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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you orgasm during sex

278 replies

Tootaloo · 18/12/2021 21:36

This is something that's always made me feel different to other women, for some reason. I've NEVER been able to orgasm during sex, ever. Or through any type of penetration.

Is this quite common?

YABU - Yes, you're able to
YANBU - No, you can't either

If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
Trinacham · 18/12/2021 21:38

What do you mean by sex? Do you mean by penetrative only? As for most of us this will make
a difference to the answer

Witchcraftandhokum · 18/12/2021 21:39

Yes, but I'm bloody lucky.

Original poster
Tootaloo · 18/12/2021 21:39

My apologies. As in full-on intercourse, vaginally sex.

Penis in vagina

OP posts:
TheCatInTheChat · 18/12/2021 21:39

If you mean just from penetration - then no.
But if you define sex as the whole process - then yes.

RealBecca · 18/12/2021 21:41

Yanbu that its not uncommon.

I almost always do. But i feel confident in my wobbly body and we do it infrequently (once a month). I think the novelty helps!

Lifeispassingby · 18/12/2021 21:41

Yabu- I always orgasm in sex without fail. In fact it is pretty much the only way I can

Cotswoldmama · 18/12/2021 21:42

Yes and nearly always.

esloquehay · 18/12/2021 21:42

Never once during sex. Only through masturbation.

BirdsRoundandRound · 18/12/2021 21:43

YANBU I have to touch myself at the same time or it wont happen. Which mean only certain positions work! Missionary is out.

DancingintheSpoonlight · 18/12/2021 21:43

I can't just from him thrusting...

But with enough foreplay and him "adding other activities" while thrusting...yes.

BirdsRoundandRound · 18/12/2021 21:44

Also really interested with those who say they can - is it literally just the PIV bit that works for you, with no clitoral stimulation needed?

Wookiewoo29 · 18/12/2021 21:44

Never during sex. Honestly thought I was broken and it's always bothered me.

LadyCampanulaTottington · 18/12/2021 21:44

Yea but I need a vibrator to do so.

PieMistee · 18/12/2021 21:44

Only about twice, for PIV to work need a little clitoris vibrator.

TurnUpTurnip · 18/12/2021 21:45

No never, I thought it was common not to though?

feedmemincepies · 18/12/2021 21:45

I think maybe twice in 30 years but only because I got almost all the way there through oral first.
Now every time - get a we-vibe, it's amazing.

Cas112 · 18/12/2021 21:46

I never orgasm from penis in vagina, just oral or fingering or both together

Trinacham · 18/12/2021 21:46

@Tootaloo

My apologies. As in full-on intercourse, vaginally sex.

Penis in vagina

Ah, then no YANBU. I'm pretty sure it's something like 80% of us that can't, so you don't need to feel different to the majority!
Original poster
Tootaloo · 18/12/2021 21:47

@Wookiewoo29

Never during sex. Honestly thought I was broken and it's always bothered me.
Same!!! I honestly can't orgasm during sex, the sensation just isn't there at all.

I also have to have my legs closed to orgasm, is that weird?

OP posts:
MollyQueenOfSocks · 18/12/2021 21:48

Yes, but not just through him thrusting in and out. His pelvic bone hits against my clit, or if I am on top I am hitting or grinding against him.

If it were a position where this wasn't happening I wouldn't orgasm through just penetration alone (although I can get close)a

Deadringer · 18/12/2021 21:48

Usually only if i am on my side, face to face, that does the trick. Any other angle/position, only very occasionaly. Dh always makes sure i come before piv though, so its a bonus when it happens.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/12/2021 21:49

@BirdsRoundandRound

Also really interested with those who say they can - is it literally just the PIV bit that works for you, with no clitoral stimulation needed?
Yes. But only with DH. Never before with anyone else. Can’t explain it.
Original poster
Tootaloo · 18/12/2021 21:50

@feedmemincepies

I think maybe twice in 30 years but only because I got almost all the way there through oral first. Now every time - get a we-vibe, it's amazing.
Just googled this! Which one would you recommend?
OP posts:
Idolovetrees · 18/12/2021 21:51

Unfortunately for me no, never. I've only been able to do it on my own and now there's the association that it's something that I only do alone and that's hard to break. I have tried to let go but I just can't. I've not orgasmed with anyone. I love my husband and we do have satisfying sex, but it just doesn't happen. It's quite sad really. I am quite a sensitive and anxious personality though anyway and find it hard to let go.

Divebar2021 · 18/12/2021 21:52

This is something that's always made me feel different to other women, for some reason

Just out of interest where are you getting your information that everyone else can? Through films and TV? I’ve met more than one man who’s convinced that all their sexual partners have come through PIV and I’m pretty sure that won’t be the case.