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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A man undressing in front of a woman without her consent is an act of intimidation and control. Men do not acquire consent by identifying as women

748 replies

SernieBanders · 04/02/2025 17:56

How and why has it become anything but voyeurism and control?

What on earth can be done to reverse the madness?

Trans staff should always be given dignified, adequate, separate changing spaces. Females should never feel cowed, silenced, intimidated into putting up with a man looking at them half naked.

Background.
https://www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-news/why-scots-nurse-sandie-peggie-has-taken-nhs-fife-to-tribunal-over-dr-beth-upton-transgender-dispute-4974664

(Phrase inspired by a tweet from x.com/SonyaDouglas )

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2025 19:50

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 18:53

"The nurse also confirmed that she had "strong opinions" and an admiration for US President Donald Trump."

"One text from the nurse said she was "shaking like a leaf" after encountering Dr Upton in the changing room, adding: "Everyone sticks up for the minority."

"Dr Upton's complaint alleged that Ms Peggie left a patient, who was in a serious condition, when the doctor appeared in the cubicle. It was alleged that Ms Peggie asked Dr Upton to complete observations for her - a task which would normally be completed by a nurse."

All from the BBC report.

I would put money on the fact that someone with strong opinions hasn't been quietly getting along with Dr Upton. She actually put a motion forward in court to be allowed to misgender Dr Upton and was keen that the case was heard in public. This is not someone who just has an issue with changing rooms.

Either way, she's got the attention she wanted, and if she loses it will just be more grist for the mill, I guess. It would be great if these issues could be addressed in a better way, instead of this kind of noise whipping up a storm.

So what?

Even women who have opinions you don't approve of should have the right not to be abused at work.

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2025 19:51

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 19:50

Quite why anyone is defending this bullshit is beyond me.

No to predatory men in women's spaces. That's a complete no brainer as far as I'm concerned

They have to be TRAs or MRA, the goal is to smear the victim.

What has struck me is that men got fed up with 'I believe her' and trans activism was the ideal response to women being able to call out inappropriate male sexual conduct.

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 19:54

You have a visable agenda with your quotes so I like to read the source material to independently check the reporters bias

And there we have the problem. Anyone presenting any alternative view has "an agenda". Just to clear up your misconceptions;

  • I believe single sex spaces should be available to those who want them.
  • I believe those who are in a minority, shouldn't be harassed or vilified for being who they want to be.
  • I believe the high profile cases which serve only to divide, muddy the waters and make it even harder for both sides to get what they want.
  • I believe most people who are part of the debate are genuinely trying to find a solution.
  • I believe there are extremist elements on either side of the debate who are using the genuine people who are on "their side" to bolster their extremism.
  • I believe that nitpicking on terminology (which even the US administration has struggled to determine this week) isn't getting anyone anywhere.
  • I have no opinion on whether someone chooses to call themselves something or other, as long as they aren't breaking the law.
Screamingabdabz · 04/02/2025 19:56

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 19:50

Quite why anyone is defending this bullshit is beyond me.

No to predatory men in women's spaces. That's a complete no brainer as far as I'm concerned

But it’s not just about those we deem as ‘predatory’ because that in of itself creates a loophole.

Just no men. No male bodies. At all. Even the ‘nice’ ones. We don’t want them in our spaces. Thanks.

DuesToTheDirt · 04/02/2025 19:56

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 19:50

Quite why anyone is defending this bullshit is beyond me.

No to predatory men in women's spaces. That's a complete no brainer as far as I'm concerned

I'd like to add "No to non-predatory men" as well. Let's not have any suggestion of, "This one's nice, we'll let him in." Predatory, lovely, rapist, thug, gentle... it doesn't matter what their character is, nor what their reason is, men shouldn't be in women's spaces.

InfoSecInTheCity · 04/02/2025 19:57

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 19:32

She did several times.

Indeed she said she had, but if it were such a problem, the next step is to escalate it with upper management. Or are we happy that someone can choose to go against workplace policy, as long as we agree with their stance.

If she had decided she didn't like the policy that said she wasn't allowed to harass a muslim employee for having regular prayer breaks, would we be ok with that?

Everyone has a right to feel comfortable in their workplace. NHS Fife should be providing a mix of changing spaces so that everyone has a place they feel safe. This case isn't going to change that policy. NHS Fife made that clear when they said her bringing the case was vexatious. All this serves to do is whip up more froth. If there is widespread support for her among her colleagues, it should have been pretty easy to have NHS Fife be forced to provide better accommodations. Other organisations have done so.

Clap and cheer this woman all you want, unfortunately she has not helped the cause in any way.

The hospital have very effectively made clear to every female staff member that if they complain about having a man in the changing room with them they will be suspended and their job is at risk. They then have the gall to say "no one else complained" as justification for why they allow male staff members to watch female staff members getting undressed.

Dawninglory · 04/02/2025 19:58

I don't agree with her entirely but JK has a point. Womenkind is being highjacked by certain men calling themselves TW.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 19:59

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2025 19:51

They have to be TRAs or MRA, the goal is to smear the victim.

What has struck me is that men got fed up with 'I believe her' and trans activism was the ideal response to women being able to call out inappropriate male sexual conduct.

Edited

Quite. The left only went along with women's rights and dignity when it suited them. What a glorious opportunity this whole trans debacle has been for them to stick it to women.

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2025 19:59

Dawninglory · 04/02/2025 19:58

I don't agree with her entirely but JK has a point. Womenkind is being highjacked by certain men calling themselves TW.

Im really interested in what she’s said that you don’t agree with ?

I think she’s 100% right.

Ddakji · 04/02/2025 20:00

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 18:53

"The nurse also confirmed that she had "strong opinions" and an admiration for US President Donald Trump."

"One text from the nurse said she was "shaking like a leaf" after encountering Dr Upton in the changing room, adding: "Everyone sticks up for the minority."

"Dr Upton's complaint alleged that Ms Peggie left a patient, who was in a serious condition, when the doctor appeared in the cubicle. It was alleged that Ms Peggie asked Dr Upton to complete observations for her - a task which would normally be completed by a nurse."

All from the BBC report.

I would put money on the fact that someone with strong opinions hasn't been quietly getting along with Dr Upton. She actually put a motion forward in court to be allowed to misgender Dr Upton and was keen that the case was heard in public. This is not someone who just has an issue with changing rooms.

Either way, she's got the attention she wanted, and if she loses it will just be more grist for the mill, I guess. It would be great if these issues could be addressed in a better way, instead of this kind of noise whipping up a storm.

There’s no such thing as misgendering so I’m glad that was thrown out.
Referring to a male person using male words isn’t mis-anything.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/02/2025 20:01

And there we have the problem. Anyone presenting any alternative view has "an agenda".

Anyone who reads a case about a male making a female uncomfortable in a space that should just be for females, not males with a special inner identity, and automatically feels the need to present an 'alternative view' IS the problem.

cariadlet · 04/02/2025 20:01

More photos of the very male doctor here.
How could any woman possibly feel uncomfortable sharing a changing room with him!
x.com/WitchyMcWitch/status/1886825815444173243?t=LRvGo7vjGmUtAmsrv6amyw&s=19

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 20:02

You stated it so you should be able to define what it is, no?

I was responding to @RockStarMartini's comment about people choosing a different gender. Perhaps ask them what they meant?

I have no idea how different people go about changing their gender, I expect different people do it in different ways. If I were going to do it, I might try changing my appearance first to see have it goes, or, if I was really sure, I might go to see a specialist. Maybe I'd try therapy first. Who knows.

Why is this line of enquiry important to the OP?

moochermini · 04/02/2025 20:02

Unless you are suggesting people go through a gender change just to go into female changing rooms? Which seems very unlikely.

Bless your heart.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:03

Screamingabdabz · 04/02/2025 19:56

But it’s not just about those we deem as ‘predatory’ because that in of itself creates a loophole.

Just no men. No male bodies. At all. Even the ‘nice’ ones. We don’t want them in our spaces. Thanks.

Completely agree.

This one is clearly a predator though, which is the only reason for me calling that out.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:04

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/02/2025 20:01

And there we have the problem. Anyone presenting any alternative view has "an agenda".

Anyone who reads a case about a male making a female uncomfortable in a space that should just be for females, not males with a special inner identity, and automatically feels the need to present an 'alternative view' IS the problem.

100% this

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 20:04

BBC are as bias as they come.

Of course they are. 🙄 It's not at all like you can look at the public record of the trial and verify what they are saying.

But the photo linked to on Reddux which people are salivating over is an entirely an unbiased source.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:05

Can anyone please enlighten me as to what a 'gender change' involves?

Thanks in advance

GailBlancheViola · 04/02/2025 20:05

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 19:50

Quite why anyone is defending this bullshit is beyond me.

No to predatory men in women's spaces. That's a complete no brainer as far as I'm concerned

No to men in women's spaces full stop. Decent men don't abuse or cross women's boundaries, which tells you all you need to know about the men who do whether they say they are a woman or not.

As for those cheering these men on in their abuse and boundary breaking they are as bad as the men.

Whatever happened to respecting a woman's 'No'?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/02/2025 20:05

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 20:02

You stated it so you should be able to define what it is, no?

I was responding to @RockStarMartini's comment about people choosing a different gender. Perhaps ask them what they meant?

I have no idea how different people go about changing their gender, I expect different people do it in different ways. If I were going to do it, I might try changing my appearance first to see have it goes, or, if I was really sure, I might go to see a specialist. Maybe I'd try therapy first. Who knows.

Why is this line of enquiry important to the OP?

You stated it in a separate post, you should be able to say what it means. Why would you parrot something that you don't know what it means or aren't able to explain.

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2025 20:06

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 20:04

BBC are as bias as they come.

Of course they are. 🙄 It's not at all like you can look at the public record of the trial and verify what they are saying.

But the photo linked to on Reddux which people are salivating over is an entirely an unbiased source.

‘Salivating’

fgs.

These males & their supporters are disgraceful.

CheekySnake · 04/02/2025 20:06

'misgendered' = correctly sexed.

We should start pointing this out every time accusations of misgendering are made.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:07

GailBlancheViola · 04/02/2025 20:05

No to men in women's spaces full stop. Decent men don't abuse or cross women's boundaries, which tells you all you need to know about the men who do whether they say they are a woman or not.

As for those cheering these men on in their abuse and boundary breaking they are as bad as the men.

Whatever happened to respecting a woman's 'No'?

Whatever happened to respecting a woman's 'No'?

These people only supported that when it was fashionable. They don't actually give a shit about women's rights, safety and dignity.

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:07

CheekySnake · 04/02/2025 20:06

'misgendered' = correctly sexed.

We should start pointing this out every time accusations of misgendering are made.

Completely

TheKeatingFive · 04/02/2025 20:09

BoredZelda · 04/02/2025 20:04

BBC are as bias as they come.

Of course they are. 🙄 It's not at all like you can look at the public record of the trial and verify what they are saying.

But the photo linked to on Reddux which people are salivating over is an entirely an unbiased source.

But the photo linked to on Reddux which people are salivating over is an entirely an unbiased source

It's a picture that clearly indicates a male. How is that biased? Are you denying that this person is male?