Friends’ anti-semitism

[Charmtaste]

We have known a couple for 4 years from our NCT group. We have gone to baby groups, soft play, birthdays and bbqs with them. We have never socialised with them without the kids or wider group but thought we knew them quite well. They have always been lovely. One of the couple has a high up position in the Labour Party and while we don’t support Labour this has never been an issue.

This week, while discussing the conflict in Israel/Palestine one of the couple wrote on FB that the Jews were responsible for 9/11. My husband is a non practicing Jew and we have a traditionally Jewish surname. Not that this matters. Their comments are so upsetting, I challenged them on FB asking if they were serious but they did not respond.

Here is the dilemma:
We are due to go to an NCT reunion party in a month and now I don’t want to go. I love our NCT group but I cannot imagine socialising with people who think this way.

YABU: go to the reunion
YANBU: stay away

Are you genuinely offended and hurt or are you virue signaling. Best to decide before you try and ruin people's lives over Facebook and the NC bloody T mum group

@grantoderek it is virtue signalling to be upset at grotesque anti-Semitic conspiracy theories?

I wouldn’t go - and I’m not Jewish - it’s so offensive!

I’d also report to the Labour Party as others have said.

Surely it would cause a huge scandal if it came out because someone made a screenshot and sent it to a tabloid?

Post a screenshot on here OP, the tabloids will pick it up in no time. I think there ought to be a huge scandal about this if the guy has close links with someone high up in a political party, anti semitism is never acceptable.

This is awful, a load of people advising the destruction of a person based on one person posting anonymously on a parent forum. It's horrendous how fragile life is. The man didn't post it, he probably doesn't even know its there, you have no idea of his own opinions. This stinks.

Are his initials JC ?

@ grantoderek he 100% knows it is there. It is under a post on his own FB page.

However, I don’t think you can report someone for a comment made by their spouse. The only reason to report would be his lack of reaction to her comments which seems pretty weak. Even though I assume he agrees with her, otherwise he would have challenged or deleted it.

And yes let's see a screen shot.

Screenshot the comment, report it to the Labour Party and send them the screenshot. Go to your reunion: if you see them there, avoid speaking to them. If they approach you, be polite but brief. Why should you miss out because these people are racists?

Do what you like, just check your motives. What a lot of power to have over someone you don't care about.

I would still report it, presumably he wouldn't be disciplined but someone would have a word with him at least. If his wife is so anti-Semitic that she's openly posting this stuff on FB then it probably isn't the first time concerns have been raised.

I voted YANBU because it's fair enough not to go if you don't feel comfortable. However, I don't actually think you should have to miss out because of this woman's bigotry.

I would definitely mention the anti-Semitism to the organiser, in the hope that the other couple might be uninvited. If you do choose not to attend, I would ensure that everyone in the group knows why.

We should not tolerate anti-Semitism.

In a few hours this will be all over tabloids and you will have to go to the NCT party and discuss this thread and gossip about who people think posted it. How embarrassing. I bet you wish you hadn't posted on an open forum with such specific details now.

@dreamingbohemian I am FB friends with both of them and have never seen any comments like this before. I think an earlier poster was right and people suddenly feel emboldened to express their anti-semitism. It is so upsetting, we thought they were our friends.

How disgusting. I'd contact the organiser and say you don't feel you can go and see what happens.

@grantoderek you seem very keen on protecting anti-semites Why is that?

And yet you're still FB friends with them?! Block and delete for goodness sake.

@Charmtaste I think you're right, I've certainly seen a lot more unacceptable comments these days

I really feel for you, of course it's upsetting. I've had something like this happen a few times in the past and it's horrible to think they've been like this the whole time and you never knew.

@paralysedbyinertia there is no organiser really. We have all decided on it together in our Whattsapp group. I will 100% let people know why I am not attending. It is just all very upsetting.

Normal person sees something offensive on Facebook. Confronts the poster and expresses their offense then blocks the person.
Mumsnet, see a post you find offensive, post online just to make sure ot is offensive (really just looking for back pats) and then launch a collective campaign to destroy the life of a man who didn't even post it. I despair.

It's absolutely despicable what your so called friends did. I am not Jewish and I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't change my life for such horrible people and so would still go to the classes. If they come to talk to me, I would simply say sorry I don't engage with anti-semitics and with people fuelling hate.
Also please report to the Labour party with a screenshot. The fact that a high-up party official doesn't object to public displays of anti-semitism by his wife is very worrying and symptomatic of the party being anti-semitic to the core.

[quote Charmtaste]@paralysedbyinertia there is no organiser really. We have all decided on it together in our Whattsapp group. I will 100% let people know why I am not attending. It is just all very upsetting.[/quote]
Yes, of course it will be upsetting. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. It's horrible to encounter prejudice in anyone, but even more distressing when it's in people who you regarded as friends.

Could you put something on the whatsapp group before the meet-up, along the lines of wanting to attend but not feeling comfortable in light of the anti-Semitic comments from the other couple? It's possible that the response from the rest of the group might be really supportive, and the anti-Semitic couple may get the message that they are no longer welcome?

@grantoderek

Normal person sees something offensive on Facebook. Confronts the poster and expresses their offense then blocks the person. Mumsnet, see a post you find offensive, post online just to make sure ot is offensive (really just looking for back pats) and then launch a collective campaign to destroy the life of a man who didn't even post it. I despair.

What is your problem?

How do you know his/her facebook account hasn't been hacked to embarrass the labour party if said person is so high up ? It does happen.