DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

“think it will look good on any type of application compared to someone who does bugger all“

Not for university it won’t. Honestly.

I left guides as I hated it and joined army cadets instead. Had an absolute whale of a time! Maybe she could find something else?

I hated guides, despite having loved brownies. My mum tried to force me but I flat out refused. I found it dull and I just wasn’t interested.
Let her quit!
The whole application form thing is nonsense.. colleges and universities will not care.
I have a degree and a postgrad. Not once has guides come up..

Liz, I was so relieved to read your post. My dd is coming up to 12 and like you say, gave up Guides, Karate and swimming (but has a couple of other interests). She started secondary school and it was like a switch going off. Yes, I was a little disappointed/concerned that she wasn't doing enough extra-curriculum stuff but actually she has a really long day at school (arrives early/picked up late) so I cut her some slack plus I wasn't going to make her do something she no longer enjoyed. My battle is with the screens - dd now has her own phone and computer in her room...in the school holidays I am always determined to drag her away from it but to be fair she enjoys reading etc. too and her new hobby which she loves with a passion is horse riding (expensive).

If you're worried about job and uni applications, it's not even mentioned in these (if I had put that in my uni application I would have actually been laughed at by my teachers and told to take it out) as by this time activities like that become irrelevant, this is a childhood hobby and if she doesn't enjoy it she should stop, it's not worth it if she's just being bored and it's becoming a chore.

Actually I know many people/employers who like to see an activity like Guides on a CV, including one local employer of young people who won't take anyone on unless they have Guides/Scouts/D of E/some form of volunteering etc! And achieving the Baden-Powell Challenge or a similar award demonstrates a variety of different skills and experiences. Surely better than nothing/watching make up tutorials on YouTube?!

If run properly Guides should be Guide-led ie Guides choose their activities and leaders should be regularly engaging the girls so complaints of boredom should be avoided! However, there can be 'good' and 'not so good' units...

12 year old speak for "boring" at Guides quite often means my friends have left/it's not cool etc - I've heard it from girls who are enjoying (and taking part in) an extremely active and varied programme with lots of opportunities. That said, girls who really don't want to be there can often be a hindrance to the unit and the (volunteer!) leaders and there's no point forcing them.

There's also a massive overhaul of the Rainbow/Brownie/Guide programme starting later this year and one of the things that is being addressed is to keep proving challenge and new activities to the girls at the upper end of each section to improve retention. The youngest Guides can be in Year 5 and the oldest in Year 9 or 10 so there is a big difference!

It's a bit different wanting to do Rainbows and Guides. In our area there are I think 4 Rainbow packs, 5 Brownie pack which feed into 1 Guide pack.
Yes, it's a little larger than the younger groups, but that gives you an idea of how many give up.
And it isn't about going and finding it's boring, most that start, continue until the end. Just by age 10/11yo they're not really as into doing clubs.

I hated Brownies and my DM wouldn't let me quit for ages. I kept my opinions to myself when dd wanted to try it and ds wanted to try Cubs. Both quit because they found it sooo boring and pointless. It seems so outdated and lame to me, not to mention unnecessarily hierarchical and preachy. Like going to school but with more sweets, more disorganised and fruitless activities and no actual learning anything! I realise a lot depends on how good the individual leaders are, but I haven't met any who seemed very effective tbh! And no, nobody's going to care much if she puts Guides on her UCAS form. Let the poor child quit!

I jacked guides at 12 and joined air cadets soon after instead

I gave up guides at 12. I quite liked brownies (rainbows wasn't invented then) but guides was the same but we were older. She's got loads out of it already but doesn't like guides, you are overthinking it I think.

Not sure what her school is like, but you definitely would have been ribbed relentlessly in my secondary school if someone found out you went to guides.

Is there a cadet unit near you? Air/Army/Sea or Police cadets. Get her to try one of those instead she might find that more interesting, so you won't have to worry about her sitting on screens every evening.

Around here the Guide groups are quite small but the Scouts are oversubscribed a lot of girls leave Guides and join Scouts instead, maybe she just needs a change.

My son found scouts boring....after waiting 2 years for him to get in, he quit soon. There seemed to.be lots of arts and crafts stuff, which is not his thing, and hanging around in the hit.

At 12-he joined army cadets, he says it us cool. They get treated as young adults, not little kids. It is great for them to socialise with the opposite sex, they need to look after their own kit and lots of activities. DoE too, when older.

Obviously, it is not for everyone, but he is really enjoying it and made lots of new friends.

Guiding has definitely been part of dd1s success. She’s 17 and at uni. She’s travelled with guiding, done a lot of community work, and used the organisation to apply for a lot of other opportunities (an annual girl’s parliament etc, and summer camps as an individual and not part of her unit).
Dd2 is 14 and hanging in there.

Sorry for typos! Cold hands

See if there is something else she might want to do. It does not have to be Guides or nothing does it? Does she want to play a sport? Go to art classes? Even start volunteering at an animal shelter etc?

I think at that age she should be allowed to change her interests. 7 years is more than half her life being directed into one specific sort of thing. And it will give you loads more freedom and free time too if you don't have to put in all that effort volunteering and so forth. It gives you the freedom to find more time for yourself now.

Guides will not make ANY difference to applications

If it's boring, it's boring.

Guides can be fab, or boring. Luck of the draw.

University won't give a shit if she was a girl guide. It will give her opportunities, but she won't not get into uni because she packed in the guides.

Perhaps it is actually boring?

It's been well over 20 years since I went to guides but it was boring as hell

Hardly did anything and real stereotypical girly nonsense.

Maybe ask her why she finds it boring and perhaps suggest ideas for better activities?

Let her quit FFS. She's not you and doesn't have to like what you like. No one will give a toss when she's an adult whether she went to Guides or not (and that employer who won't take people who 'haven't done volunteering' sounds a bit odd - I'd be inclined to read that as 'I want mugs who I can underpay by appealing to their sense of duty' TBH).

I jacked Guides in at 12 because it was dull and pointless and far too church-orientated (OK, this was 40+ years ago in a pretty whitebread community, but still...). Let her have some free time. She'll develop other interests. Oh, and don't fall into the trap of 'Waaah, anything but screen time' - some people who like computers and mobiles are engaging in all sorts of creative and useful hobbies, and even computer gaming can lead to people developing skills that will help them choose a good career later on.

His favourite activity was selling poppies (out in the rain for a whole day!) and he is keen to do more volunteering. That surprised me, but I think it's great.

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years
I was a guide at a group run by a mother like you. It was awful, all about her spoilt brat DD. I too left. Your DD doesn't sound spoilt, more probably embarrassed.
As for look good on an application, you can't really be serious. Have a read of a few threads about uni applications, someone that processes them for a living always turns up and begs parents to stop sabotaging their dc's chances by putting crap like that on it, they know the dc's parents usually made them go, ie it means nothing. And as for getting a job, I've never even heard that one before. This is the 21st century, if that is a companies criteria for employment it hints at how out of touch and old fashioned they are, they need to modernise or not be surprised when they flounder. I wouldn't want to work for them.

Ok ok I get that it will make no difference to an application to anything in her life ever...
wishidnevermentionedthat

I just would like her to do something other than sit in her bedroom on her own watching YouTube videos on make up.
Plus I think it's a good thing for girls to do, and I think she likes it when they go out and do activities but enjoys the crafts in the hall type stuff less.
Of course I'd never make her do something hated just to please me. I'm not totally mean!

You should quit too. Find an interest for YOU - show her that it's good to pursue stuff you care about. That's a better life lesson than guilt tripping her into continuing something she's not enjoying I reckon.

People outgrow Scouts/Guides etc. It happens and it's not a comment or judgement on all the hours you've spent helping get her in there. The fact that she wants to move on doesn't detract from the great times you have had and what a lovely thing you did - hats off to ALL the volunteers, my kids are still little and LOVE Rainbows etc and it's all because of people like you!

Its not reasonable to feel hurt that she no longer wants to do something she started when she was 5. No matter how much effort you put in.
Kids quit hobbies, they change their minds. At least you didnt buy her a pony.