lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

I am roffling at these.

mine is tame in comparison but my father repeatedly asked the waiters for a love -letter (billet-doux) in france, when he meant the bill. Given how homophobic he is, it was ver' ver' funny!

I remember on a school trip to France, my friend saw a vending machine that she thought sold sweets (with some kind of preservatives in) - yes - she bought a pack of condoms by accident (preservatif).

In Germany, I remember host family laughing when instead of saying I was cold (Mir ist kalt (sp?)) I said Ich bin kalt (I am frigid). Similarly, instead of saying I was hot, I told them I was horny

lol. That's fantastic!

How about when I asked a bloke at work if I could use his printer "om een foto van mijn pusje te printen" - 'to print a photo of my pussy'. Obviously it was my cat not my fanjo.

Or the time I said to a friend I needed to buy some "scheer giel" - 'shaving horny' meaning shaving gel...

Not at all embarrassing. No.

Itsjustafleshwound - I learn't to stop talking about boxes a while ago...

My parents were told at a parents evening that my sister would make a marvellous hooker

I once told my German MIL that DH and I were looking forward to a visit to a strip club that weekend.

I meant neighbour. All credit to her. She didn't flinch.

Aged 12 I managed to tell my very lovely French exchange family on the first night that my brother was a stupid cunt. I'd meant to say that he was a bit of a clumsy oaf.

crying at the children with crabs and the blowjob juice

These are brilliant.

My brother was somewhere remote in Latin America, on a bit of a trek and increasingly desperate for the loo. Finally stumbling across a little café, he burst in, sweaty and red faced, and every face in the place turned to stare at him as he loudly demanded to know where the asylum was.
He meant toilet. sanitario / sanitorio iirc. (something like that anyway)

These are so funny!

English is second language for both my boss and myself but I daresay that my accent is slightly better than his :)

It's hard not to smirk when his favourite expression in team meetings "you must focus" comes out as "you must f... us" :o. Repeatedly...

SevenAgainstThebes - I nearly died laughing the first time I listened properly to the Beach Boys song that describes them wearing "t-shirts, cut-offs and a pair of thongs/We've been having fun all summer long" ["I bet" emoticon]

When I was playing pool with my DH (then DP), he was winning and he announced very loudly- I have fart.
Fart in Polish means to have good luck :)

Not a conversation but it took me a while to get used to a company called 'fuks' who collect plasic or something.

When I was a 17 year old waitress, a couple of very sweet tourists came in and ordered "two penis colada please".

I was looking at some camping websites and one from the US said "And boys, dont foget your thongs for the showers"

My dad once asked someone what a "flying fuck" was. I think he was genuinely curious, he'd been in the RAF.

this thread must go in classics - I'm in tears here!

:o Madam

My Canadian friend raised a few eyebrows with my parents, laughing that her pants were covered with funny stains after her country walk earlier that day.

My Mum lives in Spain and regularily has her Span ish neighbours round. Neither speak much of each others language

My Mum tells them all she has been in Spain for 'uno anos' and wondered why she got so many sniggers. She was finally told she should of been saying 'uno anyo'. She was basically telling them she had one arse

Another Chinese one...

I was talking to a Chinese man once when he said 'Excuse me, I have to go to the toilet -immediately'. It was the 'immediately' that still makes me laugh years later.

I made the classic error of muddling up when to use "are" vs. "have", it makes an enormous difference to meaning in many languages, and in addition got unlucky with the digit (6) in my sentence.

I told a client "We're a small company and only have sex in our office. Both of the women are currently pregnant: isn't that funny?"

He coughed and said, "Well that sounds unusual but rather logical."

Actually, he phones and texts me quite a lot.

"I need a bulb for my bra", said a Russian friend emerging from a bedroom. "Bra" in Russian means a wall-lamp.