3. What type of toy interests you?
Consider whether you want a bullet (mostly for clitoral stimulation), a dildo (used for actual penetration), something that vibrates like a wand or something more inanimate. Then there are jiggle balls that you wear inside, remote control couples toys that can be stopped and started by your partner from another room, smaller toys such as cock rings, bullets and eggs, toys for anal play, various lubes that have different effects and also toys designed for men.
Have a look at various products to see what’s out there and read reviews, which often tell you more about how they can be used, and see what floats your boat.
4. What does it for you?
Do you want something that is just for clitoral stimulation or a toy you put inside you like a dildo? And what are preferences in general during sex? Some toys get you there fast (and hard!) while others are a more slow-and-steady-wins-the-race type of thing.
5. Is volume a factor?
Nothing wrong with saying (or screaming) when you enjoy something, but if you have kids in the house or paper thin walls and less-than-understanding neighbours, it’s worth looking for toys that are advertised as ‘quiet’. Or start saving for a sound-proofed sex dungeon.
6. Does size matter?
Well, it might. Although some women, particularly if new to sex toys, actually prefer something manageable. An eight-inch flashing plastic penis might seem very erotic in the shop, but if you’re using it alone and you find you need two hands on the thing at all times, suddenly the whole event can feel like a chore.
Starting out with a smaller bullet or wand might be an idea. Once you’re feeling more confident, think about what sort of size might suit, or work your way up to the eight-inch flashing plastic penis slowly.
7. What about power and speed?
Try and put all thoughts of DIY tools out of your mind; that’s a totally different kind of speed and power required. Vibrating sex toys can have several speeds, which allows you to experiment with the effect you want and turn it up or down according to how you feel. Some also have different types of vibrate to switch between, such as a pulse and a faster buzz, which you might like, but some women can find distracting.
Think about what sort of effect you might like - some vibrators have a light buzz, while others have more of a 'rumble’ which isn’t necessarily more powerful but somehow has a lower, deeper effect. What you prefer is a matter of personal choice, but there’s something for everyone.
Finally, don’t forget to check the power source for your chosen toy and make sure you have the right batteries in if necessary. Many are also USB rechargeable. There’s nothing quite so irritating your rabbit being let down by the Duracell Bunny.
8. What do you want it to look like?
There are some fairly (how can we put this?) ‘lifelike’ sex toys on the market. Some people love them while others find them a massive turn-off. If you prefer something a little more discreet, there are plenty that could easily be mistaken for a massage tool or a lipstick… or at least don’t just look like a giant, veiny, purple penis. Though if that’s your thing, that’s fine too.
9. What’s your budget?
You don’t want to spend too much if it’s your first sex toy, but you definitely get what you pay for. If you’re happy to spend between £20 and £50, there’s plenty of choice and good products out there to choose from, but you can obviously spend a lot more if you want to.