Upset DP didn’t get off train with me

[Trainissue]

Long time lurker and finally had cause to post here myself.

I went to a nearby city with my DP yesterday where we had some drinks and dinner. We travelled by train and had planned to have a drink and watch some live music when we arrived home at the pub opposite the station.

I suffer from some stomach issues which unfortunately flared up on the way home. There was an announcement on boarding that the toilets were out of use (no idea why, people were not happy and were just told of complaints procedure).

About 20 minutes from home, I told DP I’d need to get off at the next station to use the loo to avoid an accident. He just said he was sure I could hold on. No chance, I said the trains are quite regular so we could catch the next one about 15 minutes later.

He said he’d go on to the pub and meet me there. So I got off on my own and waited for the next train. It was quite late, dark and lots of drunk people around so it was somewhat uncomfortable.

I did board the next train after about 20 minutes waiting but there’s no guarantee this wouldn’t have been late or cancelled. I really think DP should have got off with me.

YABU - he was right to stay on the train
YANBU - he should have gone with you

This.

As always when a bizarre proposition is introduced, I assume projection. Genuinely.

So anyway, how many times a week does boyfriend's life revolve around OP shitting. That's the important question.

My last mistake would've done this. I am avoiding further mistakes by being totally, utterly and unmistakably single.

what a prick!!!! I would have gone home. He definitely doesn’t care much about you or your safety.

Even an acquaintance would get off and wait with you

Never mind a 'd' p

When people show you who they are believe them … a lesson I’ve had to learn many a time and wish I’d learned it earlier… this is who he is OP

He obviously prioritised drink and not being bored over being considerate towards you 🥺 what a guy .

Hes an absolute prick minimising the issue so if you continue to be upset you’re the one with the problem, making it into a big deal. I’m sorry but the fact it was at night when the pissheads are lurking about and leaving you on your own in those specific circumstances regarding your health - he doesn’t care about you. I’d end it.

The fact he won’t acknowledge your discomfort or that he did anything wrong makes me think it’s not a question of if he’ll let you down again, but when. Don’t give him the opportunity.

You are making a fair point, but by using coarse language it comes across as though you are trying to belittle the op.

Gotta play the victim angle when required 😂

It is simply commonplace, down to earth language, and its intention is to prevent the OP from elevating her stomach problems to some higher level of required caregiving, and bring her back down to earth.

She is literally simply shitting, there is nothing anybody can do to help her, and it will get very old, very fast if her boyfriend is supposed to stand around outside random toilets while she has explosive diarrhoea every time they go out.

I'd never choose a DP who did not care for my well being out late at night.

I am a grown woman I dont need feel I need a chaperone everywhere I go even at night

Fck, I really miss the laugh emoji, so I can react in secret 🤭.

My partner would be probably be annoyed but he’d still get off the train with me. Have you confronted him about this? My partner often thinks nothing would ever happen to me that I don’t need protecting and stuff but given your circumstance and that it was late he should have really come with you.

What a fucking twat.

Whats your reaction to that OP? How are you feeling and have you expressed that to him?

Does he have a selfish disposition generally?

I am sorry but you really cannot.see the difference between not getting off the train and being with the op in this particular circumstance compared to other circumstances?

Everyone talking about how, annoying it can be to deal with someone else's bowel problems, are missing the point. Of course it can be annoying if it happens a lot when you are trying to do things and get on with other stuff or taking children out etc.

BUT the op and her bf were on a date, just the two of them, the whole point of which is to spend spend time together to (re)connect to appreciate each other. If op does have bowel problems often and the bf is fed up and annoyed rather than enjoying the date, he may not be acting completely unreasonably but their relationship is in trouble nonetheless. If op doesn't often have stomach problems his behavior makes him an arsehole.

Either way, the op should seriously reconsider her relationship

This.

So, he:

• Says you can hold on;
• Doesn’t get off the train;
• Leaves you to navigate the station with drunks around and feeling uncomfortable (whilst he’s in the pub);
• Makes a crass are you feeling lighter quip;
• When it’s brought up he comes out with a dismissive well he can trust you to navigate the toilet and station.

His behaviour is showing you what he really thinks of you OP.

He’s no catch and an oaf. Throw him back.

He was being selfish as he didn’t want to get off and wait for the next train.

in most relationships the adage you “never leave a man down” is what comes into play, im very confident my husband would have got off with me and I would with him too, we may have been a bit annoyed at the situation, inside our heads thinking ffs but not blaming the other, or saying anything, but we would have got off,

as said, he was simply being selfish.

That’s rubbish of him, my husband wouldn’t of let me get off in broad daylight alone and find my own way to him let alone in the night time

To me, that would feel like a punishment, as if he was punishing you for inconveniencing him by having a medical issue. Does he lack empathy in other ways?

What a prince...

You were potentially unwell and he chose to leave you on your own just so he could get to the pub early.

Get rid of him.

I'm very much independant, I can do it, type of person, but DH would have insisted on getting off with me and ensuring I was ok.

He’s a fucking sarky bastard. Is he decent in other ways as otherwise he sounds like someone you’d be better off without?