What has happened to Mumsnet? So many horrible people on here

[Fedupwitheveryone]

Every thread I read seems to have a nasty comment or response straight off the bat. And so many responses seem to come from people jumping to irate conclusions without having read the OP's post properly. It's so tedious.

It hasn't always been this bad. It used to have genuinely useful advice and/or funny comments. What has changed?

I have no idea but I have noticed this about Reddit too recently. A few people are pushing back against the rudeness but mostly it either goes unchecked or people join in.

It’s just so unnecessary and makes these online places so unpleasant and I am gradually coming to a place where I just want to read all my saved threads and then permanently log off from these websites.

It’s not mumsnet as much as it’s people generally. There’s a lot of anger and frustration around and it’s ‘easy’ to lash out online, particularly anonymously.

Just talk to the nice people, plenty of them. I've been on here for 20 years and you can always find a supportive thread if you go looking.

Anonymity and ability to name change. People using forums to vent their true feelings they know wouldn’t be acceptable in real life.

Ive always believed no one hates women more than your average MNetter.

I think life is really hard for a lot of people these days and there's not much light in the world. An awful lot of people are feeling depressed, anxious and overwhelmed. The way they behave online is an expression of that.

My theory is that people are lying in wait ready to pounce! Just to have a pop at you. Without looking at the bigger picture.

It's not Mumsnet, it's society. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who think the easiest way to make themselves feel better is to make someone else feel shit.

I see it on here, in my local supermarket, at work, in the gym.

I think that part of it all, for me at least, is that I don’t want to have to ‘go looking’ for the nice friendly threads. I want the vast majority of them to be nice. I’ve seen threads about someone’s new dress or a question about a potential date, some really innocuous stuff, and it has the vilest posts on there by people who seem to have no desire to contribute anything meaningful, just to twist the knife in and rip someone’s thoughts to shreds. I mentioned Reddit because there and here are the only places I interact with social media, but it’s the same there. And when you gently point it out you are ripped to shreds yourself.

No, I don't think thats true.

There are some terrible answers to questions but that's not the same across the board. And I have found interesting and very informative posts.

I find this a useful and informative board generally but you will find very strange and generally opinions that differ .

C'est la vie

Yes there is a lot of nastiness indeed! I agree with the previous poster that said some people are waiting to pounce. Or they think they are being super witty by being unkind. The worst part is, sometimes it’s on a post where you can clearly see the op is vulnerable and in a bad place. It shouldn’t be the case that it’s more fool them for posting but it is gone a bit like that. And some people are obsessed with accusing others of drip feeding when they merely answered a question that revealed more detail, that is often irrelevant anyway!😂

It’s true there are more confrontational people and it really depends on the first responses. Eg at the moment there’s a really nice supportive thread about what to expect when you get your first supermarket delivery, which is patient and genuinely helpful for someone who’s a bit anxious about what to expect. But start it a minute earlier or later and the first post could have been “oh my god if you can’t cope with this what are you even doing booking a delivery?” and it’d be downhill from there. Some people are just trying to pick a fight, god knows why.

And I am SICK to the back teeth of someone describing a situation and being told it didn’t happen, it couldn’t happen and you’re a twat if you think anything like that ever happens. What the fuck is that about? But it’s on about half the threads here. Stop being so fucking contrary all the time. I swear I could start a thread about grass being green and I’d get some prick banging on about how actually it’s half blue and half yellow and did I even go to school?

I agree with this completely. It's why I've decided to wfh permanently from now on. Since covid, people are arseholes.

I've got a variety of topics hidden, including AIBU and Feminism, so they don't come up on my feed any more.

I think this is a bit extreme and unhealthy. You’re planning on just isolating yourself at home away from the rest of the world forever?

I've got lots hidden - Aibu, relationships, some of the devisive topics.... It's much nicer but still a bit catty at times.

I don’t notice a great deal of difference since I joined in 2011.

MN was absolutely vile about 18 years ago when I first discovered

Posters were a whole other level of vicious

I stopped coming on it for a few years

It's calmed down since then though

There's one of these threads every single day now

Agree OP. There’s a few mumsnetters who always post on relationship threads and EVERY time, no matter what the circumstances, they tell the OP that their bar is too low, they have no self-esteem, they are stupid to even think about staying with their partner because ‘he clearly doesn’t care about them’. It’s nasty, unpleasant and so totally unnecessary.

Same posters every time, repeating the same nasty comments to people who are having a really difficult and distressing time. It’s appalling. Interestingly I rarely see those posters on other threads, just the difficult relationship / ‘my husband has cheated’ ones.

I do wonder what has happened to those posters to make them like that.

So I suppose to me the nastiness I read now is nothing compared to the level it once was

Angry men being angry, sadly. It’s not important.

Was thinking that too 🙄

Well no, I do go out! I just don't really like people much any more. I've been wfh for a couple of years now, and I find life much easier when I only have to deal with people I actually like.

If you have enough people in one place a small percentage will always be twats.

I think there's a lot of men on here now who are doing their best to screw things up for women