Partner never takes his keys

[jumper1234]

He will thing me to come home as he's forgotten them again or he'll knock on the door so I have to stop what I'm doing to go and let him in. Tonight he walked the dog and I was hanging curtains and heard him get back so I opened the window and said you'll have to wait if you've forgot your keys as I'm busy. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but this has been going on for over 5 years and even when I don't rush back right away he says I'm unreasonable to get so angry about it and why can't I just help him and not complain. I don't even know if that makes sense but honestly it drives me mad I have to stop cooking tea etc to go and let him in. So aibu to not want this to continue or should I chill out about it like he says ?

My DH started “forgetting” his keys when I started working from home (funnily enough always managed when it’s was 50/50
As to who would get home first).

No real advice as basically I complained and he started remembering his keys again. I couldn’t ignore as the dog would start barking when he knocked.

Maybe try going out at the time he’s due home and leave him on the doorstep.

It's a power play. I assure you it is regardless of how he behaves the rest of the time. In fact controlling people and abusers often manage to do these things to people without them even realising.

OP, I totally agree with this. Abusers are rarely 100% abusive until you're completely cowed. If they were, people wouldn't date them in the first place.

This key business is a power play, I've seen this before. Take a look through the relationship board, there's plenty of advice on warning signs, etc, especially in the thread stuck at the top.

I personally find this behaviour so enraging, I honestly think that I would leave someone over this!

God god! Sounds like my teen, they soon started to remember when they had to wait 1.5 hours in the front step as I was miles away. Get a grip woman.

Honestly can't imagine how you have put up with this.

The idea that he would call for you to come home, when he doesn't bother bringing keys, is just so bizarre.

Selfish twat.

I would definitely be out or busy every time he goes out.
I have the opposite problem - my dh takes his keys everywhere. We’ve been on holiday on a different continent and he has his house keys in his pocket

5yrs?? 5??? C'mon OP this is beyond reasonable behaviour. Most people have the keys, phone, purse/wallet checklist before leaving. He knows it's not on, but carrys on doing it...he knows it causes rows and tension, but he continues to do it. He then punishes you by not talking to you, punishes you for his mistakes and wrongdoing.
He's not a child, but he's behaving like one.
His behaviour keeps you at his beck and call. You need to stop enabling him.

I'm getting a key safe.

This is almost entirely me. We moved eight years ago to our current house with a yale lock and I'm constantly locking myself out, simply from being very absent-minded. A key safe would definitely be preferable to my ringing the doorbell, digging up the spare buried in the flower bed, or the second spare under the shed for when I've forgotten to replace the first, or traveling to my husband's work in the next town - but I would rather do all of this than call him home.

Reading the thread properly and seeing others mention it, DS had ADHD and I strongly suspect it comes from my side of the family (inc my DB and DM). I've always forgotten my keys, for as long as I can remember.

My other half did this semi regularly. The worst time was when he'd been on a work trip and got home at 5pm, and I was hoasting at a work event and not able to get back till past 11.30pm. It was raining. He spent several hours in a pub but they kicked him out around 10 and he had to wait for an hour and a half on the bus stop opposite out house until I got home. He still forgot his keys until he started commenting by car and he put his house key with the car key.

This would do my head in. DSS never takes his key anywhere and it annoys me enough with him! I WFH and my office is upstairs, so if he needs letting in after college I have to come down, and sometimes he'll come back after leaving in the morning as well because he's forgotten something (as well as his key I mean!) It's bad enough a teenager doing it, but I couldn't be arsed with a grown man acting like that.

I wouldn't get into an argument over it.
He goes out, you get in the bath, roadie on, phone on silent in the bedroom etc.
He moans, you say oh no, did you forget your key..

He can be quite forgetful in general to be fair but mainly about things that he doesn't view as important.
Like your time, your activities, you? That says a lot op. I expect my husband to treat me with respect.

Is he forgetful in general? Long shot here, but my DP has ADHD and this is exactly the sort of scenario we've been having for years. I realise I might be right off the mark, but we end up arguing about stuff like this, because he's embarrassed by the fact he can't help it and, with the best will in the world, I can't always manage to be understanding when it's day in, day out.

@jumper1234 Is he being OK with you now? Did he take his keys today?