To ask if you orgasm during sex

[Tootaloo]

This is something that's always made me feel different to other women, for some reason. I've NEVER been able to orgasm during sex, ever. Or through any type of penetration.

Is this quite common?

YABU - Yes, you're able to
YANBU - No, you can't either

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I can have both clitoral and vaginal orgasms quite easily, but vaginal only with a vibrator or dildo. Never managed a vaginal one with a partner of either sex, to my great disappointment. But I come very easily (too easily in fact) from any clitoral stimulation during sex. Unusually, I’m not that fussed about cunnilingus, because I usually come too fast before it’s barely started!

I’ve also a few times had with a vibrator what I later discovered must be a cervical orgasm - like a vaginal orgasm, but in a completely different place right up by/in the cervix. The first time I was so shocked, I had no idea what had just happened. I’ve only been able to make it happen a few times, unfortunately - usually when my cervix has been particularly low due to the time of the month.

@DixonD same for me as well. I’m super confused by it

@threebillboards

Yes. I wouldn't bother if I didn't

EXACTLY! I don't do it to make babies... God the times it's resulted in a pet 🤣

Lockheart I'm not sure what harm I'm at risk of by describing my orgasm to strangers on the internet. If someone wants to jizz on their phone over my ease of orgasm by PIV then so what? They can jizz away.

Dream orgasms- The nearest I've had is I'm just about to, then I wake up. Grr!

@BirdsRoundandRound

Also really interested with those who say they can - is it literally just the PIV bit that works for you, with no clitoral stimulation needed?

with the right position you are getting clitoral stimulation .

I can’t from oral or vibrators. I can from PIV but I’m too tired to always get there

@HaaaaaveyoumetTed

Well, the piv does stimulate the clitoris for me.

Exactly - it all pulls on the area .

Sex is incredibly important in my LTR (12 years) it wasn't in my marriage and I definitely think this is the glue for me.

I never have with PIV, although I do love PIV for many other reasons. Only with clitoral stimulation, usually afterwards from either of us once I've heated up a bit IYSWIM. Then I ejaculate 9/10. My partner is in awe- loves it!

I do occasionally...but I'm talking about once or twice a year. I have to be exceptionally relaxed, with no kids in the house and generally in a very low stress mood. It doesn't bother me though because dh can make me orgasm in other ways. I've just always found reaching orgasm through intercourse a bit more difficult. Most of the friends I've spoken to about this are similar.

I can totally organise from PIV alone. Read the book 'vagina' as whether you can or can't is largely explained by anatomy. Something about distance from vagina opening to clitoris tip or some such. I got lucky I think!

My son is due home from university and I was about to collect him on Tuesday. He now tells me that one of his house mates has tested positive for covid. My husband tells me he thinks he should not come home for christmas. I'm willing to take the risk. What would you do in my shoes?

Every time. I wouldn’t even bother if I didn’t.

I can orgasm from PIV but usually need clitoral stimulation as well. I also have orgasms in my sleep.

The clitoral/vaginal orgasm thing was hotly debated back in the 70s, but all my friends concluded -independently!- that it was all about rub rub, in out, maybe O, maybe not. All very inexperienced brides. I was of advanced years when I discovered that the secret is actually not mechanical but a number of factors. Mainly, vaginal orgasms are so incredibly different from clitoral. So much longer, stronger, and result in female ejaculation. Provided the male partner is prepared to be still, and focus his pleasure on the pleasure of his woman. Deep understanding, love, passion and melting into each other. Wish I'd known all this stuff as a young 'un.

I can. It can be a more powerful one, with something to grip on. But when I mentally let go, it can be quite easy for me, and I don't necessarily need direct stimulation at all. I don't know how that happens, but occasionally it does. Dream orgasms are annoying, because I usually miss whatever my subconscious was playing in the dream as the build-up.

Not through just sex, but with a little vibrator + sex, every single time without fail, multiple times!

You just need to stimulate yourself with your fingers whilst having sex, find a position that works for this. Always works for me

I usually do, but most easily in the 'prone bone' position. G-spot orgasms from piv definitely feel more intense and satisfying

@rachsund strange question on an orgasm thread

Yes fairly regularly like some PPs I have both vaginal and clitoral orgasms.

I largely climax through oral and other stimulation. It happens quite easily though and for the big one l have to hold back and not let go too soon. I’m puzzled by the phrase “during sex” though. It is so wrong. Sex is not one compartmentalised thing solely related to insertion. It is the whole act.

For starters, to focus solely on insertion in isolation would suggest that lesbian women or others with a same gender partner are not having sex. Wrong surely!

raschund whatever you decide, just don’t show either of them they thread 😆

What on Earth is “prone bone”? My Google history is shortly getting wiped.

@Lockheart

Rude

With all due respect, nobody asked you to comment in the thread, you could always just move on to the next one if you don't like what you're reading, surely?

This thread is what is so valuable about MN, it shows people posting a whole range of experiences. While there are some common threads, it also shows the huge variety. It's an important topic, and great is not hidden away in the Sex topic section.

Yes, there is indeed a risk it can be wank fodder, no more so than the Relationship section can be misery fodder. I have a few RL friends on the forum, but have NCed for this post.

The @Echobelly post resonated with me (great band btw!) but only in some ways. I'd had a sexually repressed upbringing, assaulted as a teenager, religious environment and was not very body confident.

My friends would talk about masturbation, orgasm, and I generally avoid the discussions. I'll be honest and say it was a problem with my first serious BF, and later with DH. Looking back, being with a longer term partner that does not orgasm must be difficult (if sex is an important part of your life).

It was a journey for me. In my 50s, with kids older, after some health issues, and a change to a new GP (younger, female), starting HRT that I took the time to explore, try things, and figure out how I worked. So I my first orgasm in my 50s. I know myself/body better than any time in my like, and I mean in general terms with respect to food, drink, exercise, sleep and so on.

In summary, I think there is a lot to be done with respect to education and female sexuality. More should be covered in schools for sure, but I think media/books/TV have a role too. Also GPs could be more supportive too.