AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

[Littlek0406]

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

Just seen where it is, Concert Square will still be heaving. My cousin’s DH works that area as a police officer. Said it is the same as everywhere else in the city centre.

i get she is your daughter OP, so you’re worried but the risk is greatly reduced by her not being off her face, like a lot of the people.

@Livpool She’s working not getting off her face!

Re read her comment.
She says because your DD won't be drunk (implicitly because she's on her way home from work, not a night out) she will be at less risk than all the other people there who are drunk

Exactly what @Livpoolsaid, then 😂

@Littlek0406 I would ring a local taxi firm and arrange for a female driver to collect her, and make it a permanent regular booking if you know the shifts she works.

I get that you’re worried but she’s 18. If she were working in any other bar she’d be expected to find a way home. That’s how the world works. You have to let her grow up sometime. If she really doesn’t like it she’ll need to find another job with suitable hours

You should have had this conversation before the daughter took the job if it was going to bother you. You suspiciously refuse to divide where the aunt lives in relation to where your daughter lives and his much ball ache it is to take your daughter home. You also need to face take fact that the aunt can't just lock up and go as soon as it hits 2am and your daughter likely doesn't want to wait around.

I question whether the aunt is always on that late shift with your daughter or you expect her to drive to work at that hour just to pick her up and drive her home?

Nepotism isn't a nice thing in the workplace either and what you have to think about is what happens if something happens to another member of staff going home one day and then it gets thrown in the aunts face that she takes her niece home but leaves everyone else to get themselves home.

For the “bosses should pay for taxis” crowd - do you think the public sector workers should also have taxis paid for? Medical staff and police often start / end shifts when public transport isn’t available.

I personally think adults should be responsible for their own commuting and I particularly can’t bear the idea that women are too stupid to do this and need extra protection.

Why can't see ask other staff to share a cab or gift her a lift home for petrol contribution? Why do you think she's entitled to a lift just because she's related to the boss

She’s a member of staff not her niece when at work. So she needs to sort herself getting home

Do you want the aunt to take just your daughter home, or all of the staff?

op - do you understand now how completely meaningless it is to say ‘I would if I could’ about something you firstly have zero idea if you would or not, having never been in the situation; and secondly can never offer?

also, I think when you sent out on a rant as you have done, I always think it’s wise to think through to the end result of your wants. If you get what you want and the auntie goes out of her way at 3am to lift your dd home; then the end result is your auntie realising it would be easier to get a different employee who doesn’t require a lift home. There is currently no shortage of 18 year olds anywhere in the UK looking for unskilled work. She could replace your dd in a heartbeat. So she has actually been really kind giving your dd a job.

You can't say: I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

When you can't drive! (No shade, my friend also cannot drive due to epilepsy.)

But it's bizarre to say you would do something if the situation was reversed when you physically cannot do it. Why say that? Meaningless.

So you’re saying that you wouldn’t expect your SIL to drive all her employees home at 3 am, just your daughter? And who is closing up the pub, doing the normal end of night tasks? One of the other employees who’s not getting a lift home from your SIL?

Doesn’t answer the question.

She already said she used to drive.

Presumably just the person who is family. If you are suggesting the Aunt treats her niece exactly the same way as every other member of staff, I’d say that’s unlikely.

It answers it very concisely.

You just aren't happy with the answer.

After just turning 18 I was living away from home at university working late in bars, as are thousands of other 18 years olds. We didn't have Mummy finding us jobs and expecting others to get us home.

When you say ‘family is family’ op, does this go both ways? Or just in your direction? You want a weekly lift which will take X amount of time for your exsil. So do you allocate the same X amount of time to helping her out on a weekly basis with something you can do?

I would be worried about this too as a fellow scouser op.
Defo dodgy around Concert Square at 3am.

Oh, well this was years ago. The club I worked in ended at 2am then clearing up. I had to get a cab home or walk.

Sorry @Livpool 🙄

I think you have misunderstood what I said then, or I said it wrong. I know she is working.

No worries!