Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Anybody else scared to post on Mumsnet

214 replies

Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:21

I feel like Mumsnet can be a bit toxic sometimes and I feel a bit uncomfortable posting anything.

People can be very judgmental in here.

OP posts:
LindorDoubleChoc · 05/03/2023 21:27

If you post a goady thread in Aibu, infact if you post anything in Aibu, you will get some spikey answers.

Try posting something completely anodyne in chat. You might, just about, get mostly friendly / helpful answers. Don't expect 100% positivity though, that's a bit unrealistic on a huge open forum like this.

Orangetapemeasure · 05/03/2023 21:29

People are very judgemental everywhere- they just don’t tell you in real
life!! But they still think it!
I nc regularly, so no significant posts linked. I’ve been absolutely roasted in the past for what I thought were fairly benign posts- just name change and move on. Don’t post the same thing onSM as MN in case someone who knows you reads both.
it’s a great place to become aware of different points of view - I was gobsmacked by both posts and responses when I first found MN……but it’s not like you need to be nice to the person you’ve disagreed with for the rest of your child’s time at primary school!

Lockheart · 05/03/2023 21:30

Well you're obviously not so scared to post that you can't start an entire thread.

Farmageddon · 05/03/2023 21:31

But you are posting...

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 21:32

No. Been called all sorts on here. Fat, a cunt, insane, a gaslighter, stupid, blind, a bad hostess, utterly amoral, insufficiently middle class etc etc. Never yet by anyone whose posting history gives me any reason to respect their view on anything.

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 21:33

Oh, and the other day someone said I was such a terrible person that she couldn't believe I really did have children.

lipstickwoman · 05/03/2023 21:33

Once you accept you're going to get responses that no one irl would really say you're ok. Take it all with a bucket of salt.

BatFaceOwl · 05/03/2023 21:34

@ReneBumsWombats what on earth are you posting to receive all that abuse?!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 05/03/2023 21:35

I've made lots of posts that have been fine then made one where people started making really horrible comments to me. It can got either way. Some people have been lovely to me in the past and really helpful

AceofPentacles · 05/03/2023 21:37

YANBU
The other week I posted innocently about getting into my pjs early and got a whole diatribe about how I was "fucking lazy" and I should "own it" 🤣

Echobelly · 05/03/2023 21:38

I think you just have to take a big breath and prepare for some blowback, even on subjects you thoughts pretty innocuous occasionally. Sometimes the harsh responses can have a point too!

Though I do laugh when sometimes I put a disclaimer in a first post like 'NB, for clarity, I am not saying X when I post about this' and then of course you get someone going 'OMG, I can't believe you are saying X' 😅

Original poster
Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:38

The tone can be harsh sometimes and not everyone is strong enough to take it sometimes.

OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 05/03/2023 21:38

I'm unsure why anyone would feel uncomfortable about posting on an anonymous internet forum. Even if the responses can be acerbic, it's not like you have to deal with any of the other users face to face, and if you don't like the general tone you can ignore/scroll past/log out/go somewhere else.

Different if you are concerned about how other users perceive you I suppose, but then I don't really understand that either. You could be any one of billions of other individuals on the planet, nobody is going to be any the wiser.

Original poster
Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:38

AceofPentacles · 05/03/2023 21:37

YANBU
The other week I posted innocently about getting into my pjs early and got a whole diatribe about how I was "fucking lazy" and I should "own it" 🤣

Lmao 🤣! Sometimes it's just funny

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 05/03/2023 21:42

When my DH was first taken ill, all through his journey to get a diagnosis and his life with cancer, then terminal cancer and a stroke I had some fantastic support from some wonderful posters on MN. There were a few who were unkind in the beginning but there were far more kind, compassionate posters than negative ones.

Original poster
Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:43

bloodywhitecat · 05/03/2023 21:42

When my DH was first taken ill, all through his journey to get a diagnosis and his life with cancer, then terminal cancer and a stroke I had some fantastic support from some wonderful posters on MN. There were a few who were unkind in the beginning but there were far more kind, compassionate posters than negative ones.

Good to hear about positive stories. God bless

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2023 21:44

Farmageddon · 05/03/2023 21:31

But you are posting...

It's almost metaphysical.

ouchmyteeth · 05/03/2023 21:44

Different point of views are fine but some posters are definitely unnecessary rude and horrible in a very out-of-proportion way to the original post.

Original poster
Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:45

ouchmyteeth · 05/03/2023 21:44

Different point of views are fine but some posters are definitely unnecessary rude and horrible in a very out-of-proportion way to the original post.

That's exactly what I mean!

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 21:45

BatFaceOwl · 05/03/2023 21:34

@ReneBumsWombats what on earth are you posting to receive all that abuse?!

Let's see...

Once, I said that I doubted that pouring your menstrual blood over your garden would have any significant effect on the plants. I was told I had a fat arse.

I'm anti smacking, very much so. That got me called insane and stupid and obviously unfit to hold a view on smacking, because I am traumatised by smacking. That was also when I was told I can't possibly really have children because I am so despicable.

I've been accused of gaslighting quite a few times for contradicting someone. Most recently it was in a discussion about boudoir photography.

Couldn't even begin to remember how many times I've been called a cunt.

Bad hostess because I have a shoeless house. Was also called "really fucking weird" because I have a basket of slippers for guests if they want them and "utterly grim" because clearly I'm lying about chucking them in the washing machine between uses.

cornflakegeneration · 05/03/2023 21:46

If someone responds to me in a dickish way, I just picture them as someone I know IRL who I have absolutely zero respect for and it just makes their comment laughable.

End of the day it's just words on a screen.

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 21:47

AceofPentacles · 05/03/2023 21:37

YANBU
The other week I posted innocently about getting into my pjs early and got a whole diatribe about how I was "fucking lazy" and I should "own it" 🤣

They're right, though. You should own it. It's fucking brilliant.

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 05/03/2023 21:47

Once, I said that I doubted that pouring your menstrual blood over your garden would have any significant effect on the plants. I was told I had a fat arse.*

😂 bloody hell this place is pure batshit perfection sometimes.

Original poster
Herthatry · 05/03/2023 21:47

@ReneBumsWombats oh wow 😯 that's a lot of abuse

OP posts:
stayoffmylawn · 05/03/2023 21:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.