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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's acceptable for my DN to wear a body suit with no Bra?

224 replies

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/08/2022 11:09

I would like some perspective on this please. Niece is 17 wearing an all in one body suit with no Bra on holiday, bra size is 30 a/b. Occasionlly you could see nipple through top.
Is it acceptable for family member to tell her to put a top on over bodysuit to cover up?

OP posts:
pointythings · 19/08/2022 11:10

Nope. It's entirely up to her. The nipple is covered. Get the fuck over yourself and stop body shaming women.

neverwakeasleepingdragon · 19/08/2022 11:12

If she's a 17-year old with an A cup, she can get away with whatever she damn well likes.

She won't be quite so lucky when she's older, but for now, she doesn't need the support of a bra and she can enjoy being so perky without one (and not being jabbed with wires). Being able to go bra-free in hot weather is such a gift.

I can't do the same (gravity and cup size say no), but I'll defend her right to do so!

BorschtBitch · 19/08/2022 11:13

Do you mean they could see an erect nipple or the areola colour and diameter through her top? Because my nipples poke through even padded bras 😐
I think some bodysuits are more covered up than others so need more description or a photo. I think too much unnecessary nudity on holiday or not is vulgar.

Abcdefgh1234 · 19/08/2022 11:13

I really hate how teenager dress this day. If i’m in your position i just tell her nicely to put the bra on. But not pushy or anything. Just mention it nicely. Dont expect her to listen to you though.

Maireas · 19/08/2022 11:13

Interesting 🤔
How do you know your niece's bra size?
Why are you staring at her?

RocketPanda · 19/08/2022 11:13

It's her choice whether to wear a bra or not. I find them uncomfortable and haven't worn one in years. If someone is so offended by nipples then that's something amiss in them.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/08/2022 11:13

It’s up to her! Your relative needs to wind their neck in.

RewildingAmbridge · 19/08/2022 11:14

Before DS I rarely wore a bra A/B cup, it felt like unnecessary decoration. Went up a couple of sizes after BF so I do more often than not now.
She wasn't topless!

moksorineouimoksori · 19/08/2022 11:15

Is it acceptable for family member to tell her to put a top on over bodysuit to cover up?

Absolutely not. So what, she has nipples, we all bloody do! She is trying to have a good time on holiday wearing what is comfortable for her. Family member is a total dickhead shaming her for the great crime of being born with a body. I'd be having a word with my DN telling her to take absolutely no notice and what a cock I think Family member is.

BorschtBitch · 19/08/2022 11:15

From a fashion sense she may get away with more fashion and be excused for fashion fauxpas for her age but it's naive to assume her body won't make others uncomfortable or get her negative attention from perverts. It's totally untrue to assume you can wear whatever you like without judgment or consequences. I'm not saying it's right to be harassed for your clothes but it's also unrealistic to expect provocative looks not to get attention and comments. We are animals at the end of the day.

Changechangychange · 19/08/2022 11:16

Depends on how you define nipple being “seen” - outline showing because nipples stick out - fine. Actual visible nipple because the material is too thin and goes see-through in the light? I probably would suggest she should wear something over the top, yes.

Wouldn’t care on a night out, but on a family holiday I wouldn’t want my child wearing a see-through top. It’s tacky.

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 19/08/2022 11:17

Personally, I think if she is showing her nipples, she should wear a bra. Of course the choice is hers, but does she (or her parents) really want a bunch of old leches looking at her visible breasts through her top? It's not the best, is it?

Original poster
Sunshineandrainbow · 19/08/2022 11:17

BorschtBitch · 19/08/2022 11:13

Do you mean they could see an erect nipple or the areola colour and diameter through her top? Because my nipples poke through even padded bras 😐
I think some bodysuits are more covered up than others so need more description or a photo. I think too much unnecessary nudity on holiday or not is vulgar.

Errect nipple, body suit was dark colour and not see through.

OP posts:
Abraxan · 19/08/2022 11:18

Is the top transparent so can see the flesh underneath it or is it just that sometimes you can see the shape of her nipple against the material? Is it really obvious or only if someone is staring?

Does the family member tell the males to ensure the outline of their nipples are covered and not showing?

In the summer I often don't wear a bra. I do have some nipple covers I use with some thinner tops, but that's my own preference.

BorschtBitch · 19/08/2022 11:18

My DD is an A cup and definitely can't 'get away' with not wearing a bra. You can still see the outline and shape and movement of the breasts. I wish everyone would wear a bra tbh but I know it won't happen so I avert my eyes. I know pervy men wouldn't though so i would hate for my DD to dress like that.
Interestingly I find a cleavage less sexual than braless with areola colour showing or breast swinging around.

RocketPanda · 19/08/2022 11:19

So a woman or girl having a body can make others uncomfortable or invite unwanted attention. Got it. I'll remember to leave mine at home.

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 19/08/2022 11:19

And actually, whilst many will say she can wear whatever the hell she wants, how would you feel, if a 50 year old man wore tight mesh shorts, which clearly showed the outline of his penis? I doubt that would be very well received.

Changechangychange · 19/08/2022 11:20

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/08/2022 11:17

Errect nipple, body suit was dark colour and not see through.

Show quote history

Fair enough, family member was the unreasonable one then.

10HailMarys · 19/08/2022 11:20

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/08/2022 11:17

Errect nipple, body suit was dark colour and not see through.

Show quote history

Oh ffs, then no, family members should absolutely not be telling her to wear a bra or cover up, and they also need to stop staring at teenagers' tits.

Motnight · 19/08/2022 11:20

BorschtBitch · 19/08/2022 11:13

Do you mean they could see an erect nipple or the areola colour and diameter through her top? Because my nipples poke through even padded bras 😐
I think some bodysuits are more covered up than others so need more description or a photo. I think too much unnecessary nudity on holiday or not is vulgar.

Where's the nudity?

noclothesinbed · 19/08/2022 11:22

No my daughter is same age she often has her nipples showing. Good on her she can carry it off

Interestinghmm · 19/08/2022 11:23

Not acceptable to tell her to cover up. Having a bit of nipple occasionally poke into a top is a crazy thing to get up in arms about. She's a grown woman.

BaronessBomburst · 19/08/2022 11:24

You can see most men's nipples through their t-shirts. Maybe they should all put a bra on too?

RocketPanda · 19/08/2022 11:25

How do you feel about public breastfeeding @BorschtBitch ? Sometimes the nipple gets a good airing before you can get a baby latched on.

10HailMarys · 19/08/2022 11:26

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 19/08/2022 11:19

And actually, whilst many will say she can wear whatever the hell she wants, how would you feel, if a 50 year old man wore tight mesh shorts, which clearly showed the outline of his penis? I doubt that would be very well received.

She's not wearing anything 'mesh' or see-through, though, as the OP has pointed out. What she's wearing is more akin to men wearing slim-fit jeans - you can certainly an outline of mens' bits in loads of perfectly normal jeans or trousers, (and obviously also when they're in swimming trunks on the beach or at the pool). Perfectly normal.