DD wanting to quit Guides.

[sunnysunchild]

When I've busted a gut volunteering as warranted leader for GirlGuiding the last 7 years, just so she could get into Rainbows then Brownies and now Guides?
Waiting lists for Rainbow were miles long in 2010 (still are) groups are still closing all over the place due to lack of volunteers. I agreed to volunteer as a leader then so she could jump the long queue.
Now she says it's boring. I want her to do it as I think it's good for her (she doesn't do dancing or sport or anything else, plus looks good on future job/uni applications)

I feel a bit hurt that she want to jack it in.
Maybe I should quit too.

Thoughts?

edmund my DF actually threw me out when I said I didn’t want to go to music college! I’m 57 now and still have no regrets about that decision as I just didn’t have the ability either theory wise or technically to be successful. So awful when parents are so judgemental about things like this. I think with my DF he wanted to be able to have two musically talented kids not the one. Grrrrrr.

I'm a Scout Leader and the worst kids are the ones who are only there because their parents insist
Agree that only long and dedicated commitment to scouting/ guiding will make any discernible difference to any sort of application, trudging along once a week won't impress anyone.
Why not tell her she can quit if she takes up something else? If she dislikes the crafty, in the Hall evenings then she may well prefer Scouts instead

There are always really odd ideas on MN about what belongs on a UCAS form. It's the madness that never dies.

My DD quit guides same reason it is boring. Sadly ours are not like they were when I was younger, they don't go anywhere just seem to spend their life doing arts and crafts. Middle DD quit Brownies for the same reason but youngest loves Rainbows, all children are different. Let her quit guides is not for everyone!

“I attended guides” is highly unlikely to make a massive difference when it comes to cv and uni application.

What may make a difference is anything above and beyond done with Guides (or any other organisation) which shows some sort of self discipline/motivation/willingness to help others etc. But a young person who doesn’t want to be there is highly unlikely to decide to take part in those extras, and if they do are even less unlikely to engage enough to get anything from it.

I'm guessing that all the posters on here saying that Guides is useless in future life/on application forms either didn't go themselves or were unlucky enough to not find a good group“

It’s not useless in future life- it’s just useless for UCAS forms. And I am the proud owner of 2 Queen’s Scouts.

I’ve also had a recent influx of 12/13yo girls who left guiding a few years ago (they used to be in my brownie pack) and are now back. I’m running our second international trip and they are all back super-keen and working hard towards awards.
It’s not unusual for girls to lose interest at this age - parents are always surprised when I smile sweetly and wish them well. I always say ‘you know where we are’

I hated guides - it was run by a woman who was related in some way to half the girls (she didn't have children but the most unpleasant girl there was her niece, and other girls accidentally called her aunty too but I think were cousins daughters or other more distant relatives). It was really nasty, she turned a blind eye to a real culture of bullying and snippy comments.

I'd hated brownies too but just because it was ditch water dull and so worthy - I remember being made to learn a really smarmy little speach about why I loved some dreadful hymn (the speach clearly not reflecting my actual opinion) to introduce it at a concert. There wasn't the unpleasantness there but it was dire. We never went camping, the most we did was the odd treasure hunt and one bus trip to some kind of meet up with a camp fire, coming back the same day. There was altogether too much singing.

My mum had loved brownies and guides and been a young leader. She took it personally that I wanted to leave I was actually asked to leave brownies for refusing to lie in the smarmy speech mentioned above, which apparently showed my bad attitude and she persuaded the guide leader to take me in early but I the end that was one pre teen battle I won. I still got into university :o

I did do DofE to gold though and enjoyed it. Guides was just so hideous and pointless.

If your group does lots - loads of camping and travel and is involved with national and international stuff then maybe it's great, but the lackluster village packs being kept going half heartedly just for the leader's own relatives or without the time or energy to do lots of exciting things away from the hall are a waste of everyone's time.

Guides was the most boring part of my childhood which i had to attend because the CMs daughter went. I fucking hated it. Is it more interesting these day? If not then i don't blame her.

“Trinity66 black belt in Karate does look good - commitment, determination, resilience”

Not on a UCAS form it doesn’t.

What does look god on a UCAS form? I've never looked at one.
From MN, I thought you had to illustrate what a wonderful rounded, passionate person you were. Surely dedicating years to a sport would help show that.

@sunnysunchild

I cannot get my head round someone thinking going to guides would help with her uni application. Who on earth told you that?!

As someone who works at a uni, I can tell you that is most certainly utter bollocks.

Let the poor lass leave if she wants to. Many girls find it a bit cringe being in the guides when they get to a certain age.

As someone said, you only did it for your child's benefit anyway, so it doesn't matter if you leave does it?!

*speech

Guides does offer fantastic opportunities for travel and meeting people from around the world and working with younger children, and mostly at much lower cost than it would otherwise be. But most of that isn't really available to a 12 year old - it would apply a bit later on when she's 14 plus.

To a 12 year old it probably just looks like a boring club run by a few middle aged mums - they might not see the exciting side unless the leadership is quite interesting themselves.

I think the problem is that a lot of it has been massively dumbed down over the years. 12 year old guides used to have a lot of responsibility and were looked up to in the community - they had abilities to do first aid, cook for refugees, cope in emergencies, look after children - where as now they are just treated like children and do a lot of craft and games.

Attending guides in itself isn't going to make any difference for her future career - however the opportunities offered could be fantastic memories in years to come, also could open her eyes to the wider world and improve social skills etc. If she takes up the leadership and travel opportunities in a few years, that is the sort of thing that definitely could look good on a CV depending what career she goes into. However if she doesn't want to then obviously it will be counter productive to make her

I think after 7 years she's probably had enough. If you make her continue because of future applications etc. despite the fact she isn't enjoying it anymore then she'll be doing it for the wrong reasons.

Don't be THAT mum, there are plenty of enriching and exciting activities and clubs she can get involved in. Rather quit while you're ahead, and she will look back on rainbows, brownies and guides with fond memories rather than it being something she resents.

“What does look god on a UCAS form? I've never looked at one.
From MN, I thought you had to illustrate what a wonderful rounded, passionate person you were. Surely dedicating years to a sport would help show that.”

Grades. And possibly work experience or activities directly relevant to the course they want to study. Nothing else. If you think about it, it would be wildly discriminatory if it was any other way,

*BertrandRussell

Not on a UCAS form it doesn’t.*

I didn't mention a UCAS form

If you like being a guide leader then carry on. You don't have to stop because she wants to. Unless of course you are only doing guides because you want your 12 year old to do guides. In which case you need to start thinking about letting go a bit, your child is nearly a teen and will be wanting some independence.

I found guides dull at that age. I wanted to go making fires and learning woodcraft, instead I got to hang about in a dull hut singing songs that were far too religious for my level of atheism Does your guide group have a religious tone that is putting her off if it is not what she believes? IME adults will just go along with it, but a teen or preteen is likely to object to something they don't believe in.

Anyway, there are loads of things girls of that age could do, and any hobby looks better on an application than "watching tv" which my brother once put on a job application perhaps she would prefer an activity like mountain biking or something creative like painting?

What does your DD like?

People put membership of Guides and Brownies on a CV? I see many CV and job applications and to be honest if I saw that I may think they are grasping at straws. Your child owes you nothing for the volunteering you have done- that was your choice. If she is no longer interested, let her leave.

What looks good on a UCAS form these days? High grades.

Grades. And possibly work experience or activities directly relevant to the course they want to study. Nothing else. If you think about it, it would be wildly discriminatory if it was any other way,

So why do private schools seem to have everyone doing Duke of Edinburgh awards? Surely it would distract them from studying to get higher grades.

As an employer within a competitive career pathway, if someone put 'guides' (brownies, scouts, cubs, beavers, etc..) on their cv it would probably put me off! I've never seen though (people generally aren't that stupid to put it on!)

YAbVU you cannot make her go, but find out if tgere is anything she would like to do, like a sport, ir cadets.

Please let her stop going. I remember hating brownies but my mom made me continue going. It was a waste of her money and a waste of my time. I knew I didn't enjoy it at 8. If your daughter's 12 and telling you she doesn't want to go then you should respect that.

DofE etc don’t make a jot of difference to Oxbridge admissions tutors. If they like you at interview you’re in, it’s as simple as that.

What does look god on a UCAS form? I've never looked at one.
From MN, I thought you had to illustrate what a wonderful rounded, passionate person you were. Surely dedicating years to a sport would help show that.

I'm a lecturer, and have done admissions and have read UCAS forms. I don't give a toss what extracurricular activities they do - why would I? I want good students of literature, not good runners or guides or visitors of the elderly or whatever. It is incredibly frustrating - because it does the candidate no favours, and I'm sure is the result of bad advice from parents or schools - when they waste half the personal statement on this stuff; it takes away from the actually relevant stuff they can say about their interests in the subject.

Also, if being a guide was this massive advantage, you could just put it down without it being true - I have no way of checking!

It's like the pervasive belief that people reading UCAS forms have some kind of access to the student's school discipline record. Unless the school put it in the reference I wouldn't know if they'd burned their school down, let alone if they were excluded for a day in year 9 for wearing incorrect uniform.