DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

boring and mundane shit

Congrats on pretty much fulfilling Godwin's law there, user

You've made a colossal leap there from "certain aspects of a young person's extra curricular activities, which they've chosen to do for fun, may be relevant and potentially beneficial in an application" to "if they don't do all these things they will never get anywhere in life". I'm sure, as you say you work at a university, you can grasp the failure of your logic here...

but they have to do boring and mundane shit like guides or D of E award, or karate or fencing or athletics

Really? My son does Karate because he wants to do it not because I force him :/ You don't think it's good for kids to be active and excising?

I’d love to know what doesn’t count as “boring and mundane shit”.......

Let her drop it if she isn't interested anymore. She has given it a full 7 years, which is a good innings and a sizeable chunk of her childhood.

I did Brownies and then Guides. I can't say I was especially enamoured with either as I was a fairly quiet child and didn't take naturally to socialising. I jacked in Guides at about the age of 12 and it was such a relief. I would have been very resentful had I been made to continue.

I have three DDs, the youngest of whom is 15. All did Brownies with varying degrees of enthusiasm week by week. They weren't interested in Guides. Two gave it a brief try but didn't like it.

I didn't force them. They did plenty of other extra curricular stuff that they were interested in, including Duke of Edinburgh and after school sports clubs. DD3 is 15. She is a member of a good local hockey club and also plays at county level. She does D of E too.

Let her drop it. Soon enough she may find other interests.

A hobby or activity is supposed to be for fun. Why would you make your child carry on doing something that is no longer enjoyable?

DD (11) loves Guides, as she loved Brownies and Rainbows.

One of the reasons she loves it is that it’s a social group of girls from the village that have all gone on to different secondary schools, so it’s like a youth club almost where they meet up, hang out, and make stuff sometimes. She has always loved it as it’s an all girl environment - and crucially, the leader ( who was also her Brownie leader ) is very laid back and not “all about the badges”. The other Brownie group was very focused on achievement and badges, and we just had had enough of every single extra curricular activity at age 8 being about achievement. Brownies, and now Guides, is relaxed, laid back and most of all FUN. Not achievement focused.

If your DD isn’t enjoying it of course she shouldn’t continue. Let her find her own passion.

OP it sounds you are taking this very personally. I understand that too but you need to try not to. I started as Beavers leader 12 years ago when my boys first joined. . DS1 lasted in scouts until 13. DS2 went through through Explorers until he was 17- loved the activities, kayaking, camping, trips abroad.
DS1 just didn't want to do the same but we didn't force him to carry on - he did have other interests though.
One question - do YOU like guiding because you mention leaving too? This seems odd - seven years is a long commitment if you did it just to get a place for your DD. That's also a lot of training if you have no passion for it. I'm still doing Beavers because I really enjoy it. My boys are now 18 & 20...scouting in our household is now about me not them. I enjoy the many trips out we do and the odd sleepover- now I don't do those kind of activities with my own family I think I enjoy it even more.
So think carefully - you may be sad about your daughter finishing but she may well find something else to do. Maybe look for a good Explorer group locally for when she is 14. Meanwhile carry our enjoying your guiding and maybe use your influence to make sure other girls are finding it fun. Good luck!

Personally i would ask dd to stick it out untill the end of term. If she is still unhappy let her quit on the grounds she finds something to do in its place and it has to be stuck to for X amount of time. Unforutnatly kids grow out of things but she has had a 7 year run which is bloody brilliant in my book! Unfortunatly todays generation are easy to quit and the parents let them (i volunteer in sports type group) and it annoys me how many kids join up and do a 2-3 months, their parents spend a fortune on kits/extra practice aids etc then the child decides they want to do something different and the cycle starts again. (IF it was THAT boring they wouldn't of come back a second time...) What is it teaching them? I had a crap day at work but i cant just quit at the drop of a hat.... its the same principle. My eldest is in cubs and loves it. My youngest begged to go for months i knew she wouldnt like it she enjoyed the first session but by the 4 she didnt want to do it. She was told she wanted to do it so she had to stick it out untill the end of term. Which she did, she now really considers things before deciding and realises you cant just give up.

Any extra activity/hobby looks good on applications (especially if they can be connected to the role) im pretty sure most employers sat looking at 2 cvs that are pretty much identical in academic level and experience would favour the 1 that has hobbies /extra interest....especially ones that have been stuck at for a period of time. Over the ones that read "i like to socialise and read/play xbox" .

I think it will look good on any type of application compared to someone who does bugger all.

I did bugger all. I have 3 degrees now.

She is 12 ffs. Time enough to get interested in something else for her uni application in 5 years.

I think it will look good on any type of application compared to someone who does bugger all.

Yeah other commitments are exactly what retail/service industry employers are looking for in their weekend staff.

I haven’t read the full thread so apologies if I’m repeating what others have already said.
What is it about it she doesn’t like? If she’s saying it’s boring then find out what it is she would rather be doing during her session and feed that back to the leaders.
Do you help run rainbows brownies or guides? Can you ask the guide leaders what they have planned for the next few weeks/term and see if there’s anything she’d like to do from that.
I have ds in Scouts and the activities are so varied there’s no chance of getting bored! My friends runs a guide group and I know she plans loads of great activities too.
Would your dd like to help out at one of the younger groups? That would look good on her cv for getting a Saturday job.

Ultimately it should be her decision but it’s a shame to give up the one extra curricular activity she does.

Two separate things...

1. DS1 and 2 both gave up scouts at about 12, but both went back to different units with friends later, DS2 for approx a year, DS1 is now 18 and still involved as a Explorer Leader.

2. A guide leader I knew, said it was almost part of the job to do themselves out of a job! (I know they are volunteers) by introducing the guides to a wide variety of other activities, not just craft stuff, and if they liked trampolining, or diving, or St Johns or something better than guides, all well and good. Does your DD have any other plans/interests?

Posted too soon... it shows commitment etc. And certains skills gained from hobbies can be applied to certain jobs and therefore look good on a cv. Ie primary school teachers usually use their outside hobby ( ie drama/football/chess etc) to teach extra ciricular activities. I know a vet who, when she was looking for placement years ago, got it based on the fact she had years of experience of working with animals beacuse she had volunteered at a animal sanctuary through out her teens and had been horse riding since she was a child. The 3 people who she was up against in interview were all stronger academically. It all depends on the relevancy to the job. I mean obviously if you want to be a sports coach and your hobby is birdwatching then its not relevant so dont include it.

How odd. I have two first class degrees, A PGCE and a Masters in Education and I have always included my 29 years in Guiding on UCAS forms, personal statements and my CV. It's been brought up in every university and job interview I've ever attended.

I feel sad reading this thread. I never realised so many people hated Guides. I’ve volunteered for years as a Brownie and Guide leader and we’ve usually had waiting lists to join. We’ve always tried to do things the girls want and have taken them on camps, trips, sleepovers, trips to the theatre. We’ve done cooking, games, crafts, plays, ice-skating, Race for Life, puppet shows (Brownies) and even the One Direction film (Guides). If anything I feel sometimes these days there’s an overwhelming emphasis on fun and experiences, rather than service to others and self-development as there was when I was a young member.

We even stayed overnight at a farm and they got to milk the goats and muck out the horses. Not to mention all the campfires in the woods, roasting marshmallows. Pantomimes at Christmas (Brownies) and trip to Pizza Hut (Guides). Much better than staring at YouTube surely.

plus it looks good on future job/uni applications

Nobody will care that she was in the guides.

If she wants to get into working with children in any way it would look good if she was a young leader.

Why is everyone zoning in repeatedly on OP mentioning uni and job applications? She says the main thing is that she’d like DD to do Guides for her development now instead of just sitting in her room. OP have you gone away?

I've made my dd stay, she loves it again new she is a young leader and is off on another camp in summer! I kept encouraging her to try another term and she's really enjoying it again and knows it counts on her cv etc. I did say she could give it up if she found another hobby however but she stuck at it

ferntwist Not all groups are the same. My group did nothing, a makeup evening I think was the last straw for me. Not a single trip, sleepover, activity out side of the weekly meeting. We met in the scout hut I watched my DF helping to build, the scouts canoes were all over the walls. So much potential. Yours sounds fab, I can't imagine I wouldn't have loved that. I had to join a different youth group to do activities.

I personally think Guides is really helpful and would force my dc to do it even if it’s just the one activity they do. It really builds self-confidence long term.

Universities really won't care that she went to Guides.

Oh my goodness, I imagine she is a very different person now! You can't hold your own 7 yrs of service against her. I could never feel this way.

Let her stop if she doesn’t enjoy it. And honestly it really won’t make any difference on a future job application.