To expect a 50 yr old man to be able to change a duvet cover.

[DaisyDukes2]

As it says on the time really. Any time he changes it (always prompted by me) he manages to put it in the wrong way (super king size duvet so wider than long). He did it again yesterday only this time the duvet cover was inside out too. Asked him to fix it and he faffed around with it but made it worse. I refused to fix it or sleep under it so grabbed a spare duvet and used that myself last night. Today he asked me to fix it because he just can't do it. Too small a hill to die on???

quite

Some of us (women) manage better than others admittedly, but somehow it's not optional for us and we still manage! No one is stopping him from marking one side to know which way it is or something.

Having a penis seems to be great to achieve top levels in sport, research, politics etc.. , can't see how that prevent you from putting a duvet properly?

Does he know how unattractive being useless can be? How do they think you can fancy someone who is just pathetic?

@HildaGribblethwaiteLives “Bloody hell. "Weaponised incompetence" "Take him to be assessed for dementia" etc etc.”

Plenty of women seem to use “weaponised incompetence” as well by pretending they are unable to handle car maintenance, do home repairs, mow the lawn, answer the front door at night, or put the bins out.

It's the patriarchy that makes them achieve great heights in politics and business, not necessarily skill.

😂😂😂😂😂🤣👏

He could do it if he CBA but just doesn't care that it's inside out, presumably. You do. Therefore I think you're wasting your time. I would do it myself or do it with him (quicker and easier) with you issuing instructions, and get him to do other stuff.

My DH doesn't care either, so I do it. OTOH I don't care about dirt in the shower because I can't see it when I'm in there (too short-sighted) and I don't look when I'm not. DH, however, does/can, so he cleans it. He's never asked me to do it.

He can do it.

He doesn’t want to do it. Hence him doing a deliberately shit job in the hope you will just take over.

My DP said, 'it's fine as it is' when I pointed out it's inside out as he doesn't care, so there is no mileage in asking him to do it properly.

I use clothes pegs to anchor the corners.

For doubles, I mark the duvets with a permanent Sharpie so I know which are the shorter ends.

If you choose duvets covers that are a different pattern underneath, I find this makes it easier to locate the corners and avoid the cover twisting as you put it on.

Moving any cats out of the room first is essential.

On the subject of potential cognitive decline, don't assume that cognitive decline is always a sign of Alzheimer's. People who have had multiple strokes (some of which may have been "silent" strokes which went uninvestigated) may begin to show subtle signs of decline in executive function, fine motor control and struggling to carry out a task they were previously able to perform without thinking about it, due to cerebrovascular disease or slowly developing vascular Parkinsonism. Repeated Covid infections can also affect cognitive function.

a lot of husbands I know don’t do anything at all at home and never have done. They however are very happy to pay someone other than their wife to do it! Personally I don’t think it’s a hill to die on.

He doesnt WANT to do these things end of.

Presumably he holds down a job and doesn’t have any cognitive impairments? Then he absolutely can do this.

My DH is much quicker at changing the duvet cover than me. He is ‘self taught’ from Anthea Turner. Maybe send him this video:

Just like women don’t want to do certain jobs!

I'm a bit like him in that I'm appalling at doing duvet covers. I've taken to putting singles in the wash with their covers on! I think that's more laziness though? But I do have ADD and I think mild dyspraxia. I need another person ideally to help do a double one. There needs to be a prominent label or something to show which end is the right one if they're not square!

Let him fix it himself. It will improve his self-esteem to fix his own problems.

but then at least you ask, like an adult, not make a mess for the sake of making a point like a sulky child. It's pathetic.

I spent over an hour yesterday sorting out the airing cupboard into sections and writing onto the shelf edges with a marker pen.

DH was most pissed off when he realised that he couldn't play the "oh but I can't find the right size bedding" trick when it comes to changing his bed in the spare room. I am fed up to the back teeth of his feigned incompetence.

that's fine, if they get it done one way or another.

How many of us have cleaners/ window cleaners/ gardeners/ get car washed/ shopping delivered etc..

It's expecting your wife to do everything and being childish about it that's cringey.

Get him* a set of 4 giant plastic clothes pegs, the sort people use on the beach to stop their towels blowing away.
Mine cost about £3.50 from Amazon. Game changer! With those I can quickly change a superking on my own.

*or rather, tell him to get himself a set.

It’s better if you do up the buttons or zip once you’ve got it rolled up IME. The video I found was better because it did that and also had a dachshund supervising. (I tried to find it but of course ended up watching clips of dachshunds burritoing themselves in bedding😁)

Ask him if his penis is getting in the way of changing the duvet cover?

Large clipits work too, that’s what I used to use before I found the burrito method.

I have been running a house since my twenties. I can do most things, including simple wiring and plumbing.
I would not be capable of the task described! I have to have help with even a double duvet cover. I can manage a single.

Myownsummer “There's nothing about having boob's that makes putting on a duvet cover easier.”
😀so true!

Women play ‘helpless’ too. It’s not just the male species!

Best tip learned ages ago on MN, was to stuff all the bedding (duvet cover, bottom sheet, pillowcases except one) for each bed, into the last pillow case.

For me, with a too small and totally inadequate airing cupboard, this was a game changer. No more rummaging about trying to find everything….

Needless to say, I’m not the sort of person who irons any bedding!