lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

The German assistant who taught with me in France years ago made a couple of brilliant blunders:

First lesson to a class of twelve year olds, explaining a few cultural differences between France and Germany, she stated that the Germans are less effusive than the French as they merely shake hands in the street when they bump into an acquaintance - whereas the French fuck one another. That un baiser/se baiser thing is tricky...

Invited by v staid French teacher of German to his v staid house for dinner with him and his v staid wife, she remembered she'd forgotten to mention to him that that day she'd rummaged through his classroom cupboard looking for some slides to show the pupils. So she said, in front of v staid wife, "Bertrand, I must tell you that today I went into your bedroom, opened your wardrobe, and rummaged through all your little follies."

English friend working as a hairdresser in v posh Parisian salon.
Cuts extremely snooty lady's hair, holds up a mirror to show her how short it is at the nape of the neck, and asks politely:

"Et maintenant, Madame, voulez-vous que je vous coupe un peu les poils du cul?" (And now, Madame, would you like me to trim the hair on your arse a little?)

My sister-in-law has lived in the States for a long time and there they call 'teats' for a baby's bottle 'nipples'.

One day, while visiting us, when discussing weaning her baby she was telling me that she didn't always put the steriliser on....she just 'boiled her nipples' in a saucepan....

Another time she was telling everyone how she needed to get to Boots to get some new 'nipples'....to try and prevent her baby suffering from colic...it's a conversation stopper!!

she just 'boiled her nipples' in a saucepan

Ah dear, I think I just ruptured someting laughing

The first job I got when I moved to the UK was being a stock controller, picking orders for a big producer of flour, and other baking products, such as yeast.

One day, when sorting out an important urgent order, I noticed a shortage of some product. So I picked up the phone to call the customer and said "Hey Glenn, I've got a yeast problem"

He didn't know what to say.

While working a dinner party to a very posh group of elderly English couples, they all shuffled off to the parlour to have tea and brandy. One gentleman stayed behind to discuss with me and the chef about the pheasant we served and how good it was. "I've always loved a good cock to be honest but you just can't get that nowadays", he says... the chef was gay as well so it made it even funnier. We barely contained ourselves.

As a child I was sent to the newsagent to get my Mums "Woman" magazine. I couldn't see it on the shelves and so deliberated for a moment before asking the man "Have you got any women?"

AuldAllience you just made me splutter twice! Arse hair and fucking in the street!

My niece (in Holland) wanted to call her rabbit Wanka, but was persuaded to change to Minke

I work for a company which has offices at each side of the street, I'm often told that "x has gone over to the other side".

when I first came to England, I was working in a coffee shop. Most of us were foreigner. Not always mistranslation (the first on was) but mispronounciation of words.

A few I can remember were:

"You know the girl with FAT eyes" meaning to say BIG eyes from my portuguese collegue.

"Just PUKE some coffee in it" instead of PUT som cofee on it from a Craotian collegue

And myself, well instead of "WRAPPING" biscuits and cakes I was "RAPING" them I have no idea how many times I actually said it wrong before someone actually corrected me!

a friend of mine in Italy went to a diy shop looking for a piece of wood to make a skirting board (zoccolo), what he actually asked for was a zoccola - slag, so the conversation went like this (with verb confusion - italian for do/make also means shag)

shop assistant: can I help you?
friend: yes I need a piece of wood to shag the slapper in my kitchen

Same friend, at the market, asked for a belt made of culo (arse) instead of cuoio (leather)

Spooktrain, maybe she only wanted leather from that specific part of the animal?

grr forgot the

Mars bar party? Wikipedia explains all!

Lol this thread should really be renamed, "FOUND in translation" :)

my dad repeatedly, with emphasis, referred to my mother as "a very good cock". He meant to compliment her cooking! He must have got confused because kok is the Russian for ship's cook

a friend of mine once worked as an interpreter for a Taiwanese chap (I think he was Taiwanese anyway ) It took her a long while to work out what he means by "pussyness" (business)

My friend's dad was a barrister. I was interested in a career in the law (yes, I know). He asked me if I would like to see his briefs. I was 14. I nearly expired on the spot.

Myself and DH went on a holiday in Lithuania once. At the hotel where we were staying we kept bumping into this massive Lithuanian bloke who always wore the same bright orange t-shirt with hunk the horn printed on it in big letters. I wouldn't mind, he had a wife and a kid.
Also, there was an ad in the lobby for a local "real English pub" called The Horn. To this day, i can't see what their fascination with this word is!

We were playing Chinese whispers at my DP's birthday party (mixed bunch, in-laws included, school friends and one young niece). It was a few years ago so I can't remember what the original word was. The naughty BIL whispered in my ear "beef curtains" and being the last in line, I announce loundly - "beef curtains?!?!" thinking it's a random combination of words that got mixed up on the way...
The laughter still resounds in my head, and I can still see DP's red face, not sure if from laughter or horror...

Loving this trend I'm at work but didn't get anything done (it's very quiet) just managed to worry my colleagues as they can see tears rolling down my cheeks and hear me snorting a lot

explain beef curtains?