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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends’ anti-semitism

224 replies

Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 08:53

We have known a couple for 4 years from our NCT group. We have gone to baby groups, soft play, birthdays and bbqs with them. We have never socialised with them without the kids or wider group but thought we knew them quite well. They have always been lovely. One of the couple has a high up position in the Labour Party and while we don’t support Labour this has never been an issue.

This week, while discussing the conflict in Israel/Palestine one of the couple wrote on FB that the Jews were responsible for 9/11. My husband is a non practicing Jew and we have a traditionally Jewish surname. Not that this matters. Their comments are so upsetting, I challenged them on FB asking if they were serious but they did not respond.

Here is the dilemma:
We are due to go to an NCT reunion party in a month and now I don’t want to go. I love our NCT group but I cannot imagine socialising with people who think this way.

YABU: go to the reunion
YANBU: stay away

OP posts:
Nataliafalka · 21/05/2021 14:16

@C130 it’s not even slightly offensive, it’s factual and honest and people don’t want to hear ir

MyOctopusFeature · 21/05/2021 14:22

@SatyajitRayFan

It's absolutely despicable what your so called friends did. I am not Jewish and I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't change my life for such horrible people and so would still go to the classes. If they come to talk to me, I would simply say sorry I don't engage with anti-semitics and with people fuelling hate. Also please report to the Labour party with a screenshot. The fact that a high-up party official doesn't object to public displays of anti-semitism by his wife is very worrying and symptomatic of the party being anti-semitic to the core.
Good post.
Cadent · 21/05/2021 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

C130 · 21/05/2021 14:29

The example used, was on reading offensive to me. I know this has been said, and people do think that, so that is why I say that. I did not mean that I found the anti-semitism offensive. I wish that and all racism was not something people had to go through. I should have made my post clearer.

Musication · 21/05/2021 14:38

Weird response. That poster is illustrating that people are rightly disgusted and shocked by such comments. But they're rarely disgusted about anti-semitism whether its thinly veiled or outright. For example this thread. Anti-semitism is an accepted form of racism, one that people are often prepared to overlook.

C130 · 21/05/2021 14:39

[quote Nataliafalka]@C130 it’s not even slightly offensive, it’s factual and honest and people don’t want to hear ir[/quote]
What the poster decided to use as an example is offensive.

Original poster
Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 14:52

This thread has really been an eye opener. Not in a good way. I am so sad that anti-semitism is flourishing in the U.K.

@grantoderek I am not buying your outraged pantomime. You are an unpleasant bully who is trying to DARVO because you have been called out.

OP posts:
Musication · 21/05/2021 14:54

@Charmtaste

This thread has really been an eye opener. Not in a good way. I am so sad that anti-semitism is flourishing in the U.K.

@grantoderek I am not buying your outraged pantomime. You are an unpleasant bully who is trying to DARVO because you have been called out.

Isnt it Charmtaste anti-semitism is alive and well.
C130 · 21/05/2021 15:10

@C130

The example used, was on reading offensive to me. I know this has been said, and people do think that, so that is why I say that. I did not mean that I found the anti-semitism offensive. I wish that and all racism was not something people had to go through. I should have made my post clearer.
Please can we have an edit button MNHQ. I meant that I find anti-semitism/ racism offensive.
Susannahmoody · 21/05/2021 15:13

'high up in the labour party'

Gvie me strength

MissyB1 · 21/05/2021 15:25

@Susannahmoody

'high up in the labour party'

Gvie me strength

Exactly what I thought!
ConcreteUnderpants · 21/05/2021 15:25

@C130 That was the idea!
Yes it was an obscene and racist comment that you should rightly be disgusted with. Yet somehow when the awful racist comments are about Jews, people seem to question why it is a big deal!!
Why aren’t you disgusted and outraged by about all the other racist and anti-semitic comments in this thread? You have proved my point exactly.
Anti-semitism is accepted by so many. Perhaps you should RTFT.

Undeuxdrei · 21/05/2021 15:33

@MissyB1 Agree. Shoehorning the LP into it when actually it just concerns a nasty piece of work who may or may not be affiliated with them.

C130 · 21/05/2021 15:33

Concrete, read my comment above. I do not see why you would think it ok to try and highlight anti-semitism with racism though. There is no need. It helps nothing.

ConcreteUnderpants · 21/05/2021 15:45

@Cadent and @C130

Your comments are precisely why.

This thread just gets more depressing.

Original poster
Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 15:51

@Susannahmoody
@MissyB1

Yes this person is a paid strategist for a high profile member of the Labour Party which makes it worse. If you think I am lying report me but your troll hunting adds nothing to the thread.

OP posts:
catspider · 21/05/2021 16:11

I can just imagine what Nazi-era shit they are teaching their kids.

LondonMummer · 21/05/2021 16:18

Utterly horrified reading this thread. I'm Jewish and went to the bakery this morning where we had high visibility community security personnel posted outside. At a bakery. Whilst it's amazing our community do this it's fucking awful that we have to.

And yes, intended anti semitism, casual anti semitism, and ignorant anti semitism all of which I've read on this thread are part of the same problem. I'm 50 and have never seen the mask slip as clearly in the UK as right now.

Thank you to the non Jewish posters who even care about this. That's how low the bar is set in the UK. I feel grateful these days that any non Jews care. Think about that.

Cadent · 21/05/2021 16:18

[quote ConcreteUnderpants]@C130 That was the idea!
Yes it was an obscene and racist comment that you should rightly be disgusted with. Yet somehow when the awful racist comments are about Jews, people seem to question why it is a big deal!!
Why aren’t you disgusted and outraged by about all the other racist and anti-semitic comments in this thread? You have proved my point exactly.
Anti-semitism is accepted by so many. Perhaps you should RTFT.[/quote]
Except we have been disgusted. I was one of the first to post and suggest OP block, delete and blank them.

JassyRadlett · 21/05/2021 16:22

Christ @LondonMummer that's awful. Literally needing security to buy bread. I'm so incredibly sorry and can't do anything but try to stand beside you against this despicable activity.

Original poster
Charmtaste · 21/05/2021 16:40

@LondonMummer I am so sorry that things are getting so frightening in the U.K. it is terrifying how quickly anti-semitism becomes so open. It shows how it never goes away and is always close to returning.

OP posts:
newnortherner111 · 21/05/2021 16:44

If you choose not to go, please tell the others why you have made the choice. Then they have the option to not go if they wish.

Gottagetoutofthisplace · 21/05/2021 16:45

That is beyond awful @LondonMummer what is wrong with people?? I’m not Jewish (have lovely Jewish relatives though) but anti-semitism is my bug-bear. It’s like it’s not even a thing. I read an article by David baddiel in one of the Sunday papers which confirmed to me that I’m not imagining it. It is like acceptable racism.
I know plenty of other non Jews who also feel like me, if that’s of any comfort to you.

WisconsinRaw · 21/05/2021 17:23

There is sparring and then there is laughing at people's dead Jewish fathers. I am so disgusted I feel sick.

The dead Jewish father - who's also somehow a Christian - who you didn't bother to mention until after people started calling you on your racism.

redpeppersoup · 21/05/2021 17:45

No advice sorry OP, but I’ve enjoyed seeing @grantoderek get a taste of her own medicine after her behaviour towards you, ‘outraged pantomime’ is spot on! No way would someone of Jewish descent be as offensive and anti-Semitic as she has been on this thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread