To expect a 50 yr old man to be able to change a duvet cover.

[DaisyDukes2]

As it says on the time really. Any time he changes it (always prompted by me) he manages to put it in the wrong way (super king size duvet so wider than long). He did it again yesterday only this time the duvet cover was inside out too. Asked him to fix it and he faffed around with it but made it worse. I refused to fix it or sleep under it so grabbed a spare duvet and used that myself last night. Today he asked me to fix it because he just can't do it. Too small a hill to die on???

I need to know this too. It's pot luck for me whether I get it in the right way. I can manage to put it in the cover ok, but it's only after I see how well it has fitted that I know if I've done it correctly. And even then I can't always tell! We have king sized.

Play to your strengths - just make the bed yourself.

Sounds like he’s trying, how would you like it if he humiliates you for something you can’t do.

I must admit I'm like this too and sometimes put the duvet on and realise it's wrong. I have never put a cover on inside out though. I can also fix it if I have put the cover on wrong.

I’m really particulat about my bedding and the overall appearance of the bed. I can’t get a duvet nice. I use quilts or a cover less duvet. I recently brought out and put back into use a quilt from 2007 from Pottery barn and it’s lovely to sleep under. Also purchased a new one from Ballards. They look so nice and smooth and you can put a down coverlet underneath. My duvets were lumpy and I dreaded washing them and putting the duvet back into the cover.

MY DH recently stripped aired out washed dried sheets and remade the bed. He was annoyed when I was annoyed by the top of the sheet being at the foot and the foot being at the top. I have made countless beds with this man and yet he seems unaware the wider finished seam goes to the top of the bed. We have 2 queens and 2 full sized beds. Not hard to make.

Practise makes perfect.

This sounds like such a good idea I’m going to try it, thanks. I find it really difficult visualising stuff but hope it works as I do it!

I’ve tried the basic inside out method but if the cover’s not inside out already I can never be arsed and do the angry stuffing with loads of cover getting in the way and swearing as it inevitably turns into more faff.

It’s a ballache to be sure but I can guarantee that if this was a task set by their boss these men would bloody be able to do it first time and every time since. If they can’t, they need to do it til they get the hang of it. Practise makes perfect!

FFS

I take the same view with beds and cars. If you can’t drive it - don’t and if you can’t make it, don’t sleep in it.

I won’t drive a tank cos our roads and parking spaces are not designed for them and I’m not confident I could manage to change a SuperKing so stick with King (which fits better in most UK houses anyway).

So if he’s sleeping in the bed, he needs to learn to do the duvet.

Because they're horrible to sleep under? You sometimes find them in hotels/other accommodation and I hate them.

We change the duvet cover together because it's much easier as a 2 person job but still have to count the squares (ours is 8 squares across by 9 vertically) to get it the right way around.

Pathetic. Send him a youtube tutorial. I do it inside out and hold the end and shake it in. Far easier.

It’s true of all mine.

I alternate big label at bottom and swap it around to go at the top so everything gets shaken up regularly but duvet is still aligned lengthwise.

Can't you help him change it? Much easier with 2 people. There doesn't need to be a hill.

There is no physical reason.

I’d ask him to imagine himself as a competent adult who has been asked to insert a soft rectangular duvet into a rectangular cloth envelope like case of like proportions, and suggest once he’s completed it successfully he tell me how he managed it. And keep sleeping under the spare duvet until he does.

YANBU to think he needs to learn but if he's really finding it hard you could give him some tips. I do the thing of starting from a corner and holding the edges against each other to check which is the longest. He needs to be the one doing it though (while you instruct) and yes that is a hill to die on otherwise he'll never learn.

Sorry but I laughed so hard. This is the quality mumsnet content I come for.

Tbf we use double duvets which are square and easier. They are the exact size of a king-size mattress with no draping over the edge. (I actually hate it when duvets drape over the edge of the bed and slowly slide away and you have to yank them back with gravity against you. So a double duvet on a kingsize bed is ideal for me)

My duvet has stitched lines and I think they should be run from top to bottom of the bed not width way. Hate doing duvet, only double but a cover less one would not fit in my washer and I seem to get tangled up in blankets, so duvet it is. Oh to be a bit taller with longer arms

Ive seen a video of it and I still cant comprehend it!!😆

This. Tell him there is a marvellous source of help at his fingertips (assuming he has access to the internet) and practice makes perfect

This would infuriate me too, but then I find things like this logical and easy. There are many things I'm terrible at though.

I think its worth saying I know many couples where the man does all the driving on holiday because the woman finds this difficult. I find it easy so don't understand this. In fact the presumption that men are better at this is widespread because most people especially women are surprised when I say I do most of the driving if we hire a car abroad. I have never one heard a man accuse his partner of weaponised incompetence in this context, there seems to be a general acceptance that she is simply not good at this or not comfortable. Not everything is a battle of the sexes.

I think people jump to weaponised incompetence but it depends if it’s everything or just this one thing- there are some things I will never ever ever be able to do no matter how often show me. Question is has someone always done it for him or is he at a ‘thank god I found her and she can do this godawful thing for me!’ point😅

Maybe he has dyspraxia.

We used to do the square counting too but a couple of years ago I got a sharpie and wrote top ⬆️ at the top edge of the duvet - OMG revolutionary! I'd also had a superking bed for at least 15 years before I realised that superking duvets and duvet covers are made so the longest edge goes ACROSS the bed not top to bottom. Since figuring that out and sharpieing the duvet, never an issue!
I don't put up with weaponised incompetence. If the kids try it (doing the dishwasher badly or whatever) they get to do it more because they must need the practice...

Get a coverless duvet. Problem solved. I dont have the time or energy to wrestle with duvet covers.

If it's just duvet covers and he's competent in other areas (including, possibly, things that OP is not so good at), then why not just do it with him, or take over bed making?

I have a strong suspicion that left to himself the duvet would be left the "wrong" way round or inside out, neither of which really matter in the scheme of things.

It's because he's not bothered about it being inside out. My DP does it, also on purpose.