DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

Did DD want to join Rainbows etc or did you want her too? I think that makes a huge difference.

If she doesn't want to do it anymore then don't make her. What's the point if she doesn't enjoy it?

When my children have wanted to give up a hobby I've always encouraged them to give it another few months ( or until they've finished the term I've paid for. ) My son gave up swimming after this time but my daughter now loves dancing after I persuaded her to continue. Is she keen on any of the Guides? Would she like to invite one home? Are there any Guides events coming up that you could get her enthusiastic about?

She was 5 when the subject first came up. She wanted to do it then as all her wee friends were doing it. I also wanted her to do it.

DR is 12 now.

Is there something else she wants to do instead?

I am mean and made my son stay in scouting as he didn't do anything else and wouldn't ever have left the house otherwise. I guess if he really hated it he could have just refused to go, but he stuck it out till he was 18.

Why does she think it's boring? Is it something you could chat to the other leaders about to? At scouts they have a meeting with the kids to ask what sort of thing they like to do at the beginning of term, do guides do the same?

I was your dd.

I did rainbows, then brownies and managed one term of guides, but hated it. So I left, but 2 years later cambs back as a young leader helping the rainbows and then the guides. That looked good on my uni records and I enjoyed it! It was so much better, our guides was rubbish!

Talk to her and see why she doesn’t like it, maybe she would prefer scouts? Or would she rather help out as a young leader?

Well, if you only did it for your own kid’s benefit then it won’t matter to you if you leave, will it?

Oh and I would be very surprised if being a Guide would help you get a job. And it certainly won’t make any difference to her griping I to university.

Jeez, let her quit. she's been doing it for 7 years (so she's what, about twelve or something?) and her interests have changed. If you aren't going to let her stop doing it now, how long does she have to stay in? Until she leaves home?

I expect it is pretty boring - is there some other activity that she would like to do more? And on the plus side, you can stop martyring yourself with all that volunteering

And I'm sorry but I'm not sure that it will look all that good on future job/uni applications - unless she rises to become Head Scout or runs her own pack or something.

Maybe give it half a term or a term more then ask her again.
She’ll need to step up extra curricular activities at school if she gives it up. Otherwise she’ll have nothing.

Her uni won't be arsed if she's gone to guides or not. I can promise you that.

Discuss why she's bored, and if she 100% is then perhaps give her a week or two off. See if she actually wants to go back after.

What do you hope to gain by forcing her to stay?

Try and get her to do Duke of Edinburgh once she’s old enough.

I think it will look good on any type of application compared to someone who does bugger all.

You could either say "Go every week until (say) Easter and if you still feel the same you can give it up" or "I want you to do some organised activity that isn't school, so find something you want to do and will stick with, and then you can give up".

It would be great for Guiding if you could keep volunteering, but whether you quit is a separate decision.

Is she about 12 or so? I'm afraid it's the pre teen indolence - they lose interest in just about anything other than mooching about and staying in bed for as long as possible. My two elder DDs (now 18 and 17) were the same. Goodbye, dance class, goodbye Girl's Brigade, goodbye, judo. DD3 is 8 and currently does karate, singing and dancing class and Girl's Brigade, but it probably won't last much into her teens, if at all, either. It's frustrating but I think that's adolescence for you. You don't need to quit yourself, surely, though.

I don't see he problem. So what of you have been involved for 7 years. She has also had 7 years out of it. That's why you got involved. So what you did worked, but if she doesn't want to keep it up o think that's totally fine.

Could she try a different unit? I'm a Brownie leader and we've had girls move units before - usually to do with a clash with another class/club but sometimes other reasons. Each unit is different (as I'm sure you know) and she might enjoy another one more.

Or let her leave - and think of the opportunities you've given girls by being a leader yourself. That's something to be proud of!

think it will look good on any type of application compared to someone who does bugger all.

Guides no, it really won't.

Does she even want to go to uni in the future? I reckon plenty of uni candidates didn't attend guides or similar anyway. Have you discussed with her the reasons why you would like her to carry on and (more importantly) listened to why she wants to give it up?

I really don't think forcing her to stay will benefit her if she doesn't want to do it. Maybe there's another hobby she would like to do.

Ask her why she is bored. Is it the program, too much of the same, the group dynamic? I would make her finish the year and let her know about senior section. The opportunities that open up then are pretty awesome! Travel, training, adventurous activities. Has she ever been on a jamboree?

Look for different guiding groups.
I went to 3 at one point, hated one of them, didn't care for the other one and loved the 3rd!

The only way she could surely use it on an application is if she took it all the way to the stage of being a young Guide leader herself (are they called rangers? Not too sure). Actually being a girl guide itself has no place on an application!? If she isn't enjoying it, let her quit.

plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

It won't.

I did guides until adult-hood. I had periods where it was boring / cringey and wanted to quit. Mum always encouraged me to stick it out a bit longer and when camp season came round I'd love it. She also let me have the odd week where I didn't go so it wasn't always dragging myself somewhere I didn't want to be. If she wants a bit more action perhaps Scouts is for her?

My DD is now a Beaver. I am a Beaver leader - I joined as they were short of leaders. I am aware that one day she may want to leave and I will be stuck leadering!!

I think it might be a few years to early to worry about uni application and jobs. As she progresses through secondary school she may find other interests she would like to pursue. She has done 7 years, if she has really thought about it I would let her stop and consider if there is anything else she would like to try.