AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

[Littlek0406]

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

That clearly doesn’t work in that scenario, but in a city centre bar which people are describing it as, I’m guessing there are more staff than just the two of them.

I was thinking more of my dd situation tbh, I don’t know the area in this case and maybe walking up to the taxi is perfectly safe as pp are saying

How about Auntie will walk up to her uber ? A compromise, after a long day for both .

I think we need more details here. If auntie is leaving at the same time and driving home somewhat near you, it would be reasonable to hope for / expect a lift. But it would be a very different matter if auntie hasn't finished work by then, or has to travel in a different direction.

How does your dd feel - does she feel unsafe going to get an Uber? why / anything to change that?

Why did your dd take on this job if getting home via taxi at 3am is a problem?

Plus you say it's her Aunts pub - you do realise that there are jobs that the Aunt has to do when the last customer and staff have left don't you? She won't be going straight to bed!!

You say family should look out for each other - but you're not looking out for the Aunt are you!

So the aunt walks her up to the Uber because a woman apparently shouldn't be walking up to her Uber alone.

So who walks the aunt back to the pub or her car, if a woman shouldn't be walking alone?

Is the DD at genuine risk or not? Is this a risk that is so high to the point that it does need to be accounted for and planned for as to not leave her alone or not?

My sister would absolutely do this for my daughter. I’d do it for my nephew, even though he is 30. I find it strange that an auntie wouldn’t. All of these “she’s 18” “what if she worked somewhere else” comments are ridiculous. When did it become problematic to say family should help out family?

Well there is that …..

When did it become problematic to say family should help out family?

As soon as the family member takes the piss and accepts a job without so much as checking with the driver if they're happy to give them a lift home.

we can agree to disagree, I think it’s gentlemanly and a great credit to him

this is a girl who likes to be looked after, and my boy has always been a carer
so they work

I agree with tou, if we meet our niece in city we always walk her home even at 9.00. I just want to know she safe and she’s 30 ! She laughs at us but it makes me feel better so yes aunty should be either walking/waiting on uber with her or taking her home. When i worked in a bar the owner slways dropped us home after shift when he locked up.

Concert Square is awful. I would not be happy for my Daughter or Son to be walking alone around there at 3am.

Whose compromise?

O/p hasn’t said if it’s out the aunts way though.

an extra 5 minutes on my drive every night, fine.

if I have to go 20 mins out my way that’s 40 mins at 3am, so I’m not getting home until much later.

it’s also multiple times a week, so I might not mind getting home late once a week, but adding an extra hour to my shift every time?

o/p also hasn’t said whether the aunt finishes at the same time. If she has to stay and lock up, if the dd has to wait the aunt may think it’s better for her to get a cab than wait for a lift.

it’s not as simple as “oh I’d do it for a niece”. At 3 am it may be easier for everyone to make their own way home.

also the niece is 18 and should be at least learning to drive. Again I might do it as a temporary arrangement if she hasn’t passed her test yet, but if she’s not even learning I don’t want to be a taxi, even for family. Someone who doesn’t drive needs to find their own travel arrangements.

This is pretty much irrelevant in context, as I imagine your DD or DS would be smart enough to ensure they had a lift home, before accepting a job working in a bar until 3am.

Where does aunty live

No, she's working in one of the busiest areas of the city, popular with students, 3am closing for that area is fairly early, she will be walking down a busy street with venues that close at 4, 5 and even 6am, security staff manning the doors to all of these places, not some lonely deserted backs streets .

Op, is the issue your DD walking through the city centre at 3am, or catching an Uber alone at 3am? Either way I don't see the risk as being any higher than doing either of those things at 3pm in the afternoon

she should get an Uber account to get home. We don’t live far from where DCs work but the staff carpark often gets cars blocked in which rather negates the driving home so we set an alarm to get them.

Thank you for this succinct answer

Why would you assume that the pub owner would stop working to drive anyone anywhere? Did you ask if this would be possible in advance? It doesn't matter if you're family. It's unreasonable to assume a taxi service home is part of an employment package! You're very entitled! I'm assuming the pub owner was doing your kid a favour by employing her. Now you want another favour? Where's the gratitude?

By giving her the job, she was looking out for family. That was kind of her. To give her a lift home, is quite another thing unless you live very close by and they always finish at the same time. I'm guessing, if this was the case, though, the lifts would already be happeneing...
How far away does she live?

@Shinyandnew1
I pay for Uber so I don’t know where you get the idea from that Auntie has to pay for the taxis!

@Passaggressfedup
No, she does not,

I’m not entitled and not a cheeky fucker and to do wait up for her weekend, I couldn’t go to sleep if my daughter wasn’t in!

Again, thank you for all your responses. Have a lovely sunny Sunday.

Why dont you get the cab to the pub, wait for her and come back together?

Presumably she’s being paid the going rate, so should make her own travel arrangements like any other employee.

The exception might be if she agrees to work another shift her auntie can’t find anyone else to do (I.e. New Year’s Eve). Then I’d expect some concession on transport home.