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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not flushing the toilet at night

216 replies

ShillyShallySherbet · 08/02/2023 09:51

DH always goes to the toilet (No.1) in the night and doesn’t flush. I’ve asked him repeatedly to please flush as it doesn’t wake me or the children up and I find it really disgusting to find wee in the toilet in the morning. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and says he does it for environmental reasons not just as it might wake people up. Me and the children rarely go to the toilet in the night but on the rare occasions we do I always flush after. He says this wakes him up and I’m being unreasonable. I don’t want to budge and think he’s being unreasonable, so I’m putting it to the vote.

YANBU not flushing the toilet immediately after you’ve been is disgusting
YABU flushing the toilet at night is inconsiderate/bad for the environment

OP posts:
sunnydayhereandnow · 08/02/2023 09:53

If it's yellow, let it mellow... YABU, I personally don't flush after every single pee as it's a massive waste of freshwater.

Xrays · 08/02/2023 09:54

I think if it doesn’t wake anyone up then he should flush. We can’t flush at night in our house as we have a son with autism who has a diagnosed sleep disorder and he wakes with the smallest sound.

TheFlis12345 · 08/02/2023 09:56

We don’t flush after a wee at night. It started when we had an en suite with noisy cistern but became a habit. It’s so much better for the environment not to flush after every wee.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 09:56

I don't like to get up in the morning to a toilet full of wee, it would make me vom, so we always flush in the night.

YourWinter · 08/02/2023 09:56

There is nothing “disgusting” about leaving urine in the loo. It’s a ridiculous waste of water to flush away every wee, and much worse if you’re the kind of person who feels compelled to flush a load of chemical cleaning products each time too.

Sunriseinwonderland · 08/02/2023 09:57

It eventually stains the toilet.

Propagandalf · 08/02/2023 09:57

Sod Greta.

Not flushing the toilet is grim, whatever time of the day it is.

Horizons83 · 08/02/2023 09:58

I'm with you OP, it's disgusting to come across someone else's wee.

sunnydayhereandnow · 08/02/2023 09:58

Sunriseinwonderland · 08/02/2023 09:57

It eventually stains the toilet.

Not if you clean the toilet here and there (and I'm hardly a clean freak).

Luredbyapomegranate · 08/02/2023 09:58

It's a waste to flush every time you wee.

But unless you two are ten.. you shouldn't be falling out over it.

MrBallensWife · 08/02/2023 09:59

We (DD9 and I) never flush during the night,if it was a number 2 then I would,otherwise I find it a waste of water.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 08/02/2023 09:59

We don't flush in the night here. And didn't when growing up either.

Hyperion100 · 08/02/2023 10:00

I pee about 10 times a day. My conscience wont have me wasting 5 litres of water per flush.

meetmeatmidnights · 08/02/2023 10:00

I think if flushing wakes him up in the night it's unreasonable to do it, when it causes zero harm leaving it until the morning. It's best just to have a rule of not flushing in the night for everyone rather than he can flush because it doesn't wake you guys and you shouldn't flush because it'll wake him, it's begging for confusion.

We don't flush at night unless it's a poo in this house!

WhatNoRaisins · 08/02/2023 10:01

Could a compromise be that he leaves the lid down and you flush first thing?

ShillyShallySherbet · 08/02/2023 10:01

We haven’t fallen out but usually we can come to an agreement on this but this is one issue we both won’t back down on. Looks like I might have to concede defeat though by the looks of the vote but I really do find it disgusting.

OP posts:
Fireingrate · 08/02/2023 10:02

Just close the lid after the wee, then flush as soon as you go into the Loo in the morning ( before seeing). Then you don’t see the wee.

YABVU to wake your H by flushing ( as he said that wakes him).

ShillyShallySherbet · 08/02/2023 10:02

WhatNoRaisins · 08/02/2023 10:01

Could a compromise be that he leaves the lid down and you flush first thing?

Yes this is a good idea. He doesn’t put the lid down on the toilet ever which also makes me 🤢 so maybe I can suggest this. Thanks

OP posts:
Couchpotato3 · 08/02/2023 10:03

Can't you send him in to flush in the morning before you use the bathroom, then everyone is happy?

JenniferBarkley · 08/02/2023 10:03

YABVU to wake your H by flushing ( as he said that wakes him).

This. If it doesn't wake the rest of you then I don't think it's a big deal what he does during the night, but the rest of you knowingly waking him is just mean.

(No flushing overnight here unless absolutely necessary due to small children. No one has died and the loo remains white.)

MudLady · 08/02/2023 10:03

We only flush night time wee if it's absolutely necessary - I.e. a smell from a few visits. One wee isn't a problem. Wasteful.

CatNamedBob · 08/02/2023 10:03

We always flush, I would hate finding a loo full of wee!

Ponoka7 · 08/02/2023 10:04

Do what's been suggested. You and the children don't flush and he puts the lid down, so flush before going in the morning.

GrohlOnAPole · 08/02/2023 10:04

We leave toilet overnight unless it’s a poo (though would probably use downstairs toilet in this case and flush wouldn’t disturb anyone).

ShillyShallySherbet · 08/02/2023 10:05

Just to say it is very very rare that me and children go in the night be he goes every night without fail.

OP posts:
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