AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

[Littlek0406]

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

Walk up where? Can she not get an uber directly from the pub? How would she get home if she was on a night out? At 18 she is an adult and should be capable of getting herself home really

Is she getting a proper wage for this job? Maybe her auntie has other things to do when the pub shuts. Usually in a pub, a lot of the staff go home ten of fifteen minutes after closing but there is still a lot of work to be done that somebody has to do.

Why does your dd have to walk to get an uber? Can’t it come right to the pub?

Was there an arrangement that lifts home would be given?

She is 18 you can't expect anything

Why can’t she just get an uber at the end of her shift? Unless the aunty was driving passed your house on her way home I wouldn’t expect her to give a lift.

Her aunt is not responsible for her being unable to drive, and yet choosing to do a job with a late finish in the middle of a busy city centre.

Why does being divorced mean you can't have a conversation with her aunt though?

Not that I think you should have a conversation as you'd come across as a CF in my opinion.

If it’s her aunt’s pub presumably she’s still working even after your daughter has finished!

If you are that concerned, you need to go and get her yourself.

Where does she have to walk to to get the Uber?
Can she not book one to come to the door of the pub?

If your DD worked in any other bar she'd be expected to get herself home. Why should it be any different just because her aunt runs/owns the place.

She could order a cab from the venue itself.

She might find another job if she can't travel home?

So she has a job at her auntie’s pub? Or is she going there to drink?

is her way home on aunties way or does it add a significant time on her journey?

doesn’t your dd drive?

All the pubs worked in had staff taxis for those who didn't drive. Usually, there'd be 2 taxis booked at the end of each night, and staff would arrange for themselves who got in which taxi based on where they lived.

Does the aunt not offer this? It's very unusual for a pub, ime.

@FeelingALittleWoozyHere
No, it’s blocked off it’s square to anybody but the police.
It’s not about that I was expecting her to just give her a lift, I would give her daughter a lift without question.

My kids have worked in pubs, still do, never heard of that.

OP - if she wasn't working with her auntie, who would you be expecting to take her home?

My kids passed their driving test as soon as they could so that they could do this for themselves.

But where is your daughter's responsibility to get herself home from the job she's chosen to do, knowing the time she'll be finishing?

we’re all assuming she’s working there @Littlek0406 , but you haven’t actually said if she is?

if she’s going socially then that’s definitely not her aunts responsibility.

Then give your own daughter a lift home without question too.

How strange that you think it's unusual not to offer this???

In all my 57 years (and many of them working in pubs) I have literally never come across it.

Do you live very rurally?

That's a good point.

Why are you not giving your daughter a lift home?

Do you also expect her to give lifts to every employee? If not, why not? Why is it one rule for your daughter and not the others?

You expect the aunt to give her a lift home because you would for her child without question... then why aren't you collecting your own child 'without question'! She's not a slave, she's being paid. I worked in a pub at 18 around my studies and it was no one else's responsibility to get me home - I drove.

Totally get where you’re coming friend.
yes your daughter is 18. But that’s still a very young adult, I’d be fearful fir my daughter making her own way home at that time from
anywhere ( and she drives) so I too would want aunt to help with this tbh because families should look out for one another

No, in a town. I worked in a couple of pubs, and they both offered this, as did the social club my sister worked in. I just assumed it was the done thing.

Although now I've thought about it, I do recall working in a wine bar in Manchester city center and walking home from there. I can't remember if there was a staff taxi and I didn't use it through choice, or if it wasn't offered. A homeless lady I once bought a Big Issue from used to insist on walking me to the end of the street, which was both sweet and annoying, as I enjoyed the walk and time alone to decompress after a busy shift.

'Families should look out for one another'.

So why is the OP not looking out for her own daughter?

Passing the responsibility onto someone else, is cheeky fuckery in the extreme.

Surely it would then mean auntie would need to drop every member off staff off. Not fair to single out her niece for a life surely ?