Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends’ anti-semitism

224 replies

Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 08:53

We have known a couple for 4 years from our NCT group. We have gone to baby groups, soft play, birthdays and bbqs with them. We have never socialised with them without the kids or wider group but thought we knew them quite well. They have always been lovely. One of the couple has a high up position in the Labour Party and while we don’t support Labour this has never been an issue.

This week, while discussing the conflict in Israel/Palestine one of the couple wrote on FB that the Jews were responsible for 9/11. My husband is a non practicing Jew and we have a traditionally Jewish surname. Not that this matters. Their comments are so upsetting, I challenged them on FB asking if they were serious but they did not respond.

Here is the dilemma:
We are due to go to an NCT reunion party in a month and now I don’t want to go. I love our NCT group but I cannot imagine socialising with people who think this way.

YABU: go to the reunion
YANBU: stay away

OP posts:
Tomnooktoldmeto · 21/05/2021 09:01

You really could do with a third option, you are most definitely not being unreasonable but should still go

Attitudes like this need to be challenged rightly as you did but you should stand tall and not hide away or this allows bigotry to flourish

CursedEngagement · 21/05/2021 09:03

I agree with PP. I don't think YABU but you should still go. Segregating yourself from the group is definitely not the best way to deal with unacceptable opinions.

CursedEngagement · 21/05/2021 09:04

Also, report him to the Labour Party. It's completely acceptable.

CursedEngagement · 21/05/2021 09:04

*report them, not him, sorry.

MissyB1 · 21/05/2021 09:06

Because of one person’s opinion you are going to boycott a social event with a whole group of friends? That’s shooting yourself in the foot. Just go and don’t bother talking to them much.
I can still make limited small talk with people who post unpleasant stuff on fb. I wouldn’t go if it was just them attending, but there will presumably be plenty of other people you can hang out with instead?

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 21/05/2021 09:07

I’d report to the Labour Party too. Starmer is taking an all or nothing stance with regards to anti-semitism in part due to the fact his wife is Jewish.

I’d go to the reunion though, you have other friends to catch up with there.

LaBellina · 21/05/2021 09:08

Wow that’s unacceptable.
I can totally see why you wouldn’t want to socialize with anyone with such ideas.

Also it’s very weird that someone apparently so high up in the Labour Party openly vents this idea on Facebook. Surely it would cause a huge scandal if it came out because someone made a screenshot and sent it to a tabloid?

l2b2 · 21/05/2021 09:08

Don't hide away. Report them to the Labour Party and continue to call them out publicly. There is no place for views like that in GB.

l2b2 · 21/05/2021 09:08

Also did you report it to FB?

deardia · 21/05/2021 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

dreamingbohemian · 21/05/2021 09:09

Report him to the party

Who is organising the reunion? I would explain the situation to them and see if they uninvite this couple.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 21/05/2021 09:09

@CursedEngagement

Also, report him to the Labour Party. It's completely acceptable.
Yes you should still go. Report their behaviour with the evidence.
NativityDreaming · 21/05/2021 09:09

I wouldn’t let this. I think you beed to screen capture what was posted and report them to the labour party. That is disgusting.

Cadent · 21/05/2021 09:11

Report them and then delete and block on social media. Go to NCT and blank them.

What does high up mean? Are they a member or Labour MP? Posting that on your Facebook is career suicide for them and rightfully so.

Have you name changed?

Mistlewoeandwhine · 21/05/2021 09:14

Definitely report him to the Labour Party. Go to your event with your head held high. They are scumbags. Hugs to you both xxx

maddening · 21/05/2021 09:16

I don't think that Israel should have been created, it was pushed for by zionists well before WW2, I do think that the creation of Israel has inflamed the middle east situation we have today. But this is only part of it, the whole west/ middle east history is long and distressing. I don't agree with the Israeli occupation and their continued approach to the Palestinians, taking their homes,. I do agree that what we see currently is apartheid and that Israel are committing human rights atrocities.

I don't blame Jews for 9/11. I am not anti semetic, Jews are not Israel. Muslims are not Iran etc we can call out poor behaviour without being against all people in a religion.

Your friends comments are wrong, even if the perpetrators carried out the 9/11 attack as a direct consequence of the Israeli occupation the whole situation is also the fault of the UK, whose government allowed a bill pushed by a handful of zionist MPs to support the creation of Israel in 1914, and also of the USA who have sent 100s of billions of dollars to support Israel. All for their own political game play.

Dingleydel · 21/05/2021 09:17

@Cadent

Report them and then delete and block on social media. Go to NCT and blank them.

What does high up mean? Are they a member or Labour MP? Posting that on your Facebook is career suicide for them and rightfully so.

Have you name changed?

I’d like to know these things too. I’m surprised it’s not been picked up by the press already. If they are really ‘high up’ in the Labour Party they are incredibly, staggeringly stupid. They won’t get away with it.
ThrowawayBerna · 21/05/2021 09:18

Go, but 'grey rock' him/her, in the social circumstances.

You might also complain to Labour - as purging these attitudes was supposedly key to Starmer.

That post is a trifecta of lazy twattishness: anti-Semitic + ahistorical + boilerplate fringe conspiracy. My brothers and mother (all Lefties also) come out with that sh1te all the time. I push back every time.

murbblurb · 21/05/2021 09:19

Report to the Labour party. Screenshot the post and share it round the NCT group. Go to the reunion and tell these filth loudly that they are racists.

Didn't mean it...like fuck. About to report the anti Semitic post on here.

Domino20 · 21/05/2021 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

grantoderek · 21/05/2021 09:25

I can't think of anything worse than an NCT party, great excuse to swerve it Grin

Original poster
Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 09:32

Just to clarify a few things, I have been on MN for many years. I name changed for this as it is so specific and possibly outing.

The man works as a strategist for a very high profile Labour Party member. He is employed by the Labour Party. The woman was the one that posted about 9/11. So although the man employed by Labour didn’t post it, they 100% saw it as the discussion was on his FB page as part of a comment thread started by him. He didn’t challenge his wife or delete her comments.

OP posts:
catspider · 21/05/2021 09:33

Just go and if they try to talk to you just ignore them or say you don't talk to Nazis.

FOJN · 21/05/2021 09:37

Given the intense media scrutiny of anti-semitism in the Labour Party it seems unlikely that a person in a "high up position" in the party would post such an overtly anti-semitic statement on social media.
It's possible absolute stupidity might explain it.

catspider · 21/05/2021 09:39

Given the intense media scrutiny of anti-semitism in the Labour Party it seems unlikely that a person in a "high up position" in the party would post such an overtly anti-semitic statement on social media.

Perhaps in the current climate they feel safe to let the mask slip?