Upset DP didn’t get off train with me

[Trainissue]

Long time lurker and finally had cause to post here myself.

I went to a nearby city with my DP yesterday where we had some drinks and dinner. We travelled by train and had planned to have a drink and watch some live music when we arrived home at the pub opposite the station.

I suffer from some stomach issues which unfortunately flared up on the way home. There was an announcement on boarding that the toilets were out of use (no idea why, people were not happy and were just told of complaints procedure).

About 20 minutes from home, I told DP I’d need to get off at the next station to use the loo to avoid an accident. He just said he was sure I could hold on. No chance, I said the trains are quite regular so we could catch the next one about 15 minutes later.

He said he’d go on to the pub and meet me there. So I got off on my own and waited for the next train. It was quite late, dark and lots of drunk people around so it was somewhat uncomfortable.

I did board the next train after about 20 minutes waiting but there’s no guarantee this wouldn’t have been late or cancelled. I really think DP should have got off with me.

YABU - he was right to stay on the train
YANBU - he should have gone with you

She didnt feel unwell. She needed the toilet. Theres a difference

I don't have IBS but I would venture to say - from what I have heard - it can be similar to being unwell (as in diarrhoea)

My H would have stayed with me - in fact even on our first date I’m sure he would have got off the train.
I would have got off the train with him too.
Selfish and uncaring sums up your partner - does he really really love you? That’s what I’d be wondering.

He guts were upset by something she had recently eaten. Of course she felt unwell.

Let us know when you've kicked him into touch.

I’m so sorry that you’ve discovered his true colours OP, how horrible. I will say that, every so often, the universe opens a window, giving us a little more insight into our future. Last night, it cracked the window open just enough for you to see what this man is really like.

It’s up to you whether you do anything with this knowledge, but do be comforted by the thought that someone up there has your back and is giving you the chance to make a change.

Does this happen often to you? It would be annoying for your partner if you regularly had stomach issues that put a spanner in the works.and if it was something self inflicted eg eating something you know you may react badly to. This is the only reason that I can think of that a normal person would do this to a woman.

What a nasty person you sound.

I have IBS and am severely gluten intolerant, I have severe athritis in my spine and knees, plus a heart condition I am not prepared to discuss with a nasty stranger, and a number of other less critical ailments - all of these are true things and anyone who believes I am lying is showing their own predilection to immediately lie which has nothing to do with me.

None of which I mentioned in my previous comments because, unlike you, I am capable of formulating an argument without getting making it all about me.

Not sure why the scare quotes, not a word I used and besides it is certainly inconvenient to have to stand around outside a shitter if someone demands it.

Unlike some, however, I accept that I just have to get on with life without being over entitled, demanding and precious and it is not in my nature to be an absolute pain in the arse (pun not intended) about the parts of my disabilities that nobody can help me with - such as wiping my own arse, or making them stand around outside a shitter waiting for me instead of them having a nice time.

If OP is inflicting her desire to have someone stand outside a shitter waiting for her every time they go out, she will soon wear out everyone's goodwill and this shows a severe lack of empathy, compassion and care on OPs part and a deep sense of entitlement and selfishness on OPs part.

Really, she shouldn't be expecting it at all, a normal, caring person would be happy tgat her boyfriend is healthy and want him to have a nice time, considering nothing he does can help her anyway and she is a grown adult who can catch a train on her own quite easily.

But, as I said, if it's once a month he could have been more considerate. If it's twice a week she will soon find herself avoided.

Learn to think before you flap your gums. And I do wish on just precisely what you deserve in life. Hint - it won't be good.

Enjoy.

What I always find hilarious about mumsnetters is how they use this one (incomplete) story to decide that the husband does not care about the wife and defined their entire relationship 😂.

Yes, it happened. It is a bit annoying. But you probably know if this is his usual behaviour or not. We all slip up from time to time. This might have been his turn. I am sure you have slipped up in his eyes too at times. Life is too short for petty things like this. If he has been a good partner in other ways, tell him how you feel and move on. Mumsnetters will seek some crazy mental gymnastics to have you get a divorce 😂

What is he like otherwise? You say partner not husband so is he a new boyfriend or someone you have lived with for 10 years? This is very odd behavour. If recent boyfriend I would feel he wasn’t that interested in me and would probably end things

I'd absolutely flame him. What a d.

I would have switched my phone off, gone straight home and let the selfish bastard sweat overnight!

That be cutting off her nose to spite her face.

Sat at home while he gets to go to the pub