How bad is it for a 14 yo not to say hello to someone when they walk into the house?

[ChargingCharging]

14 yo walks into house with me after school. I go into living room and say loudly ‘hello’ to another household member who is in the living room. Teenager is in hall way at this point hanging up his bag etc.
Teen walks upstairs to get changed for an afterschool activity and doesn’t pop his head around the door to say hello.
Teen has a habit of not acknowledging people - even when he walks right past them and it is something that has been drummed into him that it is basic politeness to say hello if you pass someone for the first time that day, or when you get back, or if you go into a room and they’re there.

YABU - it’s rude and unacceptable not to pop head in to say hello when it’s clear someone’s in there as I’m talking to them.

YANBU - it’s not rude since he wasn’t in the room and was distracted with what he was doing.

It is rude but if they've been at school all day and are knackered, might be a case of choosing your battles. My 14 year old has her moments too.

Is the other household member someone the 14yo isn’t keen on or related to?

Very rude.

I suppose you’ve forgotten what it‘s like to be 14.

I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be 14 at all. I deliberately haven’t put my own view into this because I want to hear what’s others think.

Yes it’s rude. My SIL used to do this when her and DB were living with us and it really used to wind me up.

But she’s 14. Tell her it’s rude, but I wouldn’t start a major incident over it.

Why didn't the person who was home shout out and greet the 14yo?

I worked with someone like this, every other person there thought they were rude, its so basic of a manner and really does hold value out in the world

A visitor or another member of the household? The former I think a quick hello would be polite, a member of the house the teenager was getting changed to go back out again I'm sure they would've spoken to the person before leaving

Who was the other person?

My 14 year old would probably wouldn't have even noticed there was someone else in the house and just got on with sorting out school stuff and getting changed and said hello once they were back downstairs.

Yes, it’s rude, and it’s obviously not been drummed into them because they’re 14 and still doing it.

I am a stickler for manners, but if it was a case of child going up to use loo, change, come back down then acknowledge rest of household then I wouldn't be bothered by this.

If the 14yr old has form for rudeness and blanking other members of the house then yes, it needs addressing. Unless the child has their reasons, which could be a partner they don't like..

Sounds like they were just going through their routine of 'after school' - if they weren't even in the room I don't think it's odd not to say hello. Different if they WERE in the room and ignoring someone, but they weren't. Sometimes kids need time to decompress. In an ideal world they would have hung up their bag, changed out of the uniform, got themselves a drink and then come in for a couple of minutes to say hello.

Completely depends who it is. Is it his dad? I’m worried the results of this are going to be used to get a kid in trouble. If my husband came in with one of the kids and they just ran straight up to get ready for something, I wouldn’t be bothered. I’d just catch them on the way out to say hi and ask how they were then.

Ok, thus far it’s coming down on the rude side. It’s unlikely teen would have gone in to say hello before leaving. This is a very useful exercise for me to get perspective from others voices. I very much appreciate it

Nah it’s not rude. It’s normal. And all teens are different anyway so some may skip into the living room and embrace said guest and others may not even notice they are there.

My own teen gets home and flops on the sofa and is largely uncommunicative until about half hour later. I’ve given up asking how her day is until then.

it's rude to blank people when you see them, but not necessarily rude to not go to find them to say hello if you're doing a quick in and out. If greeting each other is so important in your family, the person in the front room should have got up to greet you both too.

My 15yo is like this - comes in with face like tripe, goes upstairs, reappears later in more social mood. If there was a visitor, he would stick his head in the door and say hi, then disappear.
Edited to say, literally the one word "hi"

I don't think it's a big deal and I'd guess a lot of 14yos are the same. People should be able to be themselves at home and get on with what they need to do.

It’s fairly standard for a 14 year old. They grow out of it.

It's slightly rude but really not something I would get upset or annoyed about with a 14yo.

So does this person live with you and teen?
do they like them?
what’s the relationship?

Did the 14 yo know the other person was there?

I’d find this pretty normal tbh - if 14 didn’t respond to someone who spoke to them that is different, but to respond “hello” then carry on upstairs seems pretty normal.

Wouldn’t bother me. Sometimes I don’t feel like being sociable either, after a day at work. I would say hello because I’m an adult, but Imwouldn’t force a kid to do it.

It's very rude imo. It's ten seconds saying hello before they can go off and be a miserable sod upstairs.