Talk me down, please. I'm mighty p'd off.

[DoneWithThisShizzle]

It was agreed with DH that we would only stay at his parents for one night, Christmas day. His parents are frail, FIL has diverticulitis so needs regular access to the bathroom, particularly in the morning. I love them, but they also drive me insane as they chat about all their symptoms while doing nothing to help themselves.

MIL has just offered us to stay another night and DH turned to me to ask me what I thought! He knows what I think but, holding in my fury, I passed it back to him. Mistake! We are now staying another night.

For context, we live 30 mins away and see them regularly.

To top it off, I don't have a change of underwear.

My AIBU is, whether I have a right to feel so annoyed?

Annoyed with yourself presumably?

If you only live 30 minutes away why don't you just come home and dh Stay the night if thats what he wants to do? Surely yoy don't both have to stay?

Go home, and come back for him tomorrow.

Discuss it when he's back.

Don't make a drama out of it, but also don't be a doormat. Just be cheerful, say you have some jobs to do at home, and tell him to have a lovely time.

Your fault for not standing your ground and answering at the time you’d have to sadly depart today. Although I voted YANBU because it’s harsh for you.

What a crawbag putting you on the spot like that!

Why don't you go home if that's what you want to do?

“Ah sorry I forgot I haven’t got any clean underwear, I’ll head home tonight and come back for you tomorrow’d’h “

unless there’s a decent public transport option for him…

If you live thirty minutes away, get yourself home, and DH can stay another night with his parents?

Yes, I think you're right, that's where some of the anger is.

Make an excuse? You’ve got a migraine and need to go home. Easy.

Yes, I'd be furious with myself if I didn't just say "Oh no thanks. It's been lovely but I miss my own bed".

Yes! I can't even look at him!

It was unfair of your DH to put you on the spot like that.

In your shoes I think I'd be remembering something that I had to be at home for today ... eg. helping a friend/neighbour out maybe by feeding their cat/walking their dog?

Just say you're feeling a bit ill/period come on unexpectedly/friend has reminded you you were supposed to meet for drinks tonight? It's not like your dipping early out of a longstanding agreement if the plan was never to stay tonight in the first place

Why? He must want to stay the extra night with his parents since he has chosen to.

Doesn't mean you have to tho, make an excuse and go home, its not that far

Wish I'd had the sense to come up with this perfect response in the moment 😭

Just go home.

Not much fun for anyone if you're hanging around against your own will with a strop on.

Go home, quiet bath, relax on your own. Only got yourself to blame otherwise.

If you only live 30 minutes away just be honest, sorry dont have any clothes, I am going home, will come back and pick
you up tomorrow dh

If it’s only half an hour away and I had no pants I would 100% be heading home for a night to myself! Lovely!

Thank you for your swift responses and good ideas. In the moment my brain seized up and I've just retreated to the bedroom. I know he wants to stay and we'll be hanging around tomorrow until we'll after lunch. I think I'll have to put my big girl pants on and tell him I need some clean ones for tomorrow 🤣

This is a ridiculous over reaction to a situation you could have avoided by politely saying no thanks in the first place and can still get out of. Plenty have given you a solution - sorry, I forgot, I haven't got clean underwear, so I can't stay. But darling, I know how much you want another night with your parents, so you stay here and I will collect you tomorrow.

"Sorry, Love to stay, but we only packed for one night and I've no change of clothes, and really need to change. If dh would like to stay then I'll pick him up tomorrow."

30 minutes away?

Tell them all that there’s been a funny misunderstanding. It’s only DH who is staying obviously haha lol at the thought of you staying on without enough underwear, crowded bathroom etc!

So you’ll be off soon, and will pick him up tomorrow.

DC can stay or come home too.

It's no big deal. It obviously means alot to them so it's not going to kill you.

But she doesn’t want to.