Talk me down, please. I'm mighty p'd off.

[DoneWithThisShizzle]

It was agreed with DH that we would only stay at his parents for one night, Christmas day. His parents are frail, FIL has diverticulitis so needs regular access to the bathroom, particularly in the morning. I love them, but they also drive me insane as they chat about all their symptoms while doing nothing to help themselves.

MIL has just offered us to stay another night and DH turned to me to ask me what I thought! He knows what I think but, holding in my fury, I passed it back to him. Mistake! We are now staying another night.

For context, we live 30 mins away and see them regularly.

To top it off, I don't have a change of underwear.

My AIBU is, whether I have a right to feel so annoyed?

YABU
It's only one extra night and they are his parents

I fucking hate it when people do this, knowing full well what you think, but put you on the spot.

You can easily go home. Go and enjoy some peace. It’s nothing. Have a lovely evening whatever you decide x

He wanted you to be the bad guy and find a reason why not.

Thought I'd share a little update. So, we told them that we'd decided to go home and they couldn't have looked more relieved. When we started packing up they couldn't have rushed us out of the door any quicker! 🤣 Anyway, we had a lush sleep, back in our own beds. Win!

Life’s too short to do stuff you don’t want to do - tell them you have to go and feed the stick insect and get yourself home!

Check out my update 👍

Your DH asked you and that was the point at which you should have said that you hadn't brought a change of clothes, which is no doubt what your DH expected you to say. He was probably surprised you didn't say that. He's done nothing wrong. No one has coerced you.

Op leave him there and go home ! 30 mins away !

MIL asked DH and that was the point at which he should have said that we had planned on going home so we hadn't brought a change of clothes, which is no doubt what I expected him to say. I was surprised he didn't say that.

Sounds like they were trying to be polite by asking you, and you (your dh) were trying to be polite by saying yes. And nobody was happy 😂

A lesson for all moving forward. Glad it worked out OP.

You've hit the nail on the head! Definitely a lesson learned 🤣

aww bless you but I think you’re mad at yourself I’d be the same id agree to save face and then be fuming with myself . Could you not say ooh I’m gonna actually go home tonight as I’ve no clean undies or clothes but we’ll pop back tomorrow for a quick lunch ?

Check out my update 👍😁

Well why didn't you say no. I'm
Not sure why you would stay when you live only 30 mins away.

So glad it worked out for you @DoneWithThisShizzle

in future, though, I’d suggest you agree with OH that you will never as a couple make decisions in front of other people. Just say ‘ we would need to think about that’ and then decide in private after you have spoken together

your lives will be so.much.easier.

This?

Thank you. Good advice 👍

This is a situation I am very familiar with. Both DH and BIL do this - rely on me/SIL to be the bad guys. I think this is very common unfortunately. I’ve learned to remind mine what has been agreed.

You brought this on yourself! Stick it out, your underwear will air over night. You were unkind to set your husband up like that.

Exactly this! Or for clean knickers at a minimum

Don’t be daft. You’re a grown up, use your words.
”I’d love to stay and be pampered MIL, it’s lovely here, but I know how much it is to host, and don’t want to outstay my welcome. Also, I have no clean clothes, so we need to leave this evening. Thank you for offering.”

I have zero sympathy for you, and your poor mil who has to host even longer.

Sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to. To avoid hurt feelings. And it is only one night.
But as it is only 30 mins away she can easily go home and leave DH

I feel your pain. I live 15 mins away from my in laws and so far we have seen them in Xmas day and today. We will be seeing them tomorrow and Monday and expected to see them in New Years Day. Thank god we are not staying over at theirs. I will be spending a considerable amount of my holidays with them and so will be very politely and firmly telling them they can make other plans for new years day as I will be going to see my own family!
OP - I completely relate about the mind numbing conversation!