Upset DP didn’t get off train with me

[Trainissue]

Long time lurker and finally had cause to post here myself.

I went to a nearby city with my DP yesterday where we had some drinks and dinner. We travelled by train and had planned to have a drink and watch some live music when we arrived home at the pub opposite the station.

I suffer from some stomach issues which unfortunately flared up on the way home. There was an announcement on boarding that the toilets were out of use (no idea why, people were not happy and were just told of complaints procedure).

About 20 minutes from home, I told DP I’d need to get off at the next station to use the loo to avoid an accident. He just said he was sure I could hold on. No chance, I said the trains are quite regular so we could catch the next one about 15 minutes later.

He said he’d go on to the pub and meet me there. So I got off on my own and waited for the next train. It was quite late, dark and lots of drunk people around so it was somewhat uncomfortable.

I did board the next train after about 20 minutes waiting but there’s no guarantee this wouldn’t have been late or cancelled. I really think DP should have got off with me.

YABU - he was right to stay on the train
YANBU - he should have gone with you

No way would my husband leave me. I’d be hurt if he did.

he's not a keeper

🚩🚩he’s a cockwomble! I’d have got on the next train and taken it straight home!!

I'd be absolutely furious with him for leaving you

He didn’t get off a train with his sick partner so she could use the toilet and then travel together at night when it would have meant a delay of 15 minutes?! What a prick!

He is showing that he does not really care about you I’m sorry to say

I'd have been quite comfortable doing the journey alone, but I would have expected him to stay with me, just as I'd have stayed with him.

He’s not even meeting the bare minimum of being allowed to be in a relationship with me. Dump him, he’s not a good guy.

He prioritised alcohol over you (and your safety) op

Erm, my husband is by NO means perfect but I’m confident he would never do this to me, OP. That’s not okay! You were spending the evening together, he obviously should have gotten off with you. What happened when you met him at the pub after?

Yes. Why did you follow him, op?!

Yeah, that’s out of order. I couldn’t think of anyone I wouldn’t get off the train with in that situation, whether a partner, family member, friend or even colleague. What a knob!

I definitely don’t agree with what he did.

However, you made out like it was only 15 mins for next train to suggest he was unreasonable but when you were by yourself, you said there was no guarantees it wouldn’t be cancelled or late? Both can’t be true.

He isn’t your partner. That’s not how a team behave.
My boyfriend goes out of his way to make sure I’m not walking through the city he lives in alone, or if we’re going opposite ways after a day out then he’ll make sure I’m not waiting around on my own on a platform. If he has a train in 5 minutes, but mine is 15 minutes, then he’ll skip his, wait with me and get his next one after mine.

Your guy just showed you that he doesn’t have that caring side. Up to you what you do with that info.

He’s not a gentleman.

Of course, I would find it really weird if DH left me while I felt unwell

Both are true. The most likely outcome was he’d be waiting 15/20 minutes for the next train, not massively put out. But there is always the possibility of delays or cancellations, which means she’d have been left alone. He should have been with her so they’d wait together if that happened.

He just didn’t give a shit.

He made a joke, can’t remember what it was but something like ‘do you feel lighter now’ and I sarcastically thanked him for checking if I got here okay. We only stayed for a drink before going home.

Unacceptable, op. Expect better, but you probably won’t get it from this one.
Do you live together?

Oh hell no! I’d even get off the train if a friend was sick let alone partner! What was the big rush for him? I bet there was some sport on the pub screens he wanted to see? Were you meeting somebody else in the pub too and he didn’t want them to be waiting? Even if so he still should have got off with you!

this. I'm quite capable of doing this alone, but we were out together. id have hot Hoff with your even as your mate, cos we're out together, let alone as your partner. friend and I wedndtx out recently, I could have got a quicker, earlier train home or I could catch a later one with her (think direct Vs all the local stops). I waited, no question about it, cos we were out together.

I’m horrified. He really isn’t a keeper.

Not in a million years would my DH leave me like that even in the middle of the day. Certainly not a train station in the middle of the night.

I'd probably head straight home and let him panic I'd been kidnapped or something.

Exactly what I’d have done

Yes I would be annoyed about that. Not considerate of you.