My husband doesn’t want to buy me an eternity ring. AIBU to want one?

[slowsausages]

20 year wedding anniversary coming up. Husband asked what I’d like and I said my only thing really is an eternity ring.
He’s acted so weird (I think) and basically taken offence to it. He thinks that wanting/getting one makes the wedding and engagement ring less special. That those rings symbolise forever and that essentially you shouldn’t need anything more.

I feel kind of offended and sad and let down. Now I feel like even if he got me one I just would feel awkward receiving it and wouldn’t have a good feeling anytime I saw it.
I feel like he’s ruined the whole idea of it.

AIBU unreasonable to feel this way?
Has anyone else’s husbands ever had similar?
I didn’t think it was a big deal and had no idea anyone would or could take it that way?

I completely understand - my DH bought me a fairly cheap gold ring as a birthday gift which I wore on my wedding finger. Fast forward a lot of years and I said I would like a 'proper' eternity ring but he would not really go there, just brushed the subject away or made noises. But no ring. I then came into a little money (he doesn't need my money!) and announced I was going to buy one for myself, which I did. It's a beauty. BUT it has become a bit of a strange but sore point between us. He is just a bit weird about it, and now I wear it on my right hand. I don't really know what has gone on here, but he definitely didn't want to buy one, and definitely didn't like it when I bought my own. 😳

Just thought I would update. He got me a very expensive and beautiful bracelet which I really do love and appreciate. However, I still would have preferred a ring (of any type) as I would wear it everyday and not just special occasions.
Anyway, he is a good man and obviously not alone in his dislike of eternity rings. I am going to buy myself one so we will see how that goes down!
thanks again for the replies

Thats an excellent idea. And you can be sure it's exactly what you want!

My eternity ring was a present on my 25th anniversary and I wear it on my right hand - ring finger.

Nothing about it detracts from my wedding and engagement rings and the vows we made 25 years previously.

it is very pretty and very special to me - given as a token of love on our 25th anniversary - a massive milestone as I had been really ill and really close to death - but pulled through - so it kind of symbolised an ongoing foreverness about our marriage despite the odds being against us.

up until then we had no extra money for pretty jewellery and I absolutely love how pretty it is and the love behind it . I put it on on our anniversary and have never removed it since.

it enhances not detracts from our vows and love and is such a beautiful gift that I am forever grateful for.

Will you get a full eternity ring or half one ?
I have a half one as I wear it everyday and felt the underside would get knocked about.

He asked what you’d like. You said a ring and he’s not happy because you’ve got one. You want a ring, it doesn’t matter what fancy name the ring sellers put on it, you’d like a ring. My husband has loads of records and bikes so I’ll just rename his new bike an eternity bike and say the other ones he has will do so he can’t have another one.

I’ve always quite fancied one. Not because I don’t think my wedding ring symbolises forever, or I don’t love my engagement ring, because I do. I just like the look of sparkly baguette diamond rings. There’s nothing wrong with wanting what you want and he sounds mean - I don’t mean re the cost, I mean to dismiss the thing you said you would like as something you ‘shouldn’t’ want. I doubt you would tell him he ‘shouldn’t’ want some new golf clubs for whatever reason.

This. Take the name away, and it’s just a particular style of a piece of jewellery that you would like.

It’s my 25th anniversary tomorrow and it’s ‘silver’ so my dh wanted to get me an eternity ring and I felt a bit weird about it to be honest. Like it was going to usurp my wedding ring. So I said I didn’t want one and I think he was a bit put out.

Im really glad he told me because I don’t know what I would have done it I had just been presented with one tomorrow. Does it go on the same finger? Anyway I don’t want one so I’m not getting one.

Then trying taking this on board.

Nothing wrong with wanting one. I asked for one after we had our DC, I’d been through a lot and felt I’d earned it. (Mostly, I just wanted to liven up my hands as my wedding ring and engagement ring are very plain, just one tiny diamond) We went to a secondhand jewellery shop and chose something that made me feel fancy without costing a fortune, I’m very happy with it.