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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A man undressing in front of a woman without her consent is an act of intimidation and control. Men do not acquire consent by identifying as women

748 replies

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 17:56

How and why has it become anything but voyeurism and control?

What on earth can be done to reverse the madness?

Trans staff should always be given dignified, adequate, separate changing spaces. Females should never feel cowed, silenced, intimidated into putting up with a man looking at them half naked.

Background.
https://www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-news/why-scots-nurse-sandie-peggie-has-taken-nhs-fife-to-tribunal-over-dr-beth-upton-transgender-dispute-4974664

(Phrase inspired by a tweet from x.com/SonyaDouglas )

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Devilsmommy · 04/02/2025 18:02

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GailBlancheViola · 04/02/2025 18:03

Absolutely. It is abuse pure and simple to force women to undress in front of men.

Women are human beings worthy of rights.

What do the people who promote, agree and condone this think it says about them? I know what I think it makes them and it is not a description they would like.

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:12

I was wondering if this would be the first 100% one sided vote but....

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Clarabell77 · 04/02/2025 18:15

It doesn’t say anything in the article about the Dr undressing in front of anyone, or the nurse being undressed and the doctor looking? We have unisex changing rooms (separate cubicles) in sports centres all over our local authority.

Devilsmommy · 04/02/2025 18:16

I'd love to hear the reasons why you're unreasonable 🤨

FebruaryCrow · 04/02/2025 18:16

Very much agree with you, OP.

OnlyHerefortheBiscuits · 04/02/2025 18:16

For anyone interested in this debate I would recommend listening to the podcast called "The Witch Trials of JK Rowling"

It's not just about her specifically; it's about the topic generally.

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:18

Clarabell77 · 04/02/2025 18:15

It doesn’t say anything in the article about the Dr undressing in front of anyone, or the nurse being undressed and the doctor looking? We have unisex changing rooms (separate cubicles) in sports centres all over our local authority.

Well at this Hospital, they do not. They have open, single sex changing spaces.

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SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:19

Devilsmommy · 04/02/2025 18:16

I'd love to hear the reasons why you're unreasonable 🤨

around 10% of people seem to think it's unreasonable. I too would love to know their reasoning.

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HoraceCope · 04/02/2025 18:19

and the trans doctor is accusing the nurse of bullying

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:20

HoraceCope · 04/02/2025 18:19

and the trans doctor is accusing the nurse of bullying

A man in a dress playing the victim card?

Well I never.

OP posts:
GailBlancheViola · 04/02/2025 18:20

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:12

I was wondering if this would be the first 100% one sided vote but....

There are people who are absolutely determined to have non consenting women and girls remove their clothes in front of men and boys who claim they are women/girls.

ChangingHistory · 04/02/2025 18:20

Clarabell77 · 04/02/2025 18:15

It doesn’t say anything in the article about the Dr undressing in front of anyone, or the nurse being undressed and the doctor looking? We have unisex changing rooms (separate cubicles) in sports centres all over our local authority.

You're right it doesnt.

The employment tribubal is happening now and they are communal changing rooms in a hospital, he's there whilst the women are changing and vice versa. No one is disputing this but its not being reported in mainstream media.

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 18:24

Clarabell77 · 04/02/2025 18:15

It doesn’t say anything in the article about the Dr undressing in front of anyone, or the nurse being undressed and the doctor looking? We have unisex changing rooms (separate cubicles) in sports centres all over our local authority.

You can read a report directly on twitter link is in the thread below

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5267591-nhs-fife-tries-to-silence-nurse-sandie-peggie-vs-nhs-fife-health-board-thread-2

Fordian · 04/02/2025 18:25

It says female changing room, so presumably a communal female one, as is the case all over the NHS, for the avoidance of doubt!

CharityShopChic · 04/02/2025 18:27

It is being reported on BBC news in Scotland, and it's the top story on the BBC Scotland news website.

This is what happens when the Scottish government thinks that being a woman just means stating that you are a woman, and we have successive first ministers referring to Isla Bryson as a "rapist gender" not a man.

Now you would think that a transwoman / transman wanting to go quiewtly about their own business and identify as they wished would just get changed privately in the loo or a spare office or whatever, and get on with their job. And nobody would have any problem with that. Because even if you believe you can't change sex, nobody advocates being nasty or discriminatory to colleagues. But this particular case involves someone who seems determined to impose themselves on female colleagues, like it or not.

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:27

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 18:19

around 10% of people seem to think it's unreasonable. I too would love to know their reasoning.

I have to ask - do the 10% think that men TRULY DO gain consent by saying they are women??

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lionsleepstonight · 04/02/2025 18:28

100% agree OP.

FaithFables · 04/02/2025 18:30

This reply has been deleted

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IllustratedDictionaryOfTheDoldrums · 04/02/2025 18:31

YANBU with bells on. I'm sure someone will be a long in a moment to tell you that you're unkind or overreacting or every other thing men say to minimise their own bad behaviour.
No woman should be bullied into having to undress in front of men or be present against their will while men are undressing. Anyone arguing for this needs to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Apillthatmakesyousayalltherightstuff · 04/02/2025 18:32

"I don't care if a man is having a mental issue that causes him to reject his sex, access to naked women and girls is not a mental health treatment" by Amy E. Sousa

JazzyJelly · 04/02/2025 18:32

Even if it was 99% voting YABU, they couldn't consent on the behalf of a single woman who said no.

Women's spaces are for women, not men, however they identify.

myrtleWilson · 04/02/2025 18:35

One of the times the nurse was having to undress was because of very heavy period - the Dr remained as far as I recall from the live thread from the tribunal

Clarabell77 · 04/02/2025 18:37

Okay, fair enough, just wondered.

BoeotianNightmare · 04/02/2025 18:37

Apillthatmakesyousayalltherightstuff · 04/02/2025 18:32

"I don't care if a man is having a mental issue that causes him to reject his sex, access to naked women and girls is not a mental health treatment" by Amy E. Sousa

Where is this quote from? Whoever she is, she's absolutely correct.