AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

[Littlek0406]

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

‘I would definitely drive her dd home always*’
*if I could drive.
😂😂

@Littlek0406 seems to be ignoring this sensible suggestion, along with any post asking where the aunt lives, and if the aunt actually finishes work at the same time as her niece.

"We were just under the illusion that her auntie would give her a lift home, as I would for her daughter if I drove."

I'd give my neighbours a ride on my unicorn if I had one.

This seems like the best option if dd is going to continue working there

Op, You don't want daughter walking to get taxi alone at 3am. Aunty isn't driving her home for whatever reason.

So solution is you get taxi to the pub before closing, wait for dd to finish and then walk to taxi rank together.

Or dd quits her job there since she can't get herself home.

Or she just does what the other hospitality staff (and pubbers and clubbers) do and just get the cab on her own.

Op, can you please tell us how far away you live from each other and whether they finish their shifts at the same time.
No one can possibly comment without this basic information.

Auntie should be paying for the uber from her pub to your home as part of wages

Is there a particular reason you are worried about an 18yo getting an uber home? Lots of teens go out at this age, and get Ubers home. Later than this too.

Is she vulnerable? As this is a fairly normal thing to do - she could have moved away to uni by now and be fully independent.

What sort of weirdness is this?

An employer should be paying staff the same wage as the rest of the staff doing the same job.

Whether the employee spends part of that wage on getting an Uber, a bus or running their own car is entirely down to them.

It's nothing to do with the employer.

Did your daughter agree anything with her Aunt, at the time she took the job? Yes, you could say that your daughter being her niece, then it would have been nice of her Aunt to have given her a lift home considering the time.

However, once your daughter finishes, I'd imagine her Aunt has jobs that need to be done, once the bar staff leave. It may be a case, that her Aunt simply doesn't have the time to give your daughter a lift, because that would then delay her finishing too.

The issue is, if your daughter worked in any other bar/pub, she'd be expected to get herself to and from work. It wouldn't be her employer's responsibility to give her a lift home or organise a taxi for her...or pay for one.

It's unfortunate that a taxi can't pull up outside the pub, and your daughter needs to walk a short distance. Her best bet would be to order the taxi, wait inside the pub and then walk to where she needs to meet the taxi. She's then minimising the time she's outside on her own.

You say you were under the impression that her auntie would be giving her lifts home but…why? Did her auntie say that she would? Or did you just assume?

London kindness here. When my daughter was a student and worked at a local pub with function rooms if her shift finished after a function at say 2am the manager would always pay for ubers for all staff due to being so late and no other transport available to get them hone safely.

Littlek- apparently most of the people answering your question here got up on the wrong side of the bed or had a spat with the DP and çan refer to you as a CF but not him.

I think you made an assumption that isn't going to happen. Sit down with your daughter and make some plans about how transport will be handled in the future.

Well that doesn't mean the aunt should do it just because someone else somewhere can afford to.

And if it was so important to the OP's DD, she should've discussed getting home before accepting the job.

I mean yabu because if this employer wasn't her Auntie surely you'd not be expecting them to give her a lift home and therefore she'd have to sort her own way home but I do understand why you feel concerned and I know that I'd not be letting my niece go home on her own when I'm there and able to give a lift.

You will either have to accept she needs to sort her own way home or you'll have to start going to get her yourself.

I've worked in hospitality a lot with late night shifts included. The proprietor/manager would normally organise a taxi to take staff home, especially female workers. They can claim tax exemptions on the taxi fare. The Health & Safety Executive guidelines say that protocols should be discussed for night workers, in particular female ones, before they take up the job. If there is more than one night worker it would be normal for them all to share the same taxi, adding another layer of safety. It's not a good idea for a woman at 3am to be trying to find her way home alone.

But what does any of this have to do with an employee not checking they'll be getting a lift home, before they accept the job?

How do other young staff get home?
I wonder if she doesn't give her a lift as it seems like favouritism and then others would say that they should have transport home included.

Now she has the bar experience maybe she should look for a job elsewhere, either still in a pub or perhaps doing something else with day time hours and walking distance.

I worked in a pub. I made my own way home. Employers don’t usually act as cabs.

She needs to work it out.

Not my experience. If female staff are finishing as late as 3am then the manager/owner would normally arrange a taxi, usually with several staff members in it. They get tax relief for this.

But as has been pointed out many times in the thread, it's not everyone's experience, so it's not really relevant to the situation.

And again, most staff are bright enough to check before accepting the job.

But she's not trying to find her way home, she's in a busy city centre, there's an abundance of taxis and Uber pick up areas within less than a 5 minute walk(down a busy street). She is not wondering aimlessly trying to figure out how to get home

Are you expecting the owner of any pub she works in to give her a lift home at the end of the shift? Clearly she can’t do that! If she did it for your daughter she’d have to do it for any employee otherwise it would be seen as treating family members favourably to other employees

When I was 16-18 I worked in a little chef/Burger King (shows my age)
literally in the middle of nowhere in Somerset. (Yep, it was a dogging site!)
I used to finish 2-3am and my brother or parents would pick me up.

at 18-20 I used to work in a nightclub in a city. They supplied taxis for all staff. Usually 3-4 people sharing a taxi but all organised and paid for by them.

I guess it depends on the size of business? At 18 they’d be expected to drive themself or sort transport themselves?

if she could easily drop her home on her own way back then that’s poor form.

I was thinking the same thing. Plus, town is going to be busy at that time so it’s not like she’s walking around empty steeets. I am 46 so my late nights out are over but when I was out until 3/4 in the morning there were also lots of police officers about too.