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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not flushing the toilet at night

216 replies

ShillyShallySherbet · 08/02/2023 09:51

DH always goes to the toilet (No.1) in the night and doesn’t flush. I’ve asked him repeatedly to please flush as it doesn’t wake me or the children up and I find it really disgusting to find wee in the toilet in the morning. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and says he does it for environmental reasons not just as it might wake people up. Me and the children rarely go to the toilet in the night but on the rare occasions we do I always flush after. He says this wakes him up and I’m being unreasonable. I don’t want to budge and think he’s being unreasonable, so I’m putting it to the vote.

YANBU not flushing the toilet immediately after you’ve been is disgusting
YABU flushing the toilet at night is inconsiderate/bad for the environment

OP posts:
saveforthat · 08/02/2023 15:42

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 09:56

I don't like to get up in the morning to a toilet full of wee, it would make me vom, so we always flush in the night.

Just keep the lid shut and flush before looking. We never flush overnight fir the reasons your DH mentioned

saveforthat · 08/02/2023 15:45

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 08/02/2023 14:50

Someone's household needs to drink more water

Show quote history

And keep the lid shut. Do people not have a lid on the toilet seat?

mydogisthebest · 08/02/2023 15:47

georgarina · 08/02/2023 15:40

Some of my family members do this and when we went on holiday it completely stank, it was vile.

I also don't do it because we live in a very hard water area and it causes bad urine scale - I would have to clean the toilet bowl every morning.

I don't understand why it would smell. If my DH uses the loo in the night for a wee it doesn't smell in the morning.

Sometimes if he comes to bed quite a bit later than me he doesn't flush the loo as he knows it will wake me so then his wee is there all night. Still doesn't smell though.

We live in an extremely hard water area and have never had urine scale

SicParvisMagna · 08/02/2023 15:54

I do have to wonder how the human race has managed to survive this long if so many people find the sight of a little wee wee "disgusting". Get a flipping grip 🙄
If it smells you either need to see a doc or drink more water. Urine should not stink after a few hours in water unless you have health issues or your wee is dark in colour meaning again, you need to drink more.
No flushes here in the night unless I'm on my period because wee in the bowl is one thing but I do think that blood is a bit much in the morning. If I'm at home during the day which invariably I am, I don't flush after every time unless it's poo. Why do I need to? It's wee not radioactive material. My toilet bowl is clean because I clean the bloody thing. It's not hard. Some people are so utterly precious.

amusedbush · 08/02/2023 15:56

I quite often go to the toilet late at night and I don't flush it because I don't want to wake DH up. However, I'm up first every day without fail so it's me that deals with it in the morning.

DH is a bit scatter-brained and sometimes forgets to flush after a wee (if I had to guess, I'd say because he's distracted by the mirror at his eye level when he's standing in front of the toilet. He's like a budgie!) but it doesn't smell. I just tut a bit and get on with my day.

RandomUsernameHere · 08/02/2023 15:59

I'd be more annoyed to be woken by DH flushing the loo so would prefer him to leave it. If it doesn't wake you up though then it's not unreasonable to expect him to flush.

HikingforScenery · 08/02/2023 16:03

Yeah, I’m with your DH.
Yabvu

TallulahBetty · 08/02/2023 16:06

No night-flushes here, for number 1s anyway. Obviously we always flush for number 2s.

elm26 · 08/02/2023 16:10

Nope, don't flush after a wee at night unless it's time of the month but I'm pregnant at the moment so lots of night time wee's.

Flush in the morning and I always put a tiny bit of toilet cleaner down to soak before I leave for work.

lurchermummy · 08/02/2023 16:13

We never flush at night (for wee only). Put the lid down, then first person up in the morning gives it a flush.

phoenixrosehere · 08/02/2023 16:27

saveforthat · 08/02/2023 15:45

And keep the lid shut. Do people not have a lid on the toilet seat?

Show quote history

People do, but some seem to think leaving the toilet seat up is ok. My DH’s side does this and I have to tell him to please close the lid every time and even more so when he is about to flush. It’s a pita when the in-laws visit because they don’t close the lid in our home even though when they visit, it always is. I’ve gone in only to find FIL having left the toilet seat up and not flushing in the daytime. Don’t get why you wouldn’t. It’s rude not to.

new2mn · 08/02/2023 16:37

I'm on both your sides! I find the idea of waking up to a pee filled bowl gross, but I also can't bear to flush in case it wakes someone up (which I think is the likeliest reason for your DH). The sound doesn't wake others in the house up, but it does wake me up – so the thought of flushing and possibly waking someone up makes me feel way too guilty and stressed, even though that won't happen.

georgarina · 08/02/2023 16:43

mydogisthebest · 08/02/2023 15:47

I don't understand why it would smell. If my DH uses the loo in the night for a wee it doesn't smell in the morning.

Sometimes if he comes to bed quite a bit later than me he doesn't flush the loo as he knows it will wake me so then his wee is there all night. Still doesn't smell though.

We live in an extremely hard water area and have never had urine scale

Show quote history

All I can say is that's been my experience. Awful smell on holiday, and at home if one of my kids doesn't flush it starts scaling immediately.

Rewis · 08/02/2023 16:51

Why is flushing a waste of water at night but not during the day?

GraceandMolly · 08/02/2023 16:51

Simple solution. Walk in the toilet in the morning and flash before you look what’s inside. Job done.

We don’t flush at night.

Rewis · 08/02/2023 16:52

I'm ok with pee in the toilet if it's my own. But not with other people's. So I'm team flushing.

Mrsmch123 · 08/02/2023 16:57

We don't flush if it's a middle of the night pee but if it's before bed then we do. Not sure why we started not flushing as it doesn't wake my 19 month old.
however I would say get him to put the lid down and or he needs to flush it before you get up.

mydogisthebest · 08/02/2023 17:05

Rewis · 08/02/2023 16:51

Why is flushing a waste of water at night but not during the day?

I don't flush every time I wee during the day even though I only usually go about 3 or 4 times. It is just such a waste of water

FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 08/02/2023 17:15

I would object to No2 but not No1. It's all subjective though and if someone asked me to flush, I would. It's relatively minor and there are other ways he can save the planet!!

LindorDoubleChoc · 08/02/2023 17:19

We flush after every 2nd wee. Being put on a water meter really focused us and we are saving about £100 a year on what we previously paid. Still using the dishwasher and washing machine as normal.

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2023 17:29

I can't believe all these people who feel repulsed by the sight of a wee in a toilet bowl. Do you live on the same planet as me? Things that repulse me: the smell from the dog poo bin at the end of the road, the stench of council disinfectant mixed with human faeces in the multistory car park, the sight of maggots in the bottom of the wheelie bin in the summer or drips of bin juice landing on my foot, the grimness of a rotting cucumber from the veg drawer, the state of the unisex toilet in Costa coffee. If you balk at your husbands wee in the toilet how do you cope with the rest of the world?

windyarse · 08/02/2023 17:32

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2023 17:29

I can't believe all these people who feel repulsed by the sight of a wee in a toilet bowl. Do you live on the same planet as me? Things that repulse me: the smell from the dog poo bin at the end of the road, the stench of council disinfectant mixed with human faeces in the multistory car park, the sight of maggots in the bottom of the wheelie bin in the summer or drips of bin juice landing on my foot, the grimness of a rotting cucumber from the veg drawer, the state of the unisex toilet in Costa coffee. If you balk at your husbands wee in the toilet how do you cope with the rest of the world?

I have hyperosmia and while I don't know what the pre in the moring smells like because we are flushers, I think it's safe to assume other people may also have a heightened sense of smell.

Peachy2005 · 08/02/2023 17:40

Hubby’s pee stinks if it’s left overnight! I don’t think he ever drinks water except when playing sport. Told him last night he should just flush during night as he’s staining the toilet and I’m sick of scrubbing it…at least he closes the lid though.

Timeforachangeisitnot · 08/02/2023 17:54

Definitely flushers here; there’s just the 2 of us; we are not young; sometimes we both need to wee in the night. I have a very sensitive nose after extensive chemo, and stale urine smells bad to me.
To everyone saying it doesn’t - have you never smelled a men’s urinal ? Rank.

Moxysright · 08/02/2023 19:17

If it’s a wee we won’t flush with children in bed as it would disturb. But no way would I not flush a poo!