lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

as an exchange student in France, I was trying to show off in front of my host family that I understood a bit of French, so told the taxi driver in Paris very confidently, ' a la guerre' instead of 'a la gare...'

When I was living in France, there was a young English guy in the same block who was v keen on improving his colloquial French. He heard people using 'une moule' and figured that it was a casual term for a girl. Which is how he came to leave a message on a v straight laced neighbour's door telling her that some c*nt had called .

Love the 'dogging trousers' .

I'm sitting at my PC at work whilst very important senior corporate lawyers are discussing a deal behind me (am lowly trainee so not really involved), literally writhing with laughter at these and trying not to snort.

This is the most brilliant thread! Please keep telling your stories

When I was in the Dominican Republic a few years ago, the hotel provided you with a list of information and rules of the hotel.

It asked for guests to 'rectum' their towel,before 10pm.

I hoped,and presumed that they actually meant return.

H says anyone who can explain with a straight face what dogging is to his Dad gets his vote .

Have been laughing out loud at this thread - love it! Particularly like the woman who called her baby a tiny wanker and the FIL's dogging trousers.

DD2 (3yrs old) walking round a large supermarket began chattering with a random stranger as usual. To my horror she announced 'I like looking at Daddy's cock'!!!

What she meant was she likes looking at his watch, which she refers to as a clock and pronounces as cock!

I was mortified, DP nearly died on the spot and the stranger suddenly dissapeared. I have no idea how we managed to get out of the shop without being arrested.

"I'm cold. No no no. I have a cold. No. I'm a fridge. No, I'm frigid. No, I'm a post office".

Brilliant.

Champagne tasting in France with friends & the lady explaining to us how the bubbles 'come in your mouth'

One of my XHs great aunts used to announce that she was wanked after she had eaten a big dinner.

Still to this day I am not sure what the hell she meant - used to raise sniggers all round though!

jaquelinehyde:

in the centre of our village there is an orchard with chickens and a cockerel. On approaching this, aged 2, dd1 would yell, very loudly:

Cock!
BIG cock!
BIG DADDY COCK!

On meeting her french potential grand-mother in law for the first time my friend declare "On se bais?" only to be met with a a bit of a shocked old lady who suggested "Er non! On fait les bises" (I think my rusty french has got that about right). She asked if they should fuck instead of kiss (as in on the check multiple times like the french do)

absolutely helpless here at tiny wanker....soooo funny! love this thread.

PMSL at Daddy's cock, tiny wanker and No I'm a post office.

jacquelinehyde, my DD (2yo) says that! She says "Dada's cock!" meaning his watch that she likes to play with. So far only at home though!

Trying to figure out which routes to take for a triathlon became fraught with difficulty in New Zealand where they cracked up every time I mentioned "we'll do this route here then? Or shall we do the route by the beach?" a 'root' down under has a different meaning as I discovered.. :o

My friend and I were in a restaurant in Egypt and proudly at the top of the menu there was the option of "crap eggs". Err no thanks doesnt sound too appealing.

My mum is always getting things slightly mistranslated, she used to tell my dad to "switch off" that cigarette (desallumer I think in French, literally switch off) and she once gave someone instructions for a carrot cake with the phrase "rape two carrots" (rappee in French means grate).

On a slightly different note a friend of mine spent a year in Japan and was doing Japanese lessons. One night she went out with a load of people she'd met for a few drinks and a meal. Towards the end of the meal someone offered her some more of something and emboldened by the booze she decided to try out some of Japanese she'd learnt. She knew the phrase for I've and the phrase for had enough so she put them together.... when the table collapsed in laughter she had to ask what she'd said. By putting the two phrases together she'd actually said "I have no pubic hair"

This is so funny: I am crying with laughter...

A French speaking Swiss friend was working as a tour guide in a coach full of English speakers. She was asked how Fondue is made.

She started by saying, "Well, first you rape the cheese" (as above, raper=grate in french).

There was general merriment in the bus and she enquired as to what was so funny? And was told, "well now we know why there are such big holes in Swiss cheese!"

A friend of mine here in Greece once offered to let me use her fanny as I was so hot

a german friend could not understand why people were laughing at him. his kids call him "vati" (dad) which sound very similar to farty.

Not as funny as anything here but I remember the big boss of our company coming over from the States to a retirement party for our MD (after the fecking company had made us all redundant ) and he was giving a speech. He decided to tell us all about how when he was younger his mother would whoop his fanny. I don't think he understood why hardly anybody could look him in the eye after that comment.

My mother (who is a liabilty when out on her own- not be trusted) went down to the corner shop and asked for:' a shag please'

She came back rather confused and said I only asked for a shag and they didnt understand me, I had to point to it.

She meant she wanted a packet of rolling tobacco which is Dutch slang is called shag or shaggie.

She then also managed to point at 2 chefs on top of a ferry shouting above the noise to my 3 year old DS, look there are the koks (Dutch word for chef).

these are the 1st two that spring to mind...