To ask if you orgasm during sex

[Tootaloo]

This is something that's always made me feel different to other women, for some reason. I've NEVER been able to orgasm during sex, ever. Or through any type of penetration.

Is this quite common?

YABU - Yes, you're able to
YANBU - No, you can't either

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Vagina don't have anything that could cause an orgasm.

The "arms" of the clitoris reach down the sides of the vagina, so that's not entirely true.

I’m in the minority - I can orgasm from PIV and find clitoral stimulation far too intense to be pleasurable.

The majority of women don't. Buy a bullet, use it during sex, for most women the problem is solved.

I find it much harder to orgasm with anything in my vagina at all. I'd query that 'most women' do or feel anything - sex is incredibly, frustratingly individual.

Only if I'm on top. Then the friction on my clitoris improves and off I go.

@TrishM80

If PIV is not a regular source of orgasm for women, then why is so much importance placed on penis size?!

I don't think it can cause the orgasm by just pumping vaginally but if the orgasm is triggered in other ways it definitely enhances the sensations if there is something large inside for the vagina to grip as it pulsates.

I've finally realised that sex was still worth it to me even through 32 years of never orgasming with a partner, and will always be worth it even though I doubt PIV will ever get me there, because penetration is an uniquely intense and special sensation which I miss badly if I don't have. I am very happy with almost any size penis because they have individual properties and don't actually vary that much when erect, but I must say there is a little something special when the larger sizes are involved.

@TrishM80 - There are many satisfied lesbians and bi women with female partners who don’t obsess about penis size.

@TrishM80

If PIV is not a regular source of orgasm for women, then why is so much importance placed on penis size?!

Not having an orgasm doesn't mean not experiencing pleasure. Penis size isn't VERY important but it does matter.

@Voice0fReason ???? how? you lost me on that one, if no orgasm then its nothing more than in and out in and out til hes done and its very very boring

Some penises can be too big (they have hurt me) but in my experience size has very little to do with pleasure. The best bits of stimulation are not up by my cervix.

I always come during intercourse bit I als play with myself during, I can’t come without either intercourses or playing, I need both.

I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment with this with my ex and thought something was wrong with me as I needed both to come. But the more I’ve learned the more it is normal and i am fine

i can but only in certain positions where you get the friction in particular places juuuuust right.

More commonly though i get there during foreplay.

im aware that i CAN get there purely through PIV thanks to certain toys and experimenting, but i have yet to find a man with those er..exact proportions to test it out with xD

Yes, in certain positions with lots of foreplay. Otherwise I come before or after the PiV bit. Unless its a morning quicky, when I don't come but it puts a spring in my step for the day 🤣

@StationaryMagpie

i can but only in certain positions where you get the friction in particular places juuuuust right.

More commonly though i get there during foreplay.

what friction? there isnt any!

I've not read the whole thread, but glancing at the comments and lookin at the votes it is much as I'd have expected based on my personal experience, and discussions with close friends at different times

• Everyone can cum solo
• The majority need something else + PIV
• Minority can orgasm with PIV

Even thought it is much as expected, I think the variation from the posters is very interesting, and shows how different we are. That's a big plus for MN! There is often more than one solution!

If I’ve had an orgasm through foreplay then I will have another through PIV alone after. In fact, that’s my preference to do this.

(Not having a medical background) I'd assume that the underlying physiological mechanism is the same whether PIV or not. Perhaps some couples are just a better "fit" or not?

Regardless, the way things are portrayed in movies is just so so different to the typical experience described in this thread :(

Must be really challenging for the person who never had one. I did not know that was a thing, other than medical issue, or too much alcohol. I'd find it really strange being with a man that never came (I get that it happens sometimes). Sadly, I'm fairly sure the relationship would have ended, I would have thought something is very wrong.

I assume the underlying physical mechanism is much the same, but I think a lot will vary according to anyone's individual physiology just as some people have shorter legs or skinny fingers or whatever other variations. Plus a lot of it is mental and there's probably even more differences between each of us there. Not to mention the effects of medications and a million other things...

@takenforgrantednana er.. well, if you're just sticking it in and staying completely still, then no, there isn't any friction.

The clitoris is more than just the bundle of nerves at the head. It also has kind of.. wings? i guess, that come back towards the opening of the vagina, those bits swell, which is what makes a womans entrance appear 'tight' and why penetration during proper arousal can be pleasurable.

If you one of the lucky ones, friction against those wings/arms/whatever of erectile tissue that make up the body of the whole clitoris at your entrance can bring about orgasm.

I can if I am on top. It happened once in a different position but I think it was pure fluke.

@StationaryMagpie of course he moves. but it aint under any wildest way pleasureable and nothing swells up down there that i know about

Only through masturbation or oral sex.

I spent years not being able to orgasm through penetration and thought I was just one of those women who couldn't.
For me, it was finding the right partner and it can orgasm either way now or have an (amazing) double orgasm