Cruel Mum!!

[arlene123]

AIBU keeping my 10 year old dd’s bedtime @ 8pm on a school night, even though it’s nice outside? She’s up later on holidays and weekends but I do like her to at least be in bed, with her book if she wants, off of screens of any kind by 8pm but I was told today that this is cruel (to be fair it was my dd who said this). Thoughts anyone?

from her point of view, it is cruel

From yours, it depends on the time she needs to get up in the morning, how tired she is, how much sleep she needs. You know your own child and your lifestyle!

I would say 8 is a bit early but at that age I was at guides/swimming club/dancing lessons so my bedtime was 9.30

One of my pet hates as a teacher as a teacher is tired kids.

Not cruel. If she don't like it tough.

*As a teacher is tired kids.

I think it's a touch early- my 9year old has had a half 8 bedtime since she was 8. And will probably go to 9pm after the summer

I'd say 8.30 school night and 9.30 weekend would be a decent balance.

If you're cruel so am I. DC bedtime is based on when they have to get up...thats 6am weekdays so 8pm is lights out and head down.

Terribly cruelty we're inflicting in our children. The possibility if a decent night sleep!

My DD (who is also 10) goes up to bed at 8:45, can have half hour reading then lights out at 9:15. She just isn’t tired at 8pm so sending her to bed then would be hard work on both of us xx

Forgot to say eldest DC is 10 almost 11

We I mean you could let her be sleep deprived (and the drops in academic performance, weight gain, social problems etc. that comes with it) but surely that would be more cruel?

I send my 10 year to bed at 8:30 then he has 15 mins reading time - this might soothe the blow. Having said that, when I lived in England there were six year old galloping up and down the street at 10:30 on a school night.

I’ve seen this recently. It’s base on sleep studies of how much time kids need.

Coincidentally my DD age 11 has 8:30 school night bedtime so pretty spot on.

Kids need sleep so I’ll be cruel if I must but dealing with a crabby tired DD is cruel to me so no thanks

Totally depends on the child, what time they get up, how tired they are, etc.

But my 6yo goes to sleep at around 8pm and she wakes up at 7.15. A good solid 11 hours is more than enough sleep for her and has been for a while now.

Not cruel and 8 isn't early especially if she's allowed to read. Mine used to be in bed by 7.45 at that age but reading for half an hour, so usually asleep by 8.30. Weekends and holidays could be s but more flexible.

My 9 yr old has lights out at 7.30. he can either stay up until 7.30 or go to bed earlier to read until 7.30.
Any later and he is tired in the mornings, dragging his feet and taking forever to get anything done.

He doesn't have a set bedtime at weekends or during holidays.

Sorry forgot to add that 8:30 school night bedtime then gives until 9pm for reading. But rule is that if you choose not to read bedtime is still 8:30.

That would make me positively evil - my 11 yo DD goes up at 8ish.

Why do parents do this, wonder whether they were fair and cruel? Your the boss your rules.

Far too early in my opinion. 11 year olds don't need 11 hours of sleep.

DD 10 doesn't get up until 7, so she goes to bed at 9.20. Does your DD have to get up very early?

Reading broadens the mind, make sure she has a dictionary with her. It's amazing the number of children who read and do not understand certain words, skip over them and that it.
Any word she does not understand, she can make a note of them with a marker in the book, look them up later and make two sentences out of the word.
I would stick with the bedtime, she can either read, do a puzzle, or even start a journal, where she writes about her day to day activities.
Or if she chooses not to light out and I would not budge.

My 14 year old goes up at 9.30, she went at 8pm too age 10. She's never really been allowed up late unless a special occasion.

As a sidenote, I do find this culture of arbitrary(usually ridiculously early) bedtimes in this country which must be stuck to come hell or high water really quite bizarre. None of my DC have ever needed 12 hours sleep, so it's completely pointless to force children to go to bed when they're not tired IMO. Other European countries don't have this culture, and the DC there don't fall apart as some parents here seem to believe will happen.

That seems very early for me as well. My 9yo DTDs have lights out at 9:10 on a school night. No arguments tolerated, no negotiation. It is set in stone (unless they have a school/cubs outing or something).

During holidays they can stay up later, but not on school nights.

Personally I think its a bit early, my DS didnt get back from his matial arts club until gone 9 pm at that age.
But bedtime when it's still light has been a discussion between children and parents for decades, centuries even

Bed in Summer
BY ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer, quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see
The birds still hopping on the tree,
Or hear the grown-up people's feet
Still going past me in the street.

And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?