Not flushing the toilet at night

[ShillyShallySherbet]

DH always goes to the toilet (No.1) in the night and doesn’t flush. I’ve asked him repeatedly to please flush as it doesn’t wake me or the children up and I find it really disgusting to find wee in the toilet in the morning. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and says he does it for environmental reasons not just as it might wake people up. Me and the children rarely go to the toilet in the night but on the rare occasions we do I always flush after. He says this wakes him up and I’m being unreasonable. I don’t want to budge and think he’s being unreasonable, so I’m putting it to the vote.

YANBU not flushing the toilet immediately after you’ve been is disgusting
YABU flushing the toilet at night is inconsiderate/bad for the environment

Oh and our toilet is quite far away from the bedrooms. The other side of the house. But DH is a very light sleeper.

Yabu

YABU. I never wake in the night to use the loo and neither does DS, but if I did I wouldn’t flush. But then I worked for a water company for a while and this was one of the things they absolutely drilled into us. If everyone did it, the impact on the environment would be huge.

Surprised by the number of people "disgusted" at the sight of their OH's when they've probably had worse in their mouth 🤣

We don't flush at night generally

That's why you CLEAN a toilet.

We go by if it's yellow let it mellow. I usually flush in the morning and once in the day if needed.

It's very wasteful to flush after every wee. Even every other wee would make a difference.

We only have one Earth, spare a thought for the natural world, for our children's sake if nothing else.

YABVU. So much water is wasted with just one flush, and you and the environment are paying for it. You have just been conditioned to think it’s disgusting and it’s really not that bad, if it’s just over night, and if it’s just wee.

The average style toilet, uses on average- give or take, around 12litres of water per 1 single flush!!! That’s the equivalent of over 25 pints of water! That’s madness. Wasting all that precious water to flush away a bit of wee.

I get your DH’s point about the noise / environment.

But having said that, the smell tends to bother me if someone leaves the toilets not flushed, so I generally flush the toilet for that reason.

We used to do this when the DC were small (wee only) but due to limescale the toilet got stained easily

I never flush in the night. I can hear next door if they flush si I wouldn't want them a) to know I am peeing and b) to disturb then

I don't flush in the night because I'm paranoid about waking the kids up. It sounds to me like he should be flushing, and you shouldn't, given that it wakes him up but doesn't wake you and the kids up. I think avoiding waking people should be the priority over flushing every time.

YANBU. I find it disgusting too.

Thanks everyone, it seems the majority think I am being unreasonable and I take that on board. I will ask him if he can please put the lid down after going to the toilet in the night and I won’t flush in the night anymore.

If it’s yellow let it mellow
If it’s brown flush it down

We don’t flush wees at night as we have a pump.

I think you should push yourself to get over this and try to live with it. Ask him to put the lid down.

At what point are you willing to accept a tiny little inconvenience to yourself to start helping the environment?

Honestly, this isn’t a big issue. Live with it.

There are too many things people find disgusting and which result in behaviours which mean we are wrecking the planet. Shouldn’t we all try to reduce water usage etc and accept that some of the things we think are ‘dirty’ are things we should live with?

Does his wee stink or something? If he drinks plenty of water and his wee is normal then I don't understand the issue at all. Why do you find his wee so disgusting? I mean this is someone you have sex with and probably give blow jobs to - you've had worse in your mouth! I can't see why you would find a bit of his wee so disgusting.

In which case he might as well do it in the night after he's had his wee.

We don’t flush wee in the night.

I am very sensitive to smells so although I wouldn’t say it stinks I can smell it in the morning.

This is an excellent point, if it’s going to be flushed down in the morning anyway then how is it helping the environment to leave it?

I agree that men’s wee smells stronger, but I’d rather leave it than have the flush noise in the night.
Everyone should put the lid down when they’re done.

We had a saying growing up, If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down!😆

Seems like the obvious solution is for him to flush (as it’ll get flushed in the morning anyhow, and he’s hardly going to wake himself up) — but for you and the dc, on the rare occasions you go at night, not to flush out of consideration for his sleep.

I think I'm with the majority OP.

We never flush at night for wees and both me and DH go at least once. We just keep the lid down and whoever goes in first in the morning flushes.

I would be super annoyed if my DH started flushing as it wakes me up and sometimes wakes our toddler too.

And yes to environmental impact of so much water waste