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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Partner never takes his keys

215 replies

jumper1234 · 02/12/2019 20:34

He will thing me to come home as he's forgotten them again or he'll knock on the door so I have to stop what I'm doing to go and let him in. Tonight he walked the dog and I was hanging curtains and heard him get back so I opened the window and said you'll have to wait if you've forgot your keys as I'm busy. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but this has been going on for over 5 years and even when I don't rush back right away he says I'm unreasonable to get so angry about it and why can't I just help him and not complain. I don't even know if that makes sense but honestly it drives me mad I have to stop cooking tea etc to go and let him in. So aibu to not want this to continue or should I chill out about it like he says ?

OP posts:

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:38

You're a bloody saint to put up with that shit for 5+ years!!

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2019 20:38

Completely disengage. If he's not got his keys, you're not letting him in. And I sure as hell wouldn't come home if he was locked out. 5 years? You are either a saint or an idiot.

wowfudge · 02/12/2019 20:39

Buy him a key safe for Christmas.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:39

What would he do if you went out and he couldn't get in? He needs to take some responsibility for himself.

Jollitwiglet · 02/12/2019 20:39

He won't bother trying to remember them all the time you keep dropping what you're doing to let him back in

OhioOhioOhio · 02/12/2019 20:40

I'd get rid of him. Lazy, entitled pig.

Expressedways · 02/12/2019 20:42

Get him a Nest lock for Christmas.

Paddington68 · 02/12/2019 20:42

Get a bit of string. Hang them round his neck. Length of string up to you.

Beamur · 02/12/2019 20:43

Key safe.
I got one when my Mum was living with me (for carers) but it's brilliant for my key forgetting DH. He has the number stored in his phone so no excuses for disturbing me or waking me up.

OrangeHue · 02/12/2019 20:43

I’d wait for him to walk the dog then jump
In the bath. He can wait in the cold, that should teach him

Sexnotgender · 02/12/2019 20:43

What a knob.

Stop letting him in and certainly fuck coming home to let him in.

The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If you keep letting him in, he’ll keep ‘forgetting’ his keys.

mineofuselessinformation · 02/12/2019 20:46

Start to 'forget' your keys when you know he's in (take a set really).
He might not like a taste of his own medicine, especially if you do it several times.

Original poster

jumper1234 · 02/12/2019 20:46

He's convinced that I'm unreasonable and I just don't want to help him out. But it feels a bit more like being his butler than just helping him out with the frequency it happens.

OP posts:

Nojustyou · 02/12/2019 20:47

5 years and you still haven't suddenly remember to pop to the shops, just after he left of course, meet a friend you haven't seen for ages and spend a couple of hours having a good natter in front of a coffee - and came back home a good 3 hours later?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 02/12/2019 20:47

Just get a key safe.

Jeezoh · 02/12/2019 20:47

I bet he can remember to take stuff he needs to work or his wallet when he wants to buy something. I’d make him wait every single time - a minute for every year of his life

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/12/2019 20:48

Hang on....if you are out, he calls you to come back and let him in?

Fuck that.

Jeezoh · 02/12/2019 20:48

Or just don’t reply to his calls when he phones you, or hear the doorbell when he rings it

Original poster

jumper1234 · 02/12/2019 20:48

Thing is I have left him for over an hour before and he turns it into an argument of how I can't ever help him when he needs.

OP posts:

Wonderland18 · 02/12/2019 20:49

I lose my keys on my person a few days a week and my partner has to let me in.. 3 year later not a single complaint about it. If he knows your going to be in it’s not at the forefront of his mind

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/12/2019 20:50

How do you retain any respect for him? I mean keys are a daily fact of life, you learn that really early

Dragging you home to let him in, disturbing you rather than just picking up his keys sounds as though he actually enjoys putting you out! I couldn't look at him and see an adult, it's really unattractive.

FrowningFlamingo · 02/12/2019 20:50

My FIL does this. It’s a power play. He likes my MIL to know he’s more important than her so she has to stop what she’s doing to let him in.
I frequently remind him that only cats ask to be let into their own homes.

Undies1990 · 02/12/2019 20:51

Yes to a key safe. Ours has been brilliant as our teenagers forget their keys frequently. Your partner sounds like a real pain - 5 years is a long time to keep forgetting the same thing over and over again.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:51

Get a retractable key chain for Christmas and attach it to his coat so he can't ever leave them behind again!

ffswhatnext · 02/12/2019 20:55

Your good to have lasted this long.
What else does he forget to do? Or isn’t his problem? Or he hasn’t got time for?

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