Friends’ anti-semitism

[Charmtaste]

We have known a couple for 4 years from our NCT group. We have gone to baby groups, soft play, birthdays and bbqs with them. We have never socialised with them without the kids or wider group but thought we knew them quite well. They have always been lovely. One of the couple has a high up position in the Labour Party and while we don’t support Labour this has never been an issue.

This week, while discussing the conflict in Israel/Palestine one of the couple wrote on FB that the Jews were responsible for 9/11. My husband is a non practicing Jew and we have a traditionally Jewish surname. Not that this matters. Their comments are so upsetting, I challenged them on FB asking if they were serious but they did not respond.

Here is the dilemma:
We are due to go to an NCT reunion party in a month and now I don’t want to go. I love our NCT group but I cannot imagine socialising with people who think this way.

YABU: go to the reunion
YANBU: stay away

I think bleating on a forum about something which is obviously simple is bizarre and attention seeking. It's Facebook. You know what to do, report and block and contact the police. It's not as if you need advice as to whether to stay friends with them or not.

@grantoderek good for you. I think we all fully understand your position now. I don’t think you need to keep contributing your bile.

I would still attend the reunion - don't let this woman drive you away.

Hopefully the Labour party will be able to investigate this based on this post and the OP will either be able to help them punish him, or the post is made up and the Labour party can not have their reputation damaged by lies. It's a win win situation. I imagine their legal department are already looking into it. They mist have received several hundred reports by us by now with screens shots.

[quote Charmtaste]@grantoderek good for you. I think we all fully understand your position now. I don’t think you need to keep contributing your bile.[/quote]
It's a free country. You can't shit people down because you don't like them not simpering at your feet. Grow up.

@maddening I’m afraid you are anti Semitic.

It's an appalling piece of anti-semitism and I'd be agonising over what to do in just the same way you are OP. Anyone who thinks the responses to this are simple has no imagination.
But I think I would seriously consider reporting it to the Labour Party. What I'd do about the event I don't know. When you find out someone you've known and liked and is part of a social/friendship group has such abhorrent views it's not as simple as either avoiding them or outing them, but it's equally impossible to pretend it doesn't matter. Take your time. Do you have a close friend in the group you could talk to about this?
I'm not Jewish by the way but it seems obvious to me that this is really difficult and upsetting.

Charmtaste

I did and I'm perplexed about why being in the same room as them is such a big deal for you you. You will regularly encounter people in social situations whose views and values will not aligned with your own, you just don't know it. I've no doubt I've had perfectly civilised conversations with people whose views I would find abhorrent, it's life.
Report them, tell them why, leave them to feel awkward and attend the gathering with your head held high knowing you actually did something to tackle anti-semitism.

@giletrouge that is a good idea. I think I will talk to a lady from the group who has moved far away. She has no skin in the game so to speak but knows everyone involved.

I did and I'm perplexed about why being in the same room as them is such a big deal for you you.

Would you say that to someone black who was debating going to an event someone racist was also going to attend? That you would be perplexed about why it was such a big deal for them?

OP are they the only reason you are going?

I would break it off and tell them why, but if you have other friends in the group then you can still go, surely.

@Ostara212 I have many other friends in the group that I would love to see but the thought of socialising in a group with people who think like that is unpleasant.

[quote Charmtaste]@Ostara212 I have many other friends in the group that I would love to see but the thought of socialising in a group with people who think like that is unpleasant.[/quote]
But they are the only ones who think that, probably?

If you make your feelings clear to them, you could still have a nice time with the others?

There's a lot of minimising on this thread.

If I was one of your friends in the group I would want to know what had happened in advance. Given the choice between seeing you or hanging out with a racist I would rather see you that day instead.

I feel absolutely sick for you. I am so sorry. Lots of anti Semitism on this thread which honestly I would absolutely ignore. It’s everywhere and if you think about it too much you will go mad.

But in this case I would absolutely report to the Labour Party, and I would tell the WhatsApp group what had happened and honestly unless the other couple agreed not to come I wouldn’t attend and I would leave the group and probably never see any of them again. I just wouldn’t feel happy or comfortable and I would withdraw. I have no interest in educating people or being with be people who are equivocal about anti Semitism, I’d rather just move on. Hope you get the support from the group you need so you feel able to stay. X

@Ostara212 I could but I would probably make it uncomfortable for everyone else by ignoring the couple. There would not be enough of us to hide me blanking them iyswim.

@Kentuki thanks for your post. The utter venom towards me on this thread has been unnerving.

@SatyajitRayFan

It's absolutely despicable what your so called friends did. I am not Jewish and I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't change my life for such horrible people and so would still go to the classes. If they come to talk to me, I would simply say sorry I don't engage with anti-semitics and with people fuelling hate. Also please report to the Labour party with a screenshot. The fact that a high-up party official doesn't object to public displays of anti-semitism by his wife is very worrying and symptomatic of the party being anti-semitic to the core.

This re reporting to the Labour Party. Why on earth wouldn’t you. I’d also still attend your NCT reunion, as I assume there will be lots of other people there. But just avoid that couple at that event and in the future, and if they ask why, don’t pull any punches. If she’s prepared to be to blatant about her anti-semitism in public (albeit on FB) then you do the same.

[quote Charmtaste]@Ostara212 I could but I would probably make it uncomfortable for everyone else by ignoring the couple. There would not be enough of us to hide me blanking them iyswim.[/quote]
Right.. my thinking was if you told them, and everyone, the friendship was over, then a group of say, 20, should be enough.

I'd also report to the party btw - though I wonder if they already know.

[quote Charmtaste]@Ostara212 I could but I would probably make it uncomfortable for everyone else by ignoring the couple. There would not be enough of us to hide me blanking them iyswim.[/quote]
I would want them to feel uncomfortable tbh (for their abhorrent views). But maybe that’s just me!

Out of interest did the post say "it's the Jews what dun it" or did it say "it's the Rothschild's what dun it"

I only ask cos people that believe in conspiracy theories are generally not the best at critical thinking and will often repeat antisemitic tropes without realising this is what they're doing.

@maddening

I don't think that Israel should have been created, it was pushed for by zionists well before WW2, I do think that the creation of Israel has inflamed the middle east situation we have today. But this is only part of it, the whole west/ middle east history is long and distressing. I don't agree with the Israeli occupation and their continued approach to the Palestinians, taking their homes,. I do agree that what we see currently is apartheid and that Israel are committing human rights atrocities.

I don't blame Jews for 9/11. I am not anti semetic, Jews are not Israel. Muslims are not Iran etc we can call out poor behaviour without being against all people in a religion.

Your friends comments are wrong, even if the perpetrators carried out the 9/11 attack as a direct consequence of the Israeli occupation the whole situation is also the fault of the UK, whose government allowed a bill pushed by a handful of zionist MPs to support the creation of Israel in 1914, and also of the USA who have sent 100s of billions of dollars to support Israel. All for their own political game play.

Cool now do Pakistan and America.

Pakistan was created in 1947 which led to lots of political instability and violence.

And America literally stole the land from Native Americans.

What are your thoughts on those countries?

You are an antisemite btw. HTH.

@chanjer the original post was about Israel downing the Al Jazeera building. Someone commented that it reminded them of 9/11 and the wife responded that the Jews did that too.

Would you say that to someone black who was debating going to an event someone racist was also going to attend? That you would be perplexed about why it was such a big deal for them?

No I wouldn't but I would definitely have challenged the racist.