AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

[Littlek0406]

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

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My DD can’t drive, I can’t drive because I’ve got Epilepsy.

She gets given her shifts by Auntie she doesn’t choose them shift.

She wouldn’t mind staying on I’m getting a lift to my auntie.

We were just under the illusion that her auntie would give her a lift home, as I would for her daughter if I drove.

And I don’t understand what CF means, but I’m thinking it’s not a nice thing to say.

If you don’t drive, and don’t work to 3am then you can hardly say what you would do if the tables were turned as it’s all hypothetical!

when she is at work then it’s not her Aunty, it’s her boss. Don’t blur the lines!

CF means cheeky fucker.

I'm sorry but it's easy to say you'd give her daughter a lift when you don't drive.

And why were you both 'under the illusion' she'd get a lift home?

Surely when accepting the job in the first place she would've discussed this?

yabu to expect auntie to give her a lift home from every single late shift it’s likely not practical and you can’t say what you would do in this situation, as it’s just theoretical.
if your daughter doesn’t want to uber home she should start applying for different jobs that aren’t late shift.

I think the fact that her boss is her Aunt is a red herring. She's an 18 year old with a job and should be treated the same as anyone else who works there.

Your sister or sister in law has given your 18 summer work (extremely difficult to get) and is presumably giving her valuable bar training.

You should be grateful and your DD should get an uber.

If you make it difficult for the auntie to employ your DD it’s really really easy for her to employ someone else instead.

My teenagers applied for about 40 jobs before getting summer work. How many did your DD apply for?

This is a really good point.

OP, your DD needs to get an uber / taxi home, just like all the other people who work there and don't drive. You were wrong to just assume her Aunt would give her a lift after every shift.

Oh, it’s another post where the poster can’t drive, but IF she did, she would give everyone she knows a lift everywhere they wanted to go. Right.

It’s easy to say I would, but when it’s actually you being inconvenienced giving lifts, it gets a bit tiresome.

I have a good idea where you are talking about. We were there recently and it can be rough.

Even if auntie walked or got someone to walk your daughter to the uber. I too wouldn’t be comfortable.

She be better off looking for a job somewhere like browns or similar near John Lewis.

why can't she stay with the Aunty until an uber arrives. I wouldn't expect her to walk to get an uber at 3am

But you would not give her dd a lift because you can't drive....?

Unless the aunty lives next door to you then YABU.

You don't drive so you have no idea what it's like giving lifts...

No, I wouldn’t expect the person running a pub to give people who work there lifts home, whether they were 18 or 65. They are responsible for getting there and back themselves or they don’t do the job.

Maybe she should find herself a different job.

It's like when people say if they had a spare bedroom they'd give it to the homeless lol.

Then get an uber at 2.30am to the pub and then escort your dd home.

Use the money you are saving from not giving your niece lifts.

Yabu. Its normal to look for and get a job that you can get to or from and consider the logistics up front, especially as an adult but even for a weekend job. DD has a bar job and if I am free I can occasionally take and pick her but usually she gets a bus there and a cab home if she finishes late. You can track cabs now so no need to hang around outside until they arrive, and she carries a rape alarm as an extra precaution. She should have had the conversation about travel arrangements before starting rather than make assumptions. Her aunt probably has post close stuff to do and/or doesn't want to cause issues with other staff by giving her niece special treatment.

What part of Liverpool City Centre (don't know anywhere in town that's rough now), @Littlek0406 ? You also don't have to walk very far from any pub in town in order to reach an accessible road to get an Uber. Plus Ubers and taxis are a dime a dozen in the early hours in town! My dd has been getting herself home from Edge Lane in Ubers in the early hours whenever she's on a late shift. Not seeing the problem TBH.

So you made an assumption but it didn't occur to either you or your daughter to check?

Because the aunt has a pub to run and probably doesn't want to be walking down the road to wait for the Uber after a long shift.

‘Auntie’ makes it sound like she’s a small child.

This is the solution OP. You’re saying you’d have no issues with the cost and extra time of dropping someone off if you could drive. So uber to your dd and then go home.

It is. When I came back from living in Australia I used to carry a print out of the application process in my bag so that when people told me that they thought I was mad for coming back I could get them out and start asking for their details to fill them in. Turns out that people didn’t want to leave their extended family, good careers or decent schools to emit after all.

I assume your ex’s sister did the favour by giving your DD the job in the first place. Unless she has to drive near your house get home herself it’s not reasonable to expect her to give your DD a lift. If this job isn’t working out for your DD because she can’t get home without walking to a place where she can pick up an Uber could she find a different job?

Lots of areas in the city centre are traffic free.