DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

It sounds like the ones who got a benefit from Guides were the ones who stuck through the boring years of Guides and then went on to be leaders and/or do DofE.

If people are saying things like DofE don't make a difference as that would be discriminatory e.g. if a young person has carer obligations, come from a deprived area, surely the same would apply to doing something extraordinary, like that chap was talking about in the video

No it's not because it's discriminatory, it's because it's so unremarkable (and uncheckable). So many MC youth do DoE, instrumental lessons to grade level, low level sport etc. You might as well put driving lessons or orthodontics on there. It doesn't say all that much about the applicant as an individual.

Your choice to be leader. Let her leave, it is boring.

If people are saying things like DofE don't make a difference as that would be discriminatory e.g. if a young person has carer obligations, come from a deprived area, surely the same would apply to doing something extraordinary, like that chap was talking about in the video

I thought that too - i imagine it's also easier to do something 'extraordinary' if you (or your parents) have loads of cash!

Plus 12 is a normal age to leave guides, any older and you’re a teenager playing with 10 year olds ..

I thought that too - i imagine it's also easier to do something 'extraordinary' if you (or your parents) have loads of cash!

It could be or it could be something you do on the computer.

I think essentially, people have got "blending in" confused with "standing out".

All it really is, is admissions tutors trying to find a spark of personality in a very beige process.

If grades are stellar it won't matter anyway.

Try her with a mixed-sex activity. That might spark her interest. Our local pack is scouts but is mixed girls and boys. Keeps them interested past adolescence. I agree with pp above that suggested hanging on for DoE award. That really builds character, develops skills and makes memories.

My Grandmother ran guides/scots right up until her mid 80's a span of 50+ years, she had awards etc from the Queen.
I hated it went once, my cousins didn't even bother, we all have good jobs, went to uni etc.
OP it does sound like this is all about you and not her, put yourself in her shoes and ask would you happily do something that you don't enjoy when it isn't even important?

She doesnt have to "hang on for DofE award. "She can leave guides just now and come back to the organisation to do the service part of her DofE.
We have one girl with us just now who did that .. rainbows brownies guides.. left guides at 12.Came back to brownies for 12 weeks for her DofE aged 14. Now at 16 she is still with us and is a fantastic young leader and we are hoping she will go on to be an adult leader

Honestly, I left guides and moved to scouts at about that age. I found there were much more opportunities to go on proper camps, do interesting activities etc. Guides appeared to be mostly doing ‘fashion shows’, cooking and other activities that I had no real interest in.

I'm a Guide Leader, I've been a Brownie, Guide, member of The Senior Section and the opportunities do get better the older you get.

12 is a common age for many to use, but the ones that remain (even the ones that remain only because their parents make them) tend to stay in it for the long run and get the most out of it. It might be that the Guide group isn't offering the activities that interest her and it might be the the leadership team aren't making available everything that should be available (I let my Guides plan every term's activities - this term they've planned them around the themes of something they'd like to learn, something they'd like to teach, something they'd like to try for the first time, something they'd like to make - and although a lot of them have featured things like slime, some of them have made request for British Sign Language lessons, cooking outdoors, archery etc and I'll be organising as much as possible for them to do).

If she's bored and isn't getting enough out of it, maybe it is time to take a break. But maybe she'll come back in a few years and it'll be more interesting when there's more to do - there are plenty of opportunities for 14 year olds and above, including being a young leader, going away internationally, organising camps by themselves, national events such as Camp CEO and other activities.

Poor kid

If people are saying things like DofE don't make a difference as that would be discriminatory e.g. if a young person has carer obligations, come from a deprived area, surely the same would apply to doing something extraordinary, like that chap was talking about in the video

I actually disagreed with the video on that point - as would all the guidance I've ever been given on admissions. It is true that I might remember the candidate who did underwater hockey, but I wouldn't favour them - I mean, I also remember people who have an unusual name or who come from my hometown, but obviously I don't pick them for that reason! What he says about independence for me is much better demonstrated with what they say about their interest in the subject outside their lessons - what have they read that wasn't on the school syllabus? Are there particular approaches or types of literature that engage them? I think that's a much better guide to whether they're going to be capable of independent study than whether or not they do a really interesting hobby.

But clearly, he thinks differently, so there isn't one clear consensus on this.

I agree with the suggestions to try cadets. DS joined army cadets at 13 and it has been the making of him. He is a young instructor now and responsible for his own platoon, and it is a really good talking point when he applies for work because he has leadership experience. It sounds like the sort of extra curricular activity you are after in that it adds value but is a bit more varied than Guides.

Is there something she’d like to do instead? My daughter loved rainbows but quit brownies after only a term because she was getting picked on about how she spoke (different accent). She doesn’t like dance, gymnastics or anything like that so didn’t “do anything” for a while. She now does karate, drama class and trampolining and is enthusiastic about all 3.

I don’t see the harm in having a gap between stopping one thing and starting something else. Much better than her later telling people “yes I did go to guides. But if hated it and only went because my mother made me”.

It's quite common that parents who are leaders feel a bit lost when their child wants to quit. I became a beaver leader when ds couldn't get in and it's a big part of my life and friendship groups now. Mind you I was a keen guide and young leader so was always going to end up doing one of them. I do echo other posters though it's very clear which kids don't want to be there and I feel really sorry for them (and the children on the massive waiting list whip might enjoy it more). Guides does seem really boring compared to scouts though ducks and runs

Can she take the lead in suggesting and planning activities she would enjoy? I’m a Brownie and Guide leader and we really encourage this. She can obviously put it towards getting badges as well.

Or if she might like helping the younger girls, can she go back to Brownies as a Pack Leader? We always try to encourage older Guides to do this & they’re excellent with the girls as they’re so close in age.

One of my uni interviews was massively focused on one line in my personal statement about my dad being a funeral director. We discussed attitudes to death, assisted dying, environmental effects of embalming/cremation/burial.

My years of ballet, national prizes in debating, and DofE went ignored. What interesting questions can be asked about those, after all?

My mother was a Guide leader. She thought it would look good for her if I went to Guides, then took over as leader when the old one left. I hated it before she took over, to be honest. Being in Guides was bad enough, we all hated it. But being in guides and your bloody mother was the leader was excruciating.

When I went to boarding school I escaped Guides, and that was honestly the only good thing about it.

I really feel sad for 12 year old kids whose parents want to force them into things in the name of getting into a good university. She will find her own "thing" if she feels free to explore what interests her, rather than having to conform to what you want her to be.

Don't force her to go if she hates it. I know you put in a lot of effort but kids should do activities because they enjoy them not because their parents want them to. I got bored of guides too, I would have really resented my parents if they'd have forced me to continue.

I think extracurricular activities only make a difference for uni or job applications if they include an exceptional achievement or award, and if the recruiter or tutor has some individual preference or interest relating to them. Most won't have that interest but you never know. I don't think just attending something like guides will be of any relevance, and in fact doing any activity just for an application probably means that the passion and talent you need to stand out and make at activity look good to a recruiter won't be there.

Some tutors at highly academic colleges prefer that people do not have too many extra curricular interest as it may be seen as a distraction form study. At my university some people were instructed to give up extra curricular stuff and focus. However, it might look good to have done activities that are really relevant to the subject you are studying (such as drama if applying for English Literature). Also if you are so super talented at an activity the university competes in that they will want to find a way to take you just for that skill, eg. rowing.

I left Guides at 11, as I found it incredibly boring. I even went so far as to ask another group if they went camping because I wanted to and mine didn't.
The leaders spoke to mine. I got hauled over the coals for my nerve. I left. There was no option of scouts back then.

Roll on nearly 40 years and I'm a trainee leader in scouting. And having a whale of a time! even if I'm barely able to keep up with Beavers on the hikes

I've done zipwires, hikes, camps, archery etc, all stuff I had hoped to have done in Guides all those years ago. DS is a Cub and thinks it's hilarious (I joined after he left Beavers).

Maybe OP's currently-bored DD will one day find her way back into one or the other as an adult. Never too late to have fun.

@SingingSeuss

Don't force her to go if she hates it. I know you put in a lot of effort but kids should do activities because they enjoy them not because their parents want them to. I got bored of guides too, I would have really resented my parents if they'd have forced me to continue.

This. ^

@k2p2k2tog

A child who has done bugger all through their teenage years apart from going to school and watching YouTube is going to have nothing to offer.

@DiseasesOfTheSheep

There are many skills and qualities which can be developed and demonstrated through DofE/ scouting / guiding (etc), which may be relevant to UCAS applications - depending on the nature of the course, naturally. An applicant with young leader experience, applying for a degree in education or child psychology or similar would be directly relevant. Attendance at girls parliament type events through guiding would demonstrate their interest in politics. A young leader may well hold a first aid qualification similar, possibly equivalent, to EFAW which would be relevant to a medical course (and useful in the workplace.)

What a tremendous amount of stress on young people/teens! Not only have they got to worry about school and homework and exams etc etc, but they have to do boring and mundane shit like guides or D of E award, or karate or fencing or athletics, or being a litter picker, or volunteering to wipe the arses of the elderly in a home, to be considered for a decent job or a decent uni! 😠

God forbid any child who stayed at home reading, watching TV and playing video games is a decent human being, worthy of employing. 🙄

I would rather my kids didn't work for such precious, demanding, contemptuous employers to be honest! What's more, plenty of young people who have not done all this 'extra curricular' bollocks, and only went to school and college, and ONLY got GCSE's and A levels, have managed to be perfectly successful in life! There's a lot to be said for decent qualifications, a good personality, and a good demeanour.

And as has been said, some kids come from families that cannot AFFORD for their kids to go to all these groups and activities. Should they all be ignored/rejected too?? I think that's what is known as social cleansing! 😠

Not every employer is going to be impressed by someone who has felt the need to join every club going. Especially, as a few posters have said, you can often tell when their parents have forced them into it. The OP sounds like one of these parents; very pushy and rather annoying.

@itshappening

I think extracurricular activities only make a difference for uni or job applications if they include an exceptional achievement or award, and if the recruiter or tutor has some individual preference or interest relating to them. Most won't have that interest but you never know. I don't think just attending something like guides will be of any relevance, and in fact doing any activity just for an application probably means that the passion and talent you need to stand out and make at activity look good to a recruiter won't be there.

Some tutors at highly academic colleges prefer that people do not have too many extra curricular interest as it may be seen as a distraction form study. At my university some people were instructed to give up extra curricular stuff and focus. However, it might look good to have done activities that are really relevant to the subject you are studying (such as drama if applying for English Literature). Also if you are so super talented at an activity the university competes in that they will want to find a way to take you just for that skill, eg. rowing.

All of this! ^ Well said.

As I said - I work at a uni, and can honestly say a lot of stuff that some people are coming out with - is rubbish.