DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

I went to guides until I was around 14, none of my friends at high school knew though, I’d probably have been picked on! Maybe she’s embarrassed?

Scaredycat3000.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

How the fuck dare you?

I'm going against the grain a bit here, but my experience in the guides and scouts was really useful in getting my first full time job in the civil service, which I got straight out of school at 18. It gave me things to talk about in the competency based interviews, and I was able to show leadership and commitment as a result of being a guide patrol leader and a young leader with guides and rainbows, I also got some amazing mentoring and leadership development on one of the Guides training programs. I didn't really do anything else in school though, no sports or anything, so if she does have other interests that may not matter so much.

On the other side of the coin my sister absolutely loved brownies, and hated guides, she quit after a few weeks, as it just wasn't for her, and she never regretted quiting for a second!

Ha I remember after completing my bronze DofE and hating it being told by a fierce guide leader that unless I did my gold DofE I would never get to university and would certainly never find a job. Even at the time I remember thinking "that surely can't be right"

It does sound a bit transactional OP.

"I've busted a gut for seven years" -she owes me

She doesn't owe you. What you do is your choice. At twelve she should get to make her own choices. They don't have to be the same choices she made at 5 or 8.

I think scaredy was just picking up on your slightly martyred tone. She's not being an "arsehole".

I’m a Guide leader and 12 is a very common age to quit. I also doubt that just going to weekly meetings will impress anyone on her cv/uni application. Staying and becoming a Young Leader, going overseas to volunteer, duke of Edinburgh, queens Guide award etc yes ok those would count for something.

I also think it’s unreasonable to force a 12 year old to stick at something just because she fancied it as a five year old!

It won’t make an iota of difference to job applications or university

Plus, we need to acknowledge the individuals who put themselves forward to run Guides/Scouts etc. I was a young leader for a while and sometimes it really isn't easy...I think some of these groups are struggling to find leaders in the area where I live (dd2 is keen to try Rainbows/Beavers).

I really badly want my DCs to do something like the DofE. Sadly though at the moment the eldest's only interest is producing spreadsheets analysing the difference in menus at McDonalds from around the globe. And then telling me all about it. Did you know that Israel introduced the McFalafel in January 2011? I've got more where that came from. (He's nearly 9, and autistic. He's a bloody whizz at Excel though).

I hated the step up from Brownies to Guides. Found Guides quite bitchy and snobby after lovely Brownies, not to mention the cold and camping and ugh!

But work with her to find something else she likes to do. I agree with you that she can't stay in on her screen the whole time. For me it was dance - loads of poncing about in leotards with fun people and feeling quite grown up having coffee afterwards (and crucially, all indoors in the warm...)

I did rainbows and brownies but didn't want to do girl guides, I did Sea Cadets instead but only for a few months.

I have to say, I've never put being in the Rainbows or Brownies on a job or uni application? I did put Duke or Edinburgh and ASDAN though when I first left school, but once I gained real work experience I didn't bother anymore.

I never understand parents who think that forcing their dc to keep attending an activity they genuinely don't want to do is a good idea.

Anyway, op, if your dd likes the activities they go out and do but isn't keen on the hall based stuff, is there something she can replace Guides with that better fits her interests? Does her school offer any clubs that would suit her?

Rainatnight

Same reason I didn't do girl guides, by the time I was due to "step up" to Girl Guides it was all getting quite cliquey and bitchy.

I think Brownies etc is great for kids who enjoy it, but the 8-11 age group is generally much more interested in doing leader-directed activities with their mates, and then they grow out of it a bit later on.
My DS is a Scout, he is 13 and I think this will be his last year (the scout troupe is OK but a very small group, and I don't think it's doing all that much for DS so we will probably be phasiing it out this summer.)

After 7 years I think it's fair enough if she wants to give it up. To be honest, she's at an age when a lot of kids give up various out of school activities, it's just part of growing up. Forcing her to to continue to pursue an activity she no longer finds enjoyable is unfair.

Let her quit but she has to take up another hobby.

I screamed bloody murder when my Mum tried to enrol me in Guides after Brownies. Sod that for all the sash badges and woggles in the world. Institutionalised religious twoddle the lot of it and even I realised that at about 7yrs old.

It looks good on future uni/job applications.

Does it? I would think it extremely odd if someone mentioned they were a girl guide on a job application.

If this is the first time she’s said it’s boring, at 12 I think it doesn’t hurt to encourage her to to try and stick it out a little bit longer. And I think it’s also fair to tell her she needs to find a replacement activity she wants to do if she is going to give it up. But it’s not fair on her (or her Guide troop) to make her keep going if she dislikes it.

I found Guides boring at around that age too. Our troop was a bit dull, it was too focused on stuff that felt goody-two-shoes-y and at that age what I wanted was something that let me explore the edges a bit. But that may not be the case for your DD.

Don’t be too annoyed at you “wasted” volunteering - she’s had 7 years of involvement she wouldn’t have had and you’ve probably made dozens of girls lives a little better through it. There doesn’t have to be an end game, what she’s had is plenty already.

I enjoyed Brownies but had a "bored" phase during Guides. This was mostly down to the meetings being boring. My mother made me stick it out and at 14 I became a young leader with my friend and we were allowed to change the dynamics of the meetings completely which led to an influx of new members. I stayed in Guiding until I was 34 and have only left because of the demands of teaching.

Those who say it makes no difference at all - it did to me. I was able to have many opportunities through Guiding including volunteering, representing my country at International events, Duke of Edinburgh awards, Baden Powell award, Queens Guide Award etc and fantastic holiday opportunities too.

When applying to universities they were extremely impressed with my Guiding history, as are potential employees when interviewing for teaching jobs. I already had a wealth of experience in creating learning opportunities for children and carrying them out by the age of 18.

OP, you need to find out why she's bored. If it was for the same reasons as me, perhaps she could be involved with ideas for making meetings more interesting.

Oh, and I'm vehemently atheist and never experienced any aspect of religion during my 29 years in Guiding, apart from the word "God" when being enrolled, which you don't have to choose as there's a non-religious version.

Both my DDs went to Brownies. One went on to guides then grew out of it as was no longer cool! The other didn't even want to start it. It's up to them.

My son did cubs and scouts for a couple of years, I spent a fortune on all the gear and had to help out myself at stuff I hate doing and then he decided he wanted to give up, I was slightly annoyed but also relieved I didn't have to help out anymore as well, he was 12 as well when he wanted to give up, I think that's probably the age when they either love it or have had enough tbh