of "a fig" from the fruit basket - waitress not happy and screamed a bit. Gay famous man v embarrassed to learn why.

fig = un fico
cunt = una fica

[QOD]

I get it now!!

[BonzoDooDah]

Loving all these!

In India loads of the shops have welcome signs above the doors. But they seem to think that it is two words not one so all the signs say "Wel Come" which amused me greatly anyway.
But one shop had hyphenated the words but put the hyphen too close to the l so it looked like a t .... So their shop had a massive sign over the door saying "WetCome"
Which was nice.

In Spain DH asked a shop assistant for nappies. She looked at him a bit odd, then asked her friend. They had a big conversation then went off round the shop for ages and came back saying no. He was a bit and thought FFS no nappies in a supermarket??? But he'd asked for panales (honeycomb) and nappies are pan~ales (pronounced panyales)

[villanova]

My lovely Russian distributor always ended her e-mails with "Staining at your disposal" - I think she meant 'staying', but I never dared to ask!

[grins]

An italian colleague when talking to someone on another floor in the office used the line "hold on, I come down and deal with you orally"

Another time he and I were driving and the song "Golden Brown" came on the radio. He asked me "Why they write a song about the Chancellor?"

[DuchessOfAvon]

We had a spanish finacne trainee who gave a presentation to a couple of board memebers about his "spread shits" and repeatedly asked them to "look at your shit".

[madangelhaironchristmasday]

My mum was doing a talk at church and said that 'the church community is a living orgasm'

obviously meaning organism, bless her

me and my brothers were trying to hold back the laughter along with most of the congregation.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Actually PMSL at these ....

One of my husbands first attempts at Norwegian, was telling my mum that "I am sperm". "Sad" is sperm. He wanted to say, "I am sad, but...."

You know those modern speed signs which shows you your actually speed ? "Your speed" . Well, in Norway they say "Din fart".


Dh cut out a lovely article for the newspaper (about airplanes) with title "Jet Fart" (jet speed)

"Burp" in norwegian is "Rape". I was in a small shop in town when a very gassy shop assistant was trying to excuse herself to some tourist, saying "I am sorry, I am raping bananas". oh dear.

As for my own mistakes in London?

As a student, I was down in Brick Lane with two friends when woman turned to me and said "Excuse me, could I have one of your fags please?" I gesticulated towards my friends and replied "Sure, you can have whichever one you want." I did not realize that fags were sigarettes.

[juneybean]

When I worked in a restaurant the new italian area manager decided to add a lovely note to the bottom of the receipt "thanks for phoning" instead of thanks for calling.

[mumbar]

I lived in Tenerife for 6 years. I inadvertantly when trying to juggle DS (3 months) and order a chicken at the deli counter asked for 'un polla cliente, por favor'. (A hot willy!)

Meant 'un pollo'

Polla is una anyway - work that one out!!

[spiderlight]

I recently edited a book for an author whose first language is not English. He sent me a copy after it had been published: the frontispiece has a lovely acknowledgement thanking me (by name) 'for putting her mother tongue in my mouth'

[TheHappyCamper]

I am crying . By far the funniest thread I have read in ages. Mine aren't nearly as funny but fairly embarassing all the same!

1. Aged about 9 or so I asked my Dad what "spunk" was! (we don't discuss sex in my family and like a previous poster also have people in 'the family way').I can't actually remember what answer he gave!
   

1. DH's eccentric and wonderful Gran aged 90, playing with dd 20 months who's just starting to say a few words. She has a little soft toy cat and they are stroking it and petting it etc (you can see where this is going...)
   

Gran says repeatedly "Oh you like pussy don't you!" "Give pussy a stroke" Can you say pussy?". I was trying so hard not to look at DH and smirking/sniggering! She had no clue whatsoever bless her!

1. On holiday in France I developed thrush and had to try to get some cream from the pharmacy. My French is ok for ordering food etc but I literally didn't know any words even close to getting what I needed! I was reasonably embarrassed when I went in but little did I know it was about to get so much worse! The following ran like a sketch from a comedy show!
   

The lovely (but very posh) French lady couldn't speak any English at all and just gave me very bemused looks and eventually got her assistant. After about 5 minutes of trying to explain, they took me over to the santitary towels! "non"! Then they went and got some bloke from out the back! After much gesictulating and googling something I think I said, he managed to work out what I wanted. He was so delighted with himself and kept saying "Trush - I have learnt a new word! Trush!" then proceeded to proudly explain in broken English in excruciating detail how to use it . After paying I literally ran out of the shop with flaming cheeks!

(Am still mortified now thinking about it! Oh the shame!)

PS. If it saves anyone else I think it's something bizarre like "champignons microscopique" ???? .... tiny mushrooms????

lol lol

[Milliways]

I worked for a Bank with an Indian Call centre & preocessing centre. One day I had a call from there asking to speak to me about one of our "Airy Arse" Customers?

It took a bit of probing to realise they meant a Mortgage "Arrears" customer

So, anyone in arrears was then categorised as an "'airy arse"!

[WintervalPansy]

We had a good old smirk at a 'vagetarian' kebab in Istanbul.

[kitbit]

New to Spain and keen to try out our shiny new spanish skills we nearly ended up with a banana coloured car. (plata/platano)

We also startled the rather matronly lady at the furniture shop by insisting we wanted a "chest of bollocks" in the bedroom. (cajones/cojones)

We also arrived in a hotel reception with a sheaf of papers advertising our new business and asked the bemused receptionist if we could display our "fuckings". (folletos/folletas)

Not content with that MIL once announced to the lady in the post office one humid August afternoon (in a verrry small village) that she was horny. ("I am hot" versus "I have heat". Sometimes a direct translation from English isn't the one you need...)