A lot of people on Mumsnet are so horrible!

[Unusualusernames]

Is it just me or are there a lot of really nasty people who comment on Mumsnet?

I seem to come across more and more people who comment on quite innocuous posts to the tune of "get over yourself".

I'd get it if it was a controversial post but I often see this where someone has posted something they're obviously upset about. I just don't understand some people's mentality.

I think there's a lot of useful advice on here and I've been coming on here for years but I don't really get why people go on the internet to get into arguments or make unnecessary barbed comments. I find it really weird.

I'm thinking of deleting my account now because the levels of aggression and negativity don't rest well with me.

I agree.

I feel some Mumsnetters come on here to judge others and think because they are anonymous it gives them a sense of courage they otherwise wouldn’t have in real life.

Pick some threads that interest you which aren’t in AIBU. Put them on your Watch list. There are lots of nice, helpful people but lots of arseholes in AIBU (lots of good ones there too, though). Go to Topics and see what you can find.

I agree to an extent, and do feel a bit paranoid when I'm drafting posts trying to pre-empt the inevitable criticism

But there are LOADS of amazing mumsnetters on here who have gone over and above to give me advice over the years (different usernames) and I will always be grateful for that.

Yes you learn which threads are going to be controversial. Often indicated by hundreds of posts.
Don't bother with posts that you find aggressive.

Hide AIBU. I do that from time to time and the whole tone of MN changes for the better

That's what I like about MN. People just say what they think. No bullshit.

That's what I prefer in people. If you prefer a softer touch, that's ok too.

Just step away from the threads that upset you. No one can force you to read them.

except most of the posts (certainly over 50%) are not genuine.
equally responses are liberal (not what you would say to someones face) you have to carve out the real from the fake and not get overly invested.

(((((Hugs))))🌸🌼🌺🌻😻🦘

You get a lot of keyboard warriors on any site. Most of the would never dream of saying the things they say on here to someone's face.

Lots of people on mn would never in real life say what they say on here.

I've learnt what topics are incendiary and what views you cannot express without having lots of people get very angry at you. So I avoid those topics and name change if I want to say something controversial to MN's beliefs.

Yes, a few posters say really nasty things, although many are nice and funny. I don't post more because some people are really aggressive and it's not worth having to battle with them.

Agreed @CTRL .I especially hate it when someone has made a spectacularly bad decision and knows they have (because they are posting about it and acknowledging what a fuck up it is ) and some idiot comments 'well you made your bed blah blah' ,really unhelpful.

Yes, AIBU is full of arseholes. People with a pack mentality who love to teat strips off posters.

There are lots of wonderful posters here.

But some are just here to get kicks out of being nasty. They convince themselves they're just blunt or plain speaking. But actually they're bullies.

*tear, not teat!

I agree... I posted an innocent (supposed to make people smile) post yesterday and got the WORST abuse ever online. I am still shocked at some people's nastines and how unnescessary it is. I agree with pp, most of them won't have the b*lls to face me and make this snidy comments to my face... I'm sorry you were also on the receiving end of narrow-minded meanness. Rise above it. You're the better person xxxx 💐

Yes, I think it has now overspilled from AIBU to the other threads. It's a shame as this should be a place for support to mothers (and others). And I definitely agree that the majority of people wouldn't say it to people faces.

I think some just try to shock to get a reaction, sad really if that's how they get their kicks and others are just plain mean.

I know it's hard but Just try to ignore, they only get the attention they crave if people actually engage.

The annonimity gives people a certain amount of courage that they wouldn't normally have, because they don't necessarily have to justify the comments as they would have to in real life face to face. They can drop a bomb and never return. As pp have said there's also certain topics that go up like a fireworks display on here. With some it seems to be who can post the nastiest comment and a certain amount of bandwagon jumping. I do think people are ruder than they used to be in general, especially when there are no concequences of it. And of course those who say they're just 'telling it like it is' - there's different ways to say the same thing even if you disagree with someone's point. For example -
"I agree, there's some nasty posts on aibu and if you're feeling down, sensitive or particularly upset then it could be distressing. It's probably best avoided when you feel that way, as it's likely to make you feel worse"
Compared to

"FFS aibu is like that, it's not sugar coated here you know! If you're too much of a snowflake to deal with the TRUTH then you should be on nethuns. Here's a grip to take with you, no one's being nasty on here, you're just pathetic"
I tend to avoid aibu sometimes, but overall I think there's some great advice and a few needed reality checks along the way.

The problem is a lot of people arrive at mumsnet straight on AIBU via the media (who like to report on fights on mumsnet) or search engines and never leave and think that’s what it’s all like

I hate to say but this thread has been done to death!

Also what’s anyone supposed to do about it. Genuinely it’s a open forum on the internet trump could join if he wanted to.

Here's a properly nice thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3685664-To-post-the-last-pic-you-took?watched=1&msgid=89911548#89911548

I hate it when people ask for help and get a load of abuse for having the problem in the first place or get told they should have done something 5 years ago. They need advice on what to do NOW.

There are so many posts now, in a short space of time, that often the poster, and others, haven't read much of the thread (or even the first post sometimes) and base their post on the last few misleading ones.

It isn’t like this on other boards really. Just get off Aibu

AIBU is full of arseholes but probably around the same percentage you get in real life.

AIBU is well known for it I think. There are a lot of genuinely lovely posters and I have seen some go out of their way IRL to help posters in trouble. Certain topics always seem to descend into nastiness, which is sad because I think people tend to post here because AIBU gets more traffic and more chance of a quick reply. There are also cliques in certain areas of the site, if you dare to post in a thread that is "theirs" you will either get a pasting or ignored.