DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

BrownBiscuitBarrel

This is a good rough guide to how to approach a UCAS form;

m.youtube.com/watch?v=DvqFG-C9RvY

(He's saying only exceptional, "innovative" extracurricular merit a mention.)

I remember at about that age some of my friends did the Order of Malta, which seems more useful to me. They really loved it. I also like the sound of the cadets that were mentioned.

I did Guides, I was a bit meh on it. I'm sure it's a fantastic activity if you like it, but she doesn't. I was glad to pack it in - and not to have to worry about this UCAS nonsense

I have a 12 year old in Guides too. Luckily she loves it, maybe something to do with the fact that they're working on a Go For It challenge themed around chocolate.

Agree it's not for everyone and at 12 she;s unlikely to be able to articulate why she doesn't want to go any more. Apart from a general sense it's not "cool". DD gets a lot out of guides - she's met a lot of new people which smoothed her transition to senior school as she knew people in her year and older girls to say hello to as well. She is now patrol leader and is honing her negotiation skills to try to get her patrol in order!

In your situation I'd be saying to DD that it's fine if she wants to give it up, but what's she going to do instead? "Nothing" wouldn't be an acceptable answer. I think it's really important that kids of that age are doing something constructive with their time and taking part in those sorts of organisations, whether it be Scouts, Air Cadets, St John;s Ambulance or something similar.

So why do private schools seem to have everyone doing Duke of Edinburgh awards? Surely it would distract them from studying to get higher grades.

I suspect this has a lot more to do with those schools selling themselves on producing 'rounded individuals' and 'a distinctive ethos' (I don't know how it's distinctive if they all have it either, but that's what they say) than its direct impact on university admissions.

So why do private schools seem to have everyone doing Duke of Edinburgh awards?

Private schools are businesses. They have to have something to "sell" to parents besides raw grades.

My dd does scouts. It's mostly caving, climbing, kayaking. Very little time in the hall, and no crafts. Her group is particularly active I think, but you could look into it.

My best friend and I were asked to leave the Guides

It's never held either of us back as adults I must admit. We've both done quite well despite not putting it on our CV

DD was a Brownie (never knew that the Cubs take girls, not a UK childhood) and she loved it until the last year. Their leader wasn't very inspiring and I think the idea of guides really put her off even more. Also several of her friends left and moved to Cubs but we couldn't get DD on the list.

She carried on because we found a Scout unit and her brownie pack was quite high on the priorities on the waiting list.

4 months in, she absolutely loves going, their whole set up is a lot more outgoing than brownies and guides (based on what I hear from friends and what I read on the website).

I find it important to do something outside typical classes and being at home but it had to fit. Either the set up doesn't work or the chemistry with the leader. Cadet is a decent alternative, I think Sea Cadets take them from 12.

We have a rule that if you begin a class you carry on until the term ends. If you still insist on quitting I give notice at 1/2 term and make clear that I won't put her on the register again for a while.

If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. And I'd accept that. My DD2 used to go to dance classes, it was a complete pain in the arse regarding transport, cost and effort after school but I was happy to do it as long as she enjoyed it. The minute she said she didn't, I was equally happy to stop. It's for their benefit not yours. As a compromise, I'd say that you're happy for her to stop but that she needs to find something else to fill the time as opposed to just sitting in her room. Even if it's a walk or swimming.

Oh D of E doesn't make any difference to applications either I'm sure - but it's "doing" something that isn't YouTube :o and it's vastly more interesting and mentally and physically active than guides. Or was for me anyway.

We had to organise our own volunteering, and sport - we did an in depth, long first aid course for bronze skill and a police run crime fighting course for silver (I can't remember what it was actually called - not crime fighting :o it was fun and mentally engaging though, unlike playing games and singing songs at guides).

We arranged our own skill for gold and my friend and I did a car maintenance course and learned to change oil and tyres and other useful stuff.

The expeditions were grueling for me (not bronze, but glad certainly) because I've never been sporty but weirdly enjoyable too. An actual adventure. We had to plan our own routes with map and compass and climbed mountains carrying all our equipment.

I wasn't suggesting D of E would help with applications, just that there is more to it - more point, more skills, more action, its more adventurous.

Perhaps it is more sanitised and bubble wrapped and cossetted - and therefore less fun - now though, I did it in the olden days when all this was fields...

“So why do private schools seem to have everyone doing Duke of Edinburgh awards? Surely it would distract them from studying to get higher grades.”

Because they are fun, the kids learn lots, it keeps them busy and looks good on the prospectus.

Grades. And possibly work experience or activities directly relevant to the course they want to study. Nothing else. If you think about it, it would be wildly discriminatory if it was any other way

Exactly. How do I know whether a student does no extracurricular activities because they're lazy or because they have caring responsibilities or come from a family where they couldn't even afford the bus fare to the local community centre? I don't. Schools sometimes mention such circumstances, but you can't take it for granted that they will. So it would be both ridiculous and discriminatory to mark a student down for not having 'enough' extracurricular stuff.

She went for 7 years not 2 weeks and then got bored. YABU. She doesn’t feel the same as a teenager as she didn’t when she was 5. Not really unheard of...

The thing about all of these activities like Scouts, Guides or D of E is that it gives you experience to draw upon in interview. Especially the ones which use standard questions for all interviewees to avoid claims that they're discriminating.

Things like "Tell me about a time you overcame a significant personal challenge" - people who have done D of E or Scouts/Guides could talk about that time at camp when it was pouring and they had to pull themselves and their team together to get up a hill / build a raft / cook dinner. Or "Tell me about a time you worked as part of a team" - Scouts/Guides and DofE people can talk about organising activities, delegating responsibilities, keeping everyone happy, playing to everyone's strengths and reaching your goal.

Not saying other young people don't have similar experiences but organising a Minecraft online party or getting 500 views on a YouTube post isn't quite the same, is it?

My BIL is in his 40s. When he was a child he worked his way through the Boys Brigade, although he didn't become a leader or anything like that.

He has had quite a few jobs, but in his 30s he joined the police. Supposedly, in his interview for the police, they commented on his time with the Boys Brigade and how they were very impressed by it as it showed commitment (ignoring the fact that he had never seemed to commit too long to any other job he had been in!)

So I suppose it can make a difference, especially it would appear from this thread in the public sector/civil service.

my daughter left one unit as it was boring so she joined another with one of hr friends. they were more extreme lots of activities ,badges, campfire nights so is that particular unit fun? i wouldnt make her do an activity if shes not enjoying it so maybe get her to find herself another hobby she is enthusiastic about on the cndition she can leave once shes done that. my dd is 14 and loves drama. she does 2 classes monday and musical theatre and private drama lessons on a saturday. i cant keep her away and is much more satisfying as a parent knowing my hard earned cash is going on something she really loves!

I was in the same postion a few years ago, my dd now 18 wanted to join beavers, but there was no space, so my wife and I got intouch with the local district and started another group. My ds was also dragged along from the age of 3. I work in an outdoor centre and had lots of skills and opportunities to get the group out doing active things. Great for the beavers, but caused an issue when they moved onto cubs and as we stayed with beavers as my ds was still involved and my dd found cubs really boring and so did my son when he moved up. Both dropped out, dd after cubs and ds didn't make a second term. They both had become bored of it.
We stepped away from running the group, but had some great parents who were prepared to take it on. I went on to assist within a role in district for a couple of years, before work took over.
We would have like for them to continue, but since then they have joined many other groups and activities that have made them rounder individuals. By the time they get to scouts or guides, they know what they like and they are capable of making their own decisions. Wasn't that what we were trying to teach them in the early sections anyway.

The thing about all of these activities like Scouts, Guides or D of E is that it gives you experience to draw upon in interview. Especially the ones which use standard questions for all interviewees to avoid claims that they're discriminating.

Things like "Tell me about a time you overcame a significant personal challenge" - people who have done D of E or Scouts/Guides could talk about that time at camp when it was pouring and they had to pull themselves and their team together to get up a hill / build a raft / cook dinner. Or "Tell me about a time you worked as part of a team" - Scouts/Guides and DofE people can talk about organising activities, delegating responsibilities, keeping everyone happy, playing to everyone's strengths and reaching your goal.

a) Since we seem to be assuming that the child in question is going to university and so will be a graduate when they're in such interviews, I'd suggest that university group work etc. is likely to give much more 'relevant' examples, as it's much closer to work.
b) Again, at the risk of being overly cynical - you could just make that stuff up. No one is ever going to check you really did once get stuck in the rain at Scouts, if this really is such a killer anecdote.

Where is the OP? Did she not like the answers she was getting? Has she picked up her ball and gone home???

There are many skills and qualities which can be developed and demonstrated through DofE/ scouting / guiding (etc), which may be relevant to UCAS applications - depending on the nature of the course, naturally. An applicant with young leader experience, applying for a degree in education or child psychology or similar would be directly relevant. Attendance at girls parliament type events through guiding would demonstrate their interest in politics. A young leader may well hold a first aid qualification similar, possibly equivalent, to EFAW which would be relevant to a medical course (and useful in the workplace).

It's bonkers - to me - to say that it's not something to mention on a UCAS form. If you've just rocked up weekly and done crafts, no, you probably don't have anything useful to say about it - but if you've made the most of the (relevant) opportunities, it's completely appropriate.

Thanks for the YouTube link to UCAS form. It's a few years away til we have to think about this (if DD goes to uni, which I assume she will as it appears any job now needs a qualification before entry).
DNephew applied to a top notch uni with straight As and a personal statement that "couldn't have been better" according to SiL. I wonder what he wrote? He applied for a course which he had shown no interest in before as fair as I could tell.

OP - my DD is similar age, loves guides but as soon as she wants to quit I'd let her. They also did the chocolate badge challenge last term - it appeared to involve "eating chocolate" and that's it!

Since we seem to be assuming that the child in question is going to university

You might be - I'm not. Even interviews for working on the tills in a supermarket on a weekend or in a visitor attraction for the summer holidays will have those sorts of questions.

A child who has done bugger all through their teenage years apart from going to school and watching YouTube is going to have nothing to offer.

If she has said that she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't send her again. There may be underlying reasons, or she's just grown out of it.
However, I agree that it would be nice, if she took up another hobby, of her choice.
Maybe you enjoy guides, or maybe this is your get out clause.

If people are saying things like DofE don't make a difference as that would be discriminatory e.g. if a young person has carer obligations, come from a deprived area, surely the same would apply to doing something extraordinary, like that chap was talking about in the video

YABU, DD shouldn’t be obligated to do an activity she doesn’t enjoy anymore because you chose to give your time to volunteer for so many years! Bloody hell.