To expect a 50 yr old man to be able to change a duvet cover.

[DaisyDukes2]

As it says on the time really. Any time he changes it (always prompted by me) he manages to put it in the wrong way (super king size duvet so wider than long). He did it again yesterday only this time the duvet cover was inside out too. Asked him to fix it and he faffed around with it but made it worse. I refused to fix it or sleep under it so grabbed a spare duvet and used that myself last night. Today he asked me to fix it because he just can't do it. Too small a hill to die on???

Yes that is a hill I would die on.
My teenager has been doing his since aged 10/11, doesn't always do the best job but I don't have to sleep in it and he could sleep on a bare rock.
My 80 year old dad with mobility issues changes his own bed too. I do actually offer to do my dad's but he does it before I get there.
The more he does it the better he'll get OP. Make it his job from now on.
Let's face it, no-one finds changing the duvet enjoyable and it's not easy for us short women changing a big bed but somehow we manage and it's nothing to do with our chromosomes.

Just do it together. Much easier/faster to change these things in 2 anyway. Me and dh do this together in no time. Makes for an easier life

9 across 8 down, surely 🤪 ?

I'm so glad I don't have to count them any more. I swapped to squares and if two people are in the bed, they get one each.

Awesome. Perhaps you could offer classes to the many women replying in this thread that they also struggle to do the same.

My dyspraxic 8 year old can do it … it’s took weekly teaching and a lot of patience but we’ve got there. Zipped not button or poppers makes it easier for him. But alas he’s 8!

FWIW I’m a wheelchair user and use the burrito method on a super king and manage.

so yeah …. Weaponised incompetence.

47yo woman here and I can’t put a doona/duvet cover on. Not easily anyway. My DH does it. Much easier for him with longer arms, and being taller and stronger to shake the damn thing into place. He’s better at making the bed.

Top sheet and blankets for us, and a doona/duvet only when it’s really cold in winter. No idea how people sleep under a doona in summer when even a top sheet is too hot and will get kicked off in a sweaty mess.

Weaponised incompetence is a human behaviour tied to avoiding undesirable work and shifting the burden onto others, rather than a trait exclusive to one sex.

Women can feign helplessness or lack of knowledge around traditionally "male-coded" tasks, such as home repairs, car maintenance, or handling certain digital and financial admin.

In fairness, taking a duvet cover off one duvet, finding a thicker one in (presumably) the wardrobe, and putting the duvet cover on that duvet in the dark in under three minutes is quite impressive.

I would prefer not to go to work and for someone else to put money in my account. Not going to happen though is it?

Does he ever leave the house with his trousers/shirt/jumper inside out? No? Well then he's being a bit of a twat. Of course he can do it. He just doesn't want to.

(accidentally posted twice)

It’s honestly so easy and saves you shaking the duvet, the cover just slides onto the duvet once it’s unrolled.

Me too

Super king is tricky, we normally treat this as a 2 person job

Thank you for your instruction madame. We are all the wiser for it. 😂

Am I going insane, not sure why people are suggesting you switch to different sets etc....

1. Partner obtains pen.
2. Partner marks the bottom corners with said pen.
3. Bottom of duvet is now clearly marked forevermore.

Done, surely????

I have a SK one. I marked the bottom my my duvet by sewing on a thread of red cotton. The bottom of the duvet cover is where the buttons are, pretty obviously. It can be harder to be certain with a fitted sheets.

I know this isn’t the point but I have a super king size and I’m sure it’s a square!

Maybe I am incompetent to think this but I don’t ask anyone to come back and do it for me (don’t have a partner / spouse to ask but my point is I manage)

But no YANBU! He should be able to do this himself and it’s not too small a hill

FFS. Aren't people allowed to be really bad at one thing in life? I'm rubbish at duvets too (and at many other practical things too).
Unless your DH is incompetent at many things I'd give him a break and do the duvets yourself in future. There are a million other jobs he can take on instead.

My DP is not a team player and could not cope with this. He cannot handle both of us gardening at the same time in case he has to wait a nanosecond for a trowel!

This sort of thing is why I now stick to cats.
They may not be able to change a duvet cover either but they are more loving, more decorative and make a lot less mess.

In his defence I find my superking duvets hard to do aswell. The doubles and kings in the house are no problem. But the superking is hard and I usually wait until someone is about to do it with me!
I

Tbf it was a single, but my DD is 5ft1 and now changes a king. All housekeeping staff are women, as far as ive ever seen. This is not a job that women can't do.

Yes. I’m small so grabbing the corners and shaking never worked well for me with large duvets. But the ‘burrito method’ is fun! When it’s all rolled and done up it looks impossible and then ta da! 😂 I actually enjoy changing the covers now.

100% this.