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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a 50 yr old man to be able to change a duvet cover.

204 replies

DaisyDukes2 · 04/10/2026 23:19

As it says on the time really. Any time he changes it (always prompted by me) he manages to put it in the wrong way (super king size duvet so wider than long). He did it again yesterday only this time the duvet cover was inside out too. Asked him to fix it and he faffed around with it but made it worse. I refused to fix it or sleep under it so grabbed a spare duvet and used that myself last night. Today he asked me to fix it because he just can't do it. Too small a hill to die on???

OP posts:
Friendlygingercat · 04/10/2026 23:21

Weaponised incompetence is a wondrous thing

MyOwnSummer · 04/10/2026 23:22

Do not cave. Unless you're going to drip feed that he has some kind of brain injury, then he's going to have to learn the hard way.

There's nothing about having boob's that makes putting on a duvet cover easier.

Being a total fucking tit is no barrier either.

PumpkinSeasonIsHere · 04/10/2026 23:24

Unless he has particular difficulties with spatial awareness etc, my opinion is that he just really hates doing it and would prefer you to do it.

Personally I prefer it when people just say oh I loathe that task, is there something I could take on instead? I can’t deal with klutzing out aka strategic incompetence.

PumpkinSeasonIsHere · 04/10/2026 23:26

Friendlygingercat · 04/10/2026 23:21

Weaponised incompetence is a wondrous thing

Edited

Being unable to determine the inside and outside of a duvet cover is quite concerning. I wonder whether he manages to dress himself appropriately.

GarlicEverything · 04/10/2026 23:26

Your point's fair in general, but I can't see which way round the duvet's supposed to go. It's hit and miss for me! I keep meaning to really apply myself, get it right and then mark the end that goes where the opening is.

After 50 years of duvet packing, I still haven't got round to it ...

Cover inside out is bad, though. If that happens, you take the bugger off and do it again.

T1Dmama · 04/10/2026 23:26

I taught my husband the easy way of doing it and showed him once!…. Told him I would show him once and only once and as an adult he should be able to do it.
I turn the cover inside out, grab the top corners of the duvet through the corner and shake it in…. Always making sure the big label is at the bottom where duvet cover does up… I think I’d show him how to it and tell him that he really needs to learn

PumpkinSeasonIsHere · 04/10/2026 23:28

GarlicEverything · 04/10/2026 23:26

Your point's fair in general, but I can't see which way round the duvet's supposed to go. It's hit and miss for me! I keep meaning to really apply myself, get it right and then mark the end that goes where the opening is.

After 50 years of duvet packing, I still haven't got round to it ...

Cover inside out is bad, though. If that happens, you take the bugger off and do it again.

When I had that size duvet, I used to fold it diagonally to figure out which freaking edge was longer and which was shorter. Give it a go.
I have a 200x200cm one now and life is much easier in general 😂

GarlicEverything · 04/10/2026 23:29

the big label is at the bottom where duvet cover does up

Hang on, is this true of all duvets???!!!!

T1Dmama · 04/10/2026 23:32

GarlicEverything · 04/10/2026 23:29

the big label is at the bottom where duvet cover does up

Hang on, is this true of all duvets???!!!!

I’ve always put my label along the bottom 🤷🏻‍♀️

BigFatLiar · 04/10/2026 23:33

I'll own up, I'm in my 60s and struggle with duvets if I'm doing them on my own. I need my OHs help, there just seems so.much of it and it gets out of control. If he's not around I give up and sleep under blankets and a bed spread.

Some people are just not duvet fixers. If you don't like his reluctance or 'issues' with duvets suggest sleeping seperate and you get your own duvet, he gets blankets.

LucyBamba · 04/10/2026 23:33

It’s not difficult. Turn the duvet cover inside out, lay it on the bed, place duvet on top, roll duvet and diver cover from the closed top part. When you get to the other end place corners inside duvet cover and unroll, the cover goes on while you unroll it. It’s not difficult to work out which way the duvet fits the bed for goodness sake. I agree with weaponised incompetence, the more he changes it the easier he’ll learn. It would be his job from now on until he learns.

TheBayHorse · 04/10/2026 23:33

My DS has a disability which affects his coordination and really struggles with duvet covers. It's not easy for everyone.

EmeraldDreams73 · 04/10/2026 23:40

My DH is 60 and fucking useless at duvet covers. Ours is super king so a complete pain. He fucks it up every time to the extent I can't sleep under the weirdness, so now he gets an extra pair of hands and we do it together. We don't have a spare room or I'd die on that hill.

JustAnotherWhinger · 04/10/2026 23:43

I always make an arse of duvet covers. Until I had kids I assumed it was because I’m really short so shaking it out is difficult but I’m shit with cot and single size ones as well.

ByRoseSnake · 04/10/2026 23:45

I'm absolutely shit at duvet covers and bedding in general. I have an irrational hatred of it. Being single rn, I suck it up and try not to blame my short arms lmao, but I do recall that when I was with a partner we'd just allocate workloads according to what we felt better suited to. E.g. he did the bedsheets, I cooked the supper. He cleaned the oven, I cleaned the carpets etc etc.

*maybe having long arms to put bedsheets and duvet together is a conspiracy theory hahaha, but my hatred of the task remains

takealettermsjones · 04/10/2026 23:48

LucyBamba · 04/10/2026 23:33

It’s not difficult. Turn the duvet cover inside out, lay it on the bed, place duvet on top, roll duvet and diver cover from the closed top part. When you get to the other end place corners inside duvet cover and unroll, the cover goes on while you unroll it. It’s not difficult to work out which way the duvet fits the bed for goodness sake. I agree with weaponised incompetence, the more he changes it the easier he’ll learn. It would be his job from now on until he learns.

Edited

I need a video of this because I'm trying to picture it and failing 🤣

JustWalnut · 05/10/2026 00:08

LucyBamba · 04/10/2026 23:33

It’s not difficult. Turn the duvet cover inside out, lay it on the bed, place duvet on top, roll duvet and diver cover from the closed top part. When you get to the other end place corners inside duvet cover and unroll, the cover goes on while you unroll it. It’s not difficult to work out which way the duvet fits the bed for goodness sake. I agree with weaponised incompetence, the more he changes it the easier he’ll learn. It would be his job from now on until he learns.

Edited

To be fair that way sounds extremely difficult! Why faff around rolling up and rolling out when you can just grab the corners and shake?!

outerspacepotato · 05/10/2026 00:09

Domestic science harder than rocket science.

Who knew?

MrsClatterbuck · 05/10/2026 00:21

Dh and I always changed it together but I now have the coverless duvets. Total game changer.

PollyBell · 05/10/2026 00:39

I have always struggled not sure what age has to do with it, just because i am female doesnt mean I get everything domestic right

UnderMirkwood · 05/10/2026 00:42

For those of you who find it impossible to put a duvet cover on a duvet, why don't you just get rid of the duvet and switch to a top sheet and blankets, just like people did before duvets. Surely it would make your life much easier.

YetAnotherAlias62 · 05/10/2026 00:44

The first time I stayed the night with my boyfriend (we're in our 60s, been together for 2 years now), I woke up about 2am seriously overheating.
He leapt out of bed, got his summer duvet out, swapped it with the winter one we'd been sleeping under, and got back into bed - all within about 3 mins and without turning the light on.
I think that's when I fell in love with him - I do love a capable man 😍😂

socialdilemmawhattodo · 05/10/2026 02:01

EmeraldDreams73 · 04/10/2026 23:40

My DH is 60 and fucking useless at duvet covers. Ours is super king so a complete pain. He fucks it up every time to the extent I can't sleep under the weirdness, so now he gets an extra pair of hands and we do it together. We don't have a spare room or I'd die on that hill.

But this is fine. That's lovely. Known issue and you collaborate to get it right. Hopefully he helps you with other tasks. PS Super king - bloody nightmare. I have to do that on my own. Fine when you are younger, but not in your 60's!

GreengrocersApostrophe · 05/10/2026 02:20

YetAnotherAlias62 · 05/10/2026 00:44

The first time I stayed the night with my boyfriend (we're in our 60s, been together for 2 years now), I woke up about 2am seriously overheating.
He leapt out of bed, got his summer duvet out, swapped it with the winter one we'd been sleeping under, and got back into bed - all within about 3 mins and without turning the light on.
I think that's when I fell in love with him - I do love a capable man 😍😂

The bar is on the floor. I hope he has better qualities than the absolute barest minimum.

Meteorite87 · 05/10/2026 02:27

If it is that much of a mess @DaisyDukes2 he will have to start again from the beginning.