Not flushing the toilet at night

[ShillyShallySherbet]

DH always goes to the toilet (No.1) in the night and doesn’t flush. I’ve asked him repeatedly to please flush as it doesn’t wake me or the children up and I find it really disgusting to find wee in the toilet in the morning. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and says he does it for environmental reasons not just as it might wake people up. Me and the children rarely go to the toilet in the night but on the rare occasions we do I always flush after. He says this wakes him up and I’m being unreasonable. I don’t want to budge and think he’s being unreasonable, so I’m putting it to the vote.

YANBU not flushing the toilet immediately after you’ve been is disgusting
YABU flushing the toilet at night is inconsiderate/bad for the environment

We don’t flush in the night as it wakes us up.

We never flush during the night so that we don't wake anyone up. I can't understand all the angst. Whoever goes first in the morning flushes. We've survived so far.

I think you need to get a grip OP. Some wee in the toilet for a few hours is hardly a big deal.

Honestly, these posts claiming absolute disgust over something so fucking banal..

Wow, really split down the middle here. Neither of us flush at night for fear of waking the other... just how men 'tend' to aim for the sides so as not to make that loud sploshing sound when they wee.

I can see both sides. If it doesn't wale anyone, maybe just need to get over that 'muscle memory' habit of not flushing during the night.

This is us too.

Lid should be down after use anyway. It's a bacteria riddled toilet

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/bacteria-toilets-flush-lid-closed-b1535481.html

YABU I don't flush at night

Did you know it's illegal to flush the loo after 10pm at night in Switzerland? Not sure if it's everywhere in Switzerland but certainly in some cantons.

We don't flush wees at night time, only poos. During day, we flush after a few wees. Just helps to use less water. Toilet is cleaned frequently though!

Every time I use the loo I flush it. So do DH and the DC. We don't really want to see a toilet bowel full of everyone's wee first thing in the morning.
That said it's rare for any of us to get up in the night for the loo is that a rarity?

Isn't a bit unusual to have to go every single night? Could this indicate a problem? Or suggest he doesn't drink too much in the hours before bed.

<makes note not to take a night shift job in Switzerland>

I thought that. But one thread I read loads of people take loads of water to bed with them.

We leave wee overnight. Ridiculous waste of resources otherwise.

I'm a flusher. Yanbu.

I think if he's having to get up every night, especially for a "strong" wee, he should see the doctor. Just in case.

No real feelings one way or the other tbh. If it genuinely doesn’t wake you and the kids up then he could flush I suppose. Could the compromise be that he puts loo roll down the loo so it’s not so noticeable? I mean, kids waking up unnecessarily in the night is horrible, even if it doesn’t happen very often. I’d rather have wee in the toilet than deal with a screaming child.

Maybe he can pee in a sealed container and dispose of it himself in the morning....

The noise isn't an issue so let's ignore that. I don't think it's disgusting to leave wee in the toilet for a bit to save water, especially 'family' wee. Is it because its the first thing you see in the morning? A compromise could be that he ensures he's up first so you won't be privy to what occurs throughout the night.
Lots of folk do this a night mainly because of the noise. Do you notice him doing it eg during the evening?

Slight aside but whilst it's common to get up in the night for a wee, it's not 'normal'. I generally have a last wee around midnight. I rarely wake up to pee.

I find that disgusting too. Hygiene comes first as far as I am concerned.

You have my sympathy OP.

We only ever flush after a few wees. Time of day is immaterial. Unless we have guests or are guests.

If me or DH go to the loo in the night we never flush if it's just pee. Don't flush every time we wee during the day either. Do people not care about the waste of water, especially the people that pee so many times a day?

But that defeats the reasoning. He doing it to not waste water. This would mean you wasting water instead. Depending on ages, let kids wee first thing or him. As long as you're not first to see it.
I definitely feel he's accommodating you

There’s nothing unhygienic about not flushing the household toilet immediately after a wee though… And it saves water. And avoids waking family members.

if the noise wakes a family member I’d put that priority above leaving wee in the loo a few hours. I’d say op was unreasonable to override dh for something more annoying than leaving a flush.

We've never flushed the loo after a wee at night because the sound of the cistern refilling from the tank in the loft wakes everyone else up. But until last summers heatwave and drought, when we went the "if it's yellow let it mellow" route we did flush every time during the day. That habit has stuck. Firstly it's better to use less water, and secondly there seems much less limescale to clean up. We live in a very hard water area, and I can only assume that flushing every time thus using more water gives more limescale to dump itself out in the toilet. There are no smell problems. Toilet lids are kept closed after use. Works for us.