To ask if you orgasm during sex

[Tootaloo]

This is something that's always made me feel different to other women, for some reason. I've NEVER been able to orgasm during sex, ever. Or through any type of penetration.

Is this quite common?

YABU - Yes, you're able to
YANBU - No, you can't either

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It’s a design flaw, the clitoris is outside the main action during penetration. As a pp says, the coital alignment technique can assist.

Yes but I know how lucky I am

Are they much different to one another? Always been curious to know that

Google might be able to help you here, if you have always wondered why have you never simply looked it up before now? I certainly won't be giving a graphic description of my orgasms

I also have both types of orgasm. They both feel quite similar it’s just coming from a different centre. A vaginal orgasm is a lot rarer for me, maybe one in ten times and it just feels like luck, there’s no particular position or anything that does it. I do need a good amount of decent foreplay though to be in with a chance.

@alksiehru @driftcompatible

I assure you that this is NOT an advert. I reported the comment and asked Mumsnet to remove it. I just thought girls in my situation would find it helpful 🤷‍♀️

If I wanted to advertise it, I would be done so in the "sex" section, I assure you.

I do but didn’t realise this was a rarity until joining mumsnet.

Rarely. With a very specific tempo and position. Mostly from oral or masturbation though.

@Shitandhills

I can't orgasm just from penetration but I quite frequently have orgasms in my sleep and wake up midway through. How weird is that?!

No, not at all! I love dream orgasms 🤣🤣

@BunnyBlanket heh, not all that weird then! I do feel lucky though!

@tootaloo, but how strange is it that some women can have an orgasm without any friction whatsoever in her sleep but not be able to do the same with PIV? I just don't understand how that works!! The mind is a powerful thing, clearly.

I’m selfish. I get mine and fuck him. It’s all about me.

[quote Shitandhills]@tootaloo, but how strange is it that some women can have an orgasm without any friction whatsoever in her sleep but not be able to do the same with PIV? I just don't understand how that works!! The mind is a powerful thing, clearly.[/quote]
It really is! Its all psychological, isn't it? Even when we can't during PIV, I reckon it's psychological, I reckon. Dream orgasms do feel artificial though, but I'll take what I can get 🤣

@EmpressCixi

I’m selfish. I get mine and fuck him. It’s all about me.

Tbh my partner is the same about me 🤷‍♀️🤣

Of course not! And every woman I’ve ever spoken about it to in over 40 years is the same. Clitoral stimulation- yes. Thrusting - no. Obviously I faked it with my first few boyfriends but once I realised DH was a keeper I came clean and he now gives me oral sex before we have vaginal sex.

I have but only a handful of times. DH always ensures I orgasm at least once through other means first but very very rarely during penetrative sex.

Yes. I wouldn't bother if I didn't

@Idolovetrees I am exactly the same!

No, never. I get a nice feeling sometimes (not every time) that's it. Can orgasm on my own easily enough but not vaginally.

Only oral

Only in a very specific way. Reverse cowgirl with a vibrator on my clitoris. He can’t move or speak or touch me. Basically I use his penis to get off with the vibrator.

Nope, never. I thought there was a theory that the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris makes a difference, but that sounds like yet more ignoring of the actual size of the whole clitoris.

@Idolovetrees try not to despair. I can now get any partner who will pay attention to make me orgasm with his fingers, after 32 years of an active sex life without a single partner orgasm. Never say never.

And it's not a design flaw to have the clitoris away from the vagina, as I realised after giving birth...

I could 20 years ago with my partner at the time.

I never did before him though and I never have after him either.

No, never. Nothing to do with guys I've slept with or DH, I just can't let myself go. I'm in mid 40s and I'll admit I was in my 30s before I realised the clitoris is were most women get an orgasm from and relatively few through PIV - not that it would have helped me but my God, sex education should let both boys and girls know this is the case FFS! But of course, no one really wants to let girls know they can and should enjoy sex

I've been annoyed by some advice which is like 'Ooh just get this or that vibrator and you'll orgasm in 30 seconds'. Nope.

I've seen therapists but no one's ever really been able to work it out. No sexual trauma, grew up in household with appropriate attitudes to sex, nothing offputting in my education, confident body image. Just doesn't happen - I feel like my brain's not really connected to my groin area.

The voting results are interesting, and perhaps reflect the comments? No from me, I need something else happening for me at the same time, basically additional friction in the right place.

I think we all figure out how it works to cum in our teens alone, then that does easily transfer to being with a male partner.

But overall no complaints from me. I get there :) I read a post a few months ago from someone that never had an orgasm, ever! That was eye opening :(

@Echobelly .. apologies we’ve crossed posted!