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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People on this group!

83 replies

professionaloverthinker · 26/09/2024 08:57

Is it me or are more and more people on here just being fucking nasty for the sake of it?! Honestly if you have nothing nice to say to people that are genuinely looking for some advice because they haven't got anywhere else to turn just keep your opinion to yourself! It really isn't hard to be nice!

OP posts:
TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

spiderdave · 26/09/2024 09:03

I agree, I always think it's probably the people that won't say boo to a goose in real life, so they have to get it all off their chest anonymously. And I think the unnecessary snarky comments make the individual look really dim.

rainbowstardrops · 26/09/2024 09:05

I don't like it either. I mean, it's one thing to question an OP and their actions etc but I don't see the need to be plain nasty. I'd be surprised if those types of people would do so in real life.

Bayern · 26/09/2024 09:05

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

Not sure if you are intending to be amusing or proving the OP's point.

Putonyourredshoesanddancetheblues · 26/09/2024 09:07

And I think the unnecessary snarky comments make the individual look really dim.

As demonstrated in the post above.

I’m so tired, edited because I quoted the wrong bit!

MonsteraMama · 26/09/2024 09:07

Just ignore it 🤷‍♀️ I've had a few nasty comments on here in my time and I just assume they must be quite a miserable person to immediately jump to being nasty by default.

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:08

maybe some days the person posting or replying has just had a really bad day and needs somewhere to let off steam before going back to the real world.

most people who post are well meaning, and it only appears rude when it doesnt agree with the general theme of the post.

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:10

Bayern · 26/09/2024 09:05

Not sure if you are intending to be amusing or proving the OP's point.

Show quote history

No, not intending to be amusing.

Just fed up of this weekly moan, seriously - if somewhere makes you so unhappy, really, why are you here?

PollyDactyl · 26/09/2024 09:11

I don't find swearing very nice but there you go.

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:13

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:10

No, not intending to be amusing.

Just fed up of this weekly moan, seriously - if somewhere makes you so unhappy, really, why are you here?

Show quote history

i do agree with this.. i don't think it makes you mean or nasty to make an observation.

Combattingthemoaners · 26/09/2024 09:13

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

The irony 🙃

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:18

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

A bit like this comment, completely pointless and rude.

Yes OP I agree with you, that particular poster last night was absolutely disgusting and I hope they were banned.

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:19

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:18

A bit like this comment, completely pointless and rude.

Yes OP I agree with you, that particular poster last night was absolutely disgusting and I hope they were banned.

Show quote history

So why is my comment rude, and yours not?

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:19

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:08

maybe some days the person posting or replying has just had a really bad day and needs somewhere to let off steam before going back to the real world.

most people who post are well meaning, and it only appears rude when it doesnt agree with the general theme of the post.

Or someone reaching out because they can't cope anymore and some nasty piece of shit calls them a moron....there are definitely people here who get kicks from bullying.

nonnymussy · 26/09/2024 09:21

Is it really worse? I remember threads saying similar going back years.

It's possibly the anonymity, and ability to name change frequently, that makes some people feel able to say what they like. It's more civil between members on fixed username sites. In my opinion. Though, on balance, I've found Mumsnet an extremely useful and supportive place and fewer cliques than previous years.

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:21

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:19

So why is my comment rude, and yours not?

Show quote history

Yours was pointless and proving OPs point, mine was pointing that out. Anyway I'm not even getting into it with people like you, proving OPs point and I'm clearly not the only person on this post who has that opinion of you.

HotPotato123 · 26/09/2024 09:22

Yabu

Gelasring · 26/09/2024 09:23

It would be far better to call it out when you see it - I always do.
These sort of 'group telling offs' never go down well. The arseholes of Mumsnet won't stop being arseholes because of threads like this but they do sometimes disappear or rein it in when you call them out at the time.
Meanwhile those of us who aren't arseholes get a bit cheesed off at these threads because it feels like they're unfairly aimed at all of us.

Kiuyni · 26/09/2024 09:24

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:08

maybe some days the person posting or replying has just had a really bad day and needs somewhere to let off steam before going back to the real world.

most people who post are well meaning, and it only appears rude when it doesnt agree with the general theme of the post.

I don't agree it's people who have the odd bad day.

I think its mainly people who get something out of being horrible on the Internet. There are lots.

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:24

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:21

Yours was pointless and proving OPs point, mine was pointing that out. Anyway I'm not even getting into it with people like you, proving OPs point and I'm clearly not the only person on this post who has that opinion of you.

Show quote history

Completely double standards, but you do you as they say

GingerPirate · 26/09/2024 09:25

Yes, what about them?
😕
Someone may seldom be fucking nasty, but most are decent.

nonnymussy · 26/09/2024 09:26

Also don't forget to report them. It's often the same people time and again.

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:27

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:24

Completely double standards, but you do you as they say

Show quote history

Replying rudely and pointlessly is not the same as calling someone out for doing said thing. But if you believe that's what double standards is then yeah you do you.

Nannerli · 26/09/2024 09:28

I’ve been here since 2011, and it’s pretty much the same. Other than there seeming to be more threads getting outraged about the ‘nastiness’…?